The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

BattleCry - The Scariest Fucking Thing I've Seen in Years

They describe themselves as "God's Army". If you haven't seen Battle Cry yet, you might want to take a look; you might also want to don a diaper because it's scary enough to make you piss your pants.

I read this Truthdig article and then got a little more familiar with the cul...sorry, "organization". It seems like another "get 'em when they're young" approach only with Navy SEALS and light shows and stuff to make Jesus cool. 'Cause, you know, Jesus isn't cool on his own. He's a bit of a quiff.

Check this out from Battle Cry's "Core Values":
Faith
We receive direction, provision, and motivation directly from the God and His Word to take the Gospel to the World.

Integrity
We are who we say we are; and we always do the right thing, regardless of expediency.


And from their "Teenage Bill of Rights":
We will do our best to represent and communicate our Creator to our peers, leaders, and society as a whole

We will work to see that every person has the opportunity to see and hear about the true nature of our God.

We recognize that God, our Creator, is the source of all truth.


I love how the writers of the above sneak in the bit about "making sure that every person has the opportunity to hear about Jebus". Get more missionaries! Send 'em to the fuckin' Congo! We need more Christians! There's just too much education on this continent and people aren't falling for the "died and rose to Heaven" bit anymore. When employment in shitty sweatshop companies is down, they go to the uneducated and teach them that theirs is a wonderful company with opportunities and hope.

I love the Superhero feel to this passage from their site:

When Judeo-Christian beliefs are labeled as intolerant,

When activists seek to remove God from our schools,

When truth is deemed relative and unknowable, It is necessary for us, the emerging generation of young Americans, to stand for what is right and reclaim the values that have made our nation great...


Uhhh...Judeo/Christian beliefs are intolerant. By definition, if you are excluding people based on religious belief, sexual orientation, or culture, you are intolerant. It's ok. I'm intolerant of you (ignorance really gets to me) and you're allowed to be intolerant - just don't try to bullshit a bullshitter. Point two: God is not allowed to be in your public schools. That's why everyone pays taxes. If you want God in your schools, go to a private school or home-school your kid. Point three: Truth is quite knowable, you just don't want to hear it because it will shatter your precious beliefs. So, everyone on the count of three - heads in the sand!

And of course there are links to Answers in Genesis and the Institute for Creation Research. Why wouldn't there be? Just answer me this: did your IMITS (Invisible Man In The Sky) make Adam and Eve at the same time, or did s/he/it make Adam first then bring Eve along out of his rib? By the way, go to AiG sometime and try to make sense of their "answers" - it'll hurt your head. Oh, and go to ICR's site and check out "Articles", then "Dr. John's Q&A" and read his "How Well Proven is Evolution?" piece. My favorite quote is, "...evolution is not something we can observe. If it's happening today, it's going too slow to observe. If it happened in the past, we can't return to the past to see. It may be a fact of history, but how would we know?"

Really? It's not something we can observe? So this doesn't count? Or bacteria evolving defences against medicines? Or the plantaris muscle in the calf of humans (it is atrophied, often absent, and blends into the achilles tendon - but in chimps, it is a useful muscle that flexes all the toes at once - handy if you're in a tree)? Nope, you're full of shit, Dr. John. We can see evolution just fine.

Back to Battle Cry, I'm sure you'll have a heart attack from shock to know that Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell are partners! Rub my chest and call me Vicks, I didn't see that one coming! I think my favorite bit from the teenie-evangalist site is, "I will keep my eyes on the battle, submitting to Your code even when I don’t understand."

Oh, you don't understand? That's ok - just go and tell people all about the bible and Jebus and that it's the TRUTH! Not just that, it's the ONE AND ONLY TRUTH!

"I love you, you big heathen, and I'll pray that you'll one day come to the realization that I had - that even though I have no idea what the h-e-double hockey sticks I'm reading or talking about, it's true and just. Gays are sinners and abortion is killing babies and my bathing suit area is evil, but you are in my prayers. Believe or you'll end up in hell, and boy is it hot there. Oh, and if my teacher tells me you are aligned with Satan, I'll kill you."

7 Barbaric Yawps:

At 17/5/06 10:36 pm, Anonymous teakel said...

