The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Whew

All moved in to the new digs and ready to start up again with this "blogging" thing I've heard so much about. Life is good, but I'm still pissed about a lot of crap so there are people (and they know who they are - Kevin Trudeau, John Edwards, Sylvia, purveyors of bullshit; I'm talkin' to you) who need to watch the fuck out for the pointed end of my forked tongue.

Bastards.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hey, These Wings are Both for the Right....

Man, I can't stand religious people....

I’m reading about the Conservative victory in our election last night and from Bob Morrison, a fundie Christian leader from the American “Family Research Council”, we get this lovely quote: "We are glad to see that Canadians have values-voters too…”

What the fuck are “value-voters”? Is that to say that people who voted for the Liberals or NDP or Green or whoever, have no worthwhile values? The inherent superiority within that one sentence pisses me off so much that I can barely contain it. So the only “values” worth voting for are ultra-conservative Christian ones? The “value" of discriminating against minorities by denying them basic human rights? The “value” of withholding medical procedures from those who require them based on the twisted thinking that a partially formed fetus has more right to life than a fully-grown woman, wife, mother, or daughter? If those are your values, you want a theocracy – and there are several countries we can point to as role models: Iraq, Afghanistan (under the Taliban), Vatican City…

Just to show how weirdy this “Family Research Council” is, here is their number one “core value” (taken from their website here:)

God exists and is sovereign over all creation. He created human beings in His image. Human life is, therefore, sacred and the right to life is the most fundamental of political rights.

You know, just because you say something is true, doesn’t make it so. “God exists…” is an opinion, and a lot of us don’t give a fuck about yours. You make a claim, you prove it to be true, otherwise you are talking out your ass. “He” didn’t create humans. Unless you can prove that, shut your hole. And if you point to the damn bible as proof, I’m going to point to a nice recipe for Cajun Shrimp and explain the deep metaphysical, spiritual, and societal meanings found within, as planted by the All-Seeing, All-Knowing Shrimp Lord. Makes the same amount of sense.

Of course, another of their “core values” is:

Government has a duty to promote and protect marriage and family in law and public policy.

This is the “we hate fags” value. You might as well join up with Fred Phelps right now, because to anyone with a brain, this is just hate-speech dressed in chiffon