The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Trading Cards

Here I thought trading cards were only for things like hockey, baseball, and maybe the odd set for synchronized swimming. I'd buy them. I have a thing for well maintained, slicked-back hair on women. That and nose-plugs.

I'm back in Ontario now after being home in Halifax for the end of year vacation where my cousin gave me some trading cards he had no use for. He was good with all the sports cards (including a mint-condition Gretzky rookie card, I might add), but I said I'd take the weird ones off his hands because I'm a nice guy and heck, maybe they'll be worth something when I take them to the geeky 36 year old counter clerk playing Magic with his 13 year old peer group in the basement of the store. In my head I thought, "no way, that geek is going to play me for a fool...I'm going to look up the street value of the Garbage Pail Kids cards to make sure I'm not getting ripped off by the 40 Year Old Virgin."

Seriously, that's what I thought. I've spent the last hour or two looking up the value of shit like Ghostbusters 2 cards and Happy Days cards. I watched Happy Days regularly and I had no idea there were trading cards of Mr. and Mrs. C out there. Who'd a thunk Donny Most would be forever immortalized? Well, I'm sure a lot of people would think that, but not in trading card format. If they only had a Count Malachi card....

There are Alf cards out there! Alf! I hated that stupid show. On a slightly happier note though, it seems as if a lot of other people did as well because the cards are worth shit. Personally, my first real girlfriend in high school liked Alf and had posters of him in her room along with her waterbed and the Chippendale men who all looked like what you'd imagine the statue of David would look like if he came alive and had a quarter-pound of hot pepperoni packed under his leaf. She's a large part of why I couldn't stand that little cat-eating freak of nature. That goes to show you how much people will let slide if you have a cute catch-phrase and are furry. The creature actually bragged about eating household pets and a lot of people were ok with it.

I'm sure that old girlfriend ate cats too.

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