The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Jennifer Aniston's Boobs

Jennifer, you're really hot. You've been really hot for a long time now. You've taken great pains to portray yourself as a hot chick; so much so, in fact, that a hairstyle has been named for you and people follow you around to see what you'll do next. There are thousands of black and white posters of you naked with your legs crossed in front of you, hiding your naughty bits just enough to not be lewd. You seem nice and you're pretty much the only f.r.i.e.n.d to have a post-tv career - and you were great in Office Space.

That said, you need to chill about the titty pictures. Call off the lawyers. Seriously. You were sunbathing topless, outside. Did you really think that you'd be alone for as far as the eye can see? Of course some pervarazzi was going to show up with a Palomar-sized telephoto lens to take pictures of your tanned torso. Every teen out there (and most of the thirty-something crowd) have now saved the image of your naked body to their my pictures file, soon to be misplaced and later found by their girlfriends/wives.

Don't worry; this will blow over just like Janet's titty thing did. And you didn't even flash at a public event. Your tits will be forgotten by next Tuesday if you just shut up about it. They are nice though....

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