The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

"and he'll scrawl in blood, 'I've been a bad boy....'"

(edited because I wrote the initial post when I was half asleep)

"Anyone that far to the right is hiding a deep, dark secret. You know that right?" Bill Hicks

Ted, Ted, Ted.... You were accused of having sex with a Denver male prostitute while on meth, then you denied it all, then you admitted "some wrongdoing", then you admitted to buying - but not using - the meth and getting a "massage", but never gay sex. What a sordid affair.

When I saw Pastor Ted Haggard being interviewed by Richard Dawkins in his Religion: The Root of All Evil special, he came across as a complete douchebag. Pompus, arrogant, accusatory, and with all the airs of moral superiority that cums (excuse me, "comes") with extreme religiousityness...ess. I didn't like the guy.

When I went to his site and checked out what he believed, I really didn't like the guy. He believes that "In its original writing, the Bible is inspired, infallible and inerrant", and that folks like me will have this fate in store: "After living one life on earth, the unbelievers will be judged by God and sent to hell where they will be eternally tormented with the devil and the fallen angels." Nice. Thanks, Ted. How about you suck my...actually, just shut the fuck up.

And what does Ted think about homosexuality?

He seems to think everything we need to know about it is written in the bible. Hm. Well the bible says that:

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus - 20:13 and,

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. Paul - 1:26-27 Supposedly this passage is about lesbians. Mmmm...lesbians.

So homosexuals should be put to death right alongside those nasty disobedient children (Deut. 21:18-21) and strangers who work on the Sabbath (Num. 15:32-36). Maybe Ted'll be the replacement for Jesse Helms in Bill Hicks' story, killing himself "in a washtub out back underneath a pecan tree." But I hope not.

See, if you're gay then you should just admit it and be gay. There's nothing wrong with being a guy dude (unless you take the bible as literal tru...shit...sorry). Taking meth, well that's potentiall harmful to you but there's nothing wrong with that as far as I can see. If you want to do it, fill your sparkly cowboy boot, friend. There's plenty to go around, I'm sure.

It's so ironic that you preach the gospel of Christ (or so you say) and you would likely describe Christians as "loving", "tolerant", "giving", and probably, "benevolent"; yet if you came out as gay or bi, that community would be FAR more accepting of you than your congregation would ever be. It never ceases to amaze me.

You haven't been charged with a crime and quite frankly I don't think the drug thing will stand up. You didn't molest a kid or run anyone over, the worst you've done is get high on meth and fuck a gay male prostitute. How many of us can say, honestly, that we've never done that?! Ok, bad example, but you should still hold your head up, or at least proudly bob it forward and back.

Now that you've stepped down as the head, of the NAE (National Association of Evangelicals) I'm sure there will be another "certain-of-the-fire-for-heathenous-non-believers" person to take the reins. Fabulous.

Ted, you're a douchebag Xtian dumbass, but personally I don't think you did anything wrong with respect to this incident. Go on and suck a dick while doing meth - it's your life. Just let us live ours.

4 Barbaric Yawps:

At 4/11/06 11:32 pm, Anonymous ATM said...

I can't say I'm particularily surprised. Maybe this experience will dull his sanctimonius self-righteousness, but I doubt it.

Oh, and don't forget that Kent Hovind has also been found guilty of tax evasion. Two down...

At 5/11/06 10:31 am, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

Hooray! I'm only saddened by the fact that I *know* there'll be more douchebags to take their places and no one will catch on to the pattern.

Well, maybe they will.

At 6/11/06 2:04 am, Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

I just love it when they are hoisted on their own petard. ( Pun included.)

At 15/11/06 4:51 pm, Blogger salomedesade said...

Ted Haggard. I've been meaning to post something about him, but haven't had the time. Has he ever heard of Jim Bakker or Jimmy Swaggart? These self-righteous church types always reveal their *gasp* human nature eventually.


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