Coochie Coochie Coo...BOOM!!

Perhaps my impression of prison visitations is incorrect. I mean, my only experience with dropping into centres of incarceration is in the movin' pictures or in the TV box. I contemplated visiting the Bangkok jail to give some chewing gum to locked-up Westerners when I was there, but then I remembered that the river tour was starting and I should get there early if I wanted a good seat.

Now I read an article saying that 44 year-old Lidia Alvarado smuggled into prison a live grenade and some weed. Guess where she hid it. Yeah, that's right, let your mind go to that place that you only visit on Fridays and the late-night television starts to show boobies. You got it, friend, she put the LIVE GRENADE and weed in a tube in her vagina.

As if I didn't feel insecure enough before I read this bit. Jesus, how inadequate can a guy be when you've got some El Salvadoran chick using her cooch as a fuckin' RPG. That's like having Matthew McCockehey as a flatmate and your girlfriend seeing him naked in the kitchen cooking a stir fry and reading poetry. Once you realize the potential, your limits come crashing into perspective and you're sure you are out of your league. Dammit.

That chick needs help.