The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Crazy Ol' Mahmoud

Great, now he’s trying to start a nuclear war.

Iranian Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said recently that his government would end all voluntary cooperation with the United Nations if they were brought before the Security Council regarding their nuclear program. Doesn’t that sound like the fat kid taking his ball and going home because he got caught cheating? It would be funny as watching John Ashcroft eat a moose-ball burger on Fear Factor if only the “ball” wasn’t a fucking nuclear missile.

As I’ve said before, Ahmadinejad, is certifiable. Check out this quote from a conversation with a mullah about his address to the United Nations General Assembly:

"One of our group told me that when I started to say 'Bismillah Muhammad', he saw a green light come from around me, and I was placed inside this aura…I felt it myself. I felt the atmosphere change, and for those 27 or 28 minutes, all the leaders of the world did not blink. When I say they didn't move an eyelid, I'm not exaggerating. They were looking as if a hand was holding them there."

Wow. He was inside a green aura. Also, it seems sorta like time stood still or something. Anyone else reminded of X-Men? I think Ahmadinejad might just be Dr. Charles Xavier minus the badass wheelchair; or at least he wants to be Xavier but needs an ICBM to do the job.

Seriously though, a green aura? That’s the best you can do? If I was trying to be an international psychopath I’d leave that UFO shit at home and be handing out business cards printed on the sculpted scapulae of nine year-old Ugandan child soldiers. You want horrified faces, that’ll do it, friend.

Not that it’s a shock that Ahmadinejad is crazy – that’s been the word ‘round the water cooler for quite some time. He was allegedly a gifted torturer and interrogator under Khomeini and executed dissidents for him. Fantastic. He wants a world Muslim state and is a super-extreme, right wing, freaky-deaky Islam nut. And let’s not forget about the “wipe Israel off the map” comment and the whole “Holocaust is a myth” bit he loves so much.

If I were a praying man, I’d pray that Ahmadinejad rolls his ankle on a piece of rubble and lands on an unexploded mine, blowing him apart such that his head lands on his own lap in a compromising position. No martyr’s death for him. Of course, I’m not a praying man because that’s just silliness, but I can hope. And hope I shall.

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