The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"Autistic? Here's a gun and a shiny toy, enjoy the war."

The U.S. Army not following recruiting guidelines? No... That can't be right. Must have been a typo or something. Obviously the fine folks who bring in the new blood (man, how appropriate is that as a metaphore?) are of the highest moral standards, right? Right?

What do you want to bet that more than 90% of them say they're "religious" or "very religious"? Just an interesting thought.

It seems that an 18 year old with moderate to severe autism was recruited to be a cavalry scout, one of the most dangerous positions in the army. Sadly, it also seems that the guy who convinced the boy to join, Cpl. Ronan Ansley, ignored or misused medical information that obviously would have disqualified him from service.

Jared Guinther was diagnosed as autistic after his parents noticed that he wasn't like other kids, but not in the superhero way.

"He'd play with one toy for days. Loud noises bothered him. He was scared to death of the toilet flushing, the lawn mower". Yeah, sounds like a kid perfectly fit for the military. Scared of a flushing toilet - he'll do great when some fucker is shooting an RPG at his face. I've worked with many kids with autism and I can say with great authority that not ONE of them would I ever recommend for something as severe as military duty.

This Ansley assclown actually had the nerve to say to Jared's mother that he had, "been in special classes, too - for dyslexia." That's like saying to a guy in a wheelchair, "come on, stand up - I pulled a hammy once so you should be able to stand up with a broken back, you pussy." A family member who was concerned for Jared asked what he would do if someone shot at him. Like any teen, Jared ran to his video game console. He started it up and then killed a soldier in a game and said, "See! I can do it!"

When George Carlin talked about the first Gulf war in one of his many HBO specials, he referred to "Nintendo pilots". I really don't think he was talking about autistic kids playing HALO.

Scoring showed that Jared got 43 out of 99 on the Army's basic entrance exam. How sad is it that thirty-one is the lowest grade the Army allows for enlistment? That means that a semi-functional autistic boy scored higher than some of the soldiers serving over in Iraq now. Think about that for a couple of seconds. No fucking wonder idiots like Lyndie England are showing up with prisoners on leashes. I'd love to get a copy of that test but, sadly, I can't find one online...yet. I guess I'll have to assume:

Question 1: Spell your name in capital block letters.
Question 2: Put a checkmark (looks just like a Nike swoosh) at the end of this sentence.
Question 3: Go on to question 4.
Question 4: Good job. Draw a star for yourself.
Question 5: What sound does a gun make? a)bang (b)boom (c)rat-a-tat-tat (d)all of these

I think you get the idea.

Jared's parents called Sgt. Alejandro Velasco, Ansley's supervisor and a douchebag who said to Jared's mother, "...He doesn't need his mommy to make his decisions for him." It's funny to note that when a reporter visited the U.S. Army Recruiting Station, Velasco initially denied knowing Jared, but later said he'd spent a lot of time mentoring him because Jared was going to become a cavalry scout. Once the interview got going a bit, Velasco suddenly grabbed the recorder and tried to tear out the tape. Guilt makes you do funny things. I'd really like to see DkHed. Velasco get anally violated by Patrick Ewing's wang after dipping it in hot sauce.

DchBg. Ansley actually showed up at the Guinther's door and said that he would probably lose his job and face dishonorable discharge. I hope they showed him a photo of a person making a sad, sympathetic face - and then tore it in half in front of him. Or maybe even better, if one of the other kids had a violin, they could have slowly taken it out and started playing, never breaking eye contact. That would have been hilarious.

It would be funny if it wasn't so godamn tragic.

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