The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Dumbest Fuck on the Planet, Thy Name is Douchepak

Yeah, I know, seriously, why the fuck even bother? This guy is so full of shit that if you went to the cow farm that supplies McDonalds with hamburger and emptied out the manure trough for sixty-seven weeks straight, you would probably come within 10 litres of the volume of shit that Douchepak spews per fortnight.

As everyone I'm sure knows, Douchepak has an ongoing, never-fucking-ending series of posts attempting to deconstruct Richard Dawkins' book The God Delusion. He's currently up to seven goddamn useless, annoying, blathering, fucking nonsensical entries in what appears to an attempt to enter the Horse-shit Hall of Fame.

There is no point in taking these apart because it has been done much better than I could ever do by both Orac and PZ. That being said, however, Douchepak said possibly the most fucked up, asinine, ignorant, and helmet-headed thing I have ever had the displeasure of setting my vision on, and you may share my pain now:
Why is the universe so amazingly hospitable to human life?

So, to this former M.D. and spiritual guru of the ages, the universe is "amazingly hospitable" to us. Not to life, but specifcally to human life.

I recently mentioned that I have been watching the Beyond Belief conference, and one section by Neil deGrasse Tyson (an astrophysicist and director of the Hayden Planetarium) describes an extremely accurate rebuttal to Chumpra's wind-chime and whale-song laden vomitous written excretions. Allow me to summarize what Tyson said...and I must summarize because I'm too fucking lazy to put the amount of effort it would take to transcribe the speech at this time and, quite frankly, Douchepak isn't worth the effort. Plus, I'm too much of a techno-tard to know how to lift the pertinent section of video and paste it here for you to view.

Tyson said that the fallacy of a "life-friendly" universe persists against all evidence. You can't survive anywhere we've seen so far in the universe other than here. You'd either burn up, blow up, or be crushed to death under gravitational forces. You might be stretched into an infinitely thin strip of information and be passed through a black hole. Perhaps you'd get incinerated by a radiation wave. There are a multitude of ways for you to bite the fuckin' bullet when you're out floating around in the blackness, away from any sort of breathable atmosphere. And that brings us back to Earth:

Even here you can't survive at the altitude of airliners for very long before your lungs and brain bubble up and kill you. You can't live under the water, which eliminates about 65 - 70% of the surface of our planet (which is why it's described as a "blue-green" ball, and not a "green-blue" ball). The salt water can't be ingested without filtration. A lot of the animals here would kill and eat you just as soon as look at your prana-parading a-hole. You certainly would have to be a special sorta person to live at either pole, where it's so cold your piss would freeze before it hit the tundra you'd collapse on soon afterwards. There are deserts here that are so dry you'd suck a camel's cock for water content.

After you take into consideration all these things, Douchepak still seems to think that the universe is "amazingly hospitable" to human life. What a fuckin' jerkoff.

5 Barbaric Yawps:

At 6/12/06 12:39 pm, Blogger Bruce said...

After you take into consideration all these things, Douchepak still seems to think that the universe is "amazingly hospitable" to human life.

Maybe we could jettison him into space and he could show us just how hospitable the universe really is.

The only reason he is so popular with so many people is because he gives the moderate/liberal Christians an excuse to go on believing because Douchepak says that religion and science can peacefully coexist and are mutually supportive of each other. People are so eager to hold onto their beliefs that they will eat this shit up like it was candy. If this is the type of crap they are buying, then their faith must be pretty weak.

At 6/12/06 8:03 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a fuckin' moron! Yeah, the universe sure is hospitible to humans, tell that to the family who's dad's body was just hauled out of the Oregon woods. Oh, and while they're at it, maybe explain why all those prayers went unanswered. People all over the country were 'sending their hopes and prayers', and so God sweeps in to save the day two weeks before Christmas..not. I feel sick...

At 7/12/06 12:34 am, Anonymous Melissa said...

the universe is "amazingly hospitable" to human life.

Wow. That truly is the most ignorant thing I've heard in a long time.

You know, I've got a couple of Chopra VHS tapes in my posession, lent to me by someone long ago, who has totally forgotten she ever had them... I'm thinking about donating them to James Randi's library.

At 7/12/06 11:30 am, Blogger salomedesade said...

Douchepak versus Richard Dawkins: a pseudospiritualist versus an intellectual giant. I think we know who the winner is here.

At 8/12/06 8:57 am, Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

"Why is the universe so amazingly hospitable to human life?"

Just how many galaxies has this dude been to?

Oooops, I forgot, when he refers to "universe" he means one little planet on the outer rim..

And when he refers to "life", he obviously means primarily "human life."

What an unmitigated arsehole.


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