The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Oh My God! They Killed al-Zarqawi! Those Bastards?

Watching the news today it was brought to my attention that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi got hisself blowed up. Excuse me while I don't shed a tear.

Seems just about everyone is happy about the death of this fucknugget. I'm only upset that he wasn't caught alive so he could be dipped in whatever it is that bees eat, then fed to thousands of hungry bees in a plexiglass case on pay-per view. I'd buy the show.

I am apparently different from the father of Nick Berg, one of the several people decapitated on video on the internet, allegedly by al-Zarqawi. Michael Berg said:

"I have no feelings of revenge...I would like these people to be stopped. I would like them to be arrested. I would like them to receive justice. I would not want to see any of them killed. And I don't want revenge. I don't want to personally attack those people."

It would be fantastic if we could just be all squishy and warm-fuzzyish about dealing with retarded religious fanatics who kidnap people and cut off their heads, but that's just not the reality. Crap...I keep bringing up reality to folks who believe in invisible people. Dammit.

Mr. Berg is, I guess, just a better man than me. If someone killed my son and then posted the murder on the internet, I would want a series of movie violence to be inflicted upon him. Allow me to indulge -

A hammer to the toes, á la Mel Gibson's Payback.
A beating similar to Joe Pesci in Casino.
Fed into a wood-chipper by a psychopath, just like Steve Buscemi in Fargo.

That would be all I ask and I don't think it would be too much. Those who oppose violence at every turn need to put down the daisies and realize that if we are to go on having lattes and driving hybrid Hummers and buying sneakers with wheels in the heel for our kids, sometimes we are going to have to blow up a giant douchebag and a bunch of his buddies.

Good riddance, al-Zarqawi. I only wish it had been the bees....

4 Barbaric Yawps:

At 9/6/06 3:27 pm, Anonymous modusoperandi said...

I'm pretty sure they'll cast John Rhys-Davies as him in the movie

At 11/6/06 9:41 am, Blogger Andrew said...

Alas you're right. Mr Berg is a better man than you

Juvenile revenge fantasies (you've watched too many movies) belong to juveniles.

Grow up and remember what your parents and grandparents had to forgive in the interests of the peace we now enjoy.

At 11/6/06 7:00 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...


Thanks for reading and feeling the need to act superior. It's great that you don't get humour - really, we need people like you around to make sure no one has too much fun.

I'm sure if a murderous psycho broke into your house and killed someone you loved, then got caught by authorities, you'd probably shake his hand and forgive him.

Don't judge me until you know me, which you never will because you seem like someone who chooses to kill laughter instead of lunatics.

Oh, and I'm not going to "grow up". Blow me.

At 11/6/06 11:26 pm, Anonymous modusoperandi said...

Grow up and remember what your parents and grandparents had to forgive in the interests of the peace we now enjoy.

Of course it took a couple of world wars to get the peace that we enjoyed...

Still, it would have been nice to capture him vice just blow some shit up (dead he's just a martyr)...and wasn't it al-Zarqawi who had the juvenile revenge fantasy?


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