The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Thursday Double Tap

Part the First

Pam Anderson took her clothes off in Stella McCartney's store window. That's the most entertaining part of what I'm about to write for this bit, so if you've already lost 1.4 hours on Barbed Wire, you might want to jump ahead.

Pammy said at the event, "...please start using fake fur...people see stars like J.Lo and Beyoncé wearing fur and they don't think about the cruelty that goes into it." Apparently Pam has never tried to stomach watching V.I.P. You'd have to be paralyzed and have your eyes clamped open like Malcolm in A Clockwork Orange to make it through to the first commercial break.

And why wear fake fur? Isn't that just perpetuating the fashion drive towards real fur anyway? You'd think Pam would push fashion towards more man-made fabrics and materials like, oh, silicone. (yeah, yeah, they're saline - but that doesn't work for the joke, assholes)

Another PeTA douchehat, Louise Redknapp, said, "If you can put a fur jacket on you should be able to watch the animal being slaughtered...." Right. So I should be able to watch an animal being killed for my chicken dinner, my steak on the BBQ, my leather jacket and belt, my fur coat (if I owned one), and my cousin's insulin. Well, I know this may shock Ms. Redknapp, but I'm perfectly ok with that. I'm not some sadistic fuck; I love animals but if I need to eat, something's gonna die.

When you look at a sheep or other similarly fuzzy creature, you may at first think to yourself, "wow - I bet that fuckin' thing is nice and warm when it's cold out!" Then you'd kill it and wear its skin and fur and go, "hm..maybe I should cook the meat and use the bones and make use out of as much as I can so it's not wasted - not like all that Hollywood money spent on SHITTY movies."

PeTA, Pam, and all the "celebrities" in attendance can go blow a goat. Supporting a silly-ass, hypocritical, terrorist supporting organization makes you a non-member of the humans, you damn dirty apes.

Part the Second

Oh the Vatican. Just the name brings to mind images of majesty and tradition, cathedrals, and men in dresses and funny hats. Really, they're a tribal beat and a few dozen sit-ups away from a gay pride parade (which brings up the question of why they hate the gays so much).

Anyhoo, today's fun comes courtesy of Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo who said that excommunication awaits any scientist who participates in embryonic stem cell research. "Alf", said to have long brownish hair, a distinctive long and ridged nose, and to enjoy eating cats, is reported to have told Famiglia Cristiana, "Excommunication applies to all women, doctors, and researchers who eliminate embryos".

Why not just excommunicate anyone who supports stem cell research as well? I mean, why dick around with just scientists when there's a TON of folks who are all in favor of finding cures for horrible diseases? Damn those people elongating life spans and bettering the human race with their "science"!

Actually, just excommunicate gays, people who support gay rights, anyone who uses contraception (especially those perverted hell-bound Africans), all safe-sex educators, anyone who has ever touched their own genitals, all scientists, all people who think for themselves, and anyone who has ever had a laugh at Klinger on M.A.S.H. (that transvestite gaywad).

Once all the excommunatin's done, it'll just be Pope Joey Ratz and Alf hangin' in St. Peter's Square trying to retain some semblance of regalty while deciding who's holier.

The church is so far from being any kind of "moral voice" that it's laughable. Enjoy your boy's club, jag-offs.

2 Barbaric Yawps:

At 30/6/06 2:45 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you totally except on one small point: insulin is now derived from genetic engineering techniques and is spliced into bacteria to manufacture it so no animals die from the process anymore (except maybe some E. coli, but who cares about them? Oh, and they're not technically considered animals, either.)

At 30/6/06 8:28 am, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

True enough - I was just going all "old school" on her ass (not that I want to get within 17 feet of her ass).

And yeah, like George Carlin said, "Life is sacred? Says who?" No one cries when cancer cells or, like you mention, E. coli get killed. They're bacteria, right? So technically they're alive, unlike virii which are in that fun neither-region between life and non-life. What a fun world we live in!


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