I have been to that site before, and every time I do, I get more and more angry and also scared.
It is set out and presented in such an appealing and shiny way - all of the experience of advertisers and mass media marketing (which they decry as evil and immoral) has gone into it. And of course, all the young people pictured are very attractive in a non threatening kind of way.

 
At 17/5/06 10:37 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

Exactly. Prim, proper kids and flashy, MTV look to the site. Creepy as hell.

 
At 19/5/06 12:11 am, Anonymous modusoperandi said...

What really scares me is that, because of things like cable TV and the interweb, people can easily get information that confirms and supports their own bias.
For every CBC there's a Fox News, and for every Talkorigins.org there's an ICR.org.
Plus, since there's apparently money to be made pandering to bias a majority of the interwebs sites (both creationist and, um, heathen?) look professional and, therefore, authourities on whatever side of the line they happen to lean.

 
At 19/5/06 12:34 am, Anonymous modusoperandi said...

What really scares me is that, because of things like cable TV and the interweb, people can easily get information that confirms and supports their own bias.
For every CBC there's a Fox News, and for every Talkorigins.org there's an ICR.org.
Plus, since there's apparently money to be made pandering to bias, a majority of the interwebs sites (both creationist and, um, heathen?) look professional and, therefore, authourities on whatever side of the line they happen to lean.
I try to get both sides, but it's tough, as the creationists seem to ignore all of the other creation myths (oops, sorry. I mean creation theories) and their insistence on biblical inerrancy makes my brain hurt. If they'd take a step back they'd see that evolution and creation are only incompatible if you take a literal view of the bible. Of course that would be heresy (good thing I keep that pyre in my backyard. I knew I'd descent to heresy sooner or later). It would also require that they think for themselves...
It's nice to know that if you redefine words you can make anything true. Like how free now means you have to buy something first or when Marx called labour capital, theory has changed faith into science
You don't seem to pander here, but that's probably because you support my preconceptions. Also logic helps. Try following mine:
If the bible is true>then god is the god of the OT>the god of the OT is cruel, vain, bigoted, sexist & vicious. Therefore, damnation or otherwise, god isn't worth worship.
His kid is somewhat better but he's not in charge so, unless you're one of the 144,000 male Jewish virgins that the OT god said would get into heaven, you're up shit creek anyway

 
At 19/5/06 7:57 am, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

Yeah, it's odd to see "experts" that will go polar opposite routes to answer the same question. If people looked at, for example, ICR and TalkOrigin, they might see that some of the points made by ICR are argued and dealt with effectively - alternatively some of the points made on TalkOrigin can be looked at a different way from the creationist perspective (although not the scientific way).

 
At 19/5/06 9:22 am, Anonymous modusoperandi said...

Their answer to everything seems to boil down to, "god did it"; which is roughly equivalent to both, "I don't know." and, "Shut up." simultaneously.
Of course by god they mean their god, the one true god. One that apparently put fossils here to trick us, or played with radiometric dating to make 6,000 years appear to be 60,000,000 to trick us. Or scientists hate god and will do everthing that they can to trick us. The verbal gymnastics that they go through to avoid thinking make my brain hurt; plus they fail to realize that pointing out the missing links in evolution doesn't make creationism true, it just proves that there is more left to learn (and that the theory of evolution will continue to change as more is learned). Spooky how they still call it Darwin's theory of evolution, as though it hasn't changed enough over the years to become just, simply, the theory of evolution. It's almost like they're stuck in one single moment in time.
Wait, they are!
Luckily we'll have plenty of spare time in Aych Ee Double Hockey Sticks to discuss just how wrong we were...they'll be their too, trying to blame their damnation our secular humanism, gay marriage, not having the ten commandments outside (most) courthouses, etc and whatnot.
I still feel guilty that my minority is somehow oppressing their majority.
It could be worse, I could be in South Dakota (excuse my language, but how fucked up are they?).

 
At 19/5/06 9:44 am, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

Yep. Like Bill Hicks said,

"Does that bother anyone here? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? Anyone have trouble sleeping restfully with that thought in their head? God's running around burying fossils: "Ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now, ha ha! I'm a prankster God. I am killing me, ho ho ho!" You know? You die, you go to St. Peter:

"Did you believe in dinosaurs?"
"Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. (trapdoor opens) Aaaaarhhh!"
"You fuckin' idiot! Giant flyin' lizards? You're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!"
"It seemed so plausible, aaaaaahh!"
"Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!"

 

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