The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

I'm Back And This Time I'm Jesus.

I think I'm just going to say I'm Jesus.

Wouldn't that solve a bunch of stuff outright? All I'd have to do is convince the Xians that I'm their guy and then tell them to chill the fuck out. Since Jesus is also a prophet who led a sinless life in Islam, I could tell them that Allah told me to pass along a message: chill the fuck out. Drop that knowledge and then bickity bam, religious killings, wars, and general violence gets cut down to a quarter of what it is now.

I could talk to Penn & Teller and Criss Angel to get some bitchin' illusions under my belt so the religiosos would be on my side, then just get a cable show like Jesus on South Park to market myself. I'm sure once I prove myself I could get picked up and hit a major network. Fuck, Tom Green did and he jacked off a horse the first chance he got to make a movie - so what's the bottom limit on talent...really?

T-shirts could be made and sold to support my crusade (not the best word?) to reach every Xian on the planet and get them to chill. Once all the Jesus folk are placated, we move on the the Muslims. Heck, I'd even give the Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, and Jews a go. They might listen if they really believed, and with Angel on my side, I'd be cutting bitches in half and walking across swimming pools. You can't mess with that!

I'm going to have to start tomorrow.

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