The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Shock and Awwww

In a twist that should not have been unexpected, after their episode of South Park attacking Scientology was taken off Comedy Central, Trey and Matt have declared war on the supposed religion. Isaac Hayes left just in time....

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!...Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies...You have obsructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail!", was the quote from the pair in Daily Variety today. Trey and Matt rock and if I ever see them, I'll buy them a beer (or something of equal monetary value that they like).

Apparently, Tom Cruise said that he wouldn't promote Mission Impossible 3 if Comedy Central aired the show again (and Comedy Central caved, supposedly because Viacom owns both the funny network and Paramount, which shoves action fare like MI:3 down our gullets). Cruise's people wouldn't confirm anything, but if jumping on the couch and trying to stare down Matt Lauer are any indication, Tommy is pretty passionate about his aliens.

You know, for an alien-believing, couch-jumping, ultrasound-buying, weirdyass, Tom certainly has some power in TinselTown. Why is that? When a person is so obviously off his rocker in most other jobs, he'd be canned. If a plumber came to your house to install a pedestal sink, and then started rambling about how much he loved his teenage wife and that the Powder-Blue Fairy was going to make her nightly visit to his mind so the purple turtle in his brain could keep doing pirouettes, you'd probably snatch the glass of tasty lemonade from his meaty hand and show him the door. But Tommy gets a pass because people want to see him save the world and do endo-wheelies on a Kawasaki Ninja while shooting European-homosexual-undertone villians.

I think it's time to take Tom's lemonade away.

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