The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Keith Richards is a Superhero

I have it figured out. The answer to the question that has plagued rock 'n roll for decades is now evident, and you heard it here first: Keith Richards has super powers. He is a mutant rock hero.

The footage of Rolling Stones guitarist Richards being electrocuted in 1965 at a concert in Sacramento is being auctioned and 'ol Keith may buy it himself. I believe that this incident (where Keith's guitar strings touched an ungrounded mic) mutated Richards' DNA thus giving him the power of extended life and the ability to not die from drugs or tobacco. He can go on, fighting shitty pop music, people with good pronunciation, and the Christian Right.

Kudos to a man who can wear the Seinfeld puffy shirt and make it look cool. He can wear headbands that were once only destined for the waists of coke-addicted, rail-thin chicks who can walk down runways. And most of all, he can act in Pirates of the Carribean II and make me laugh. Rock on you death-defying, mutant, puffy-shirt-wearing superhero, you.

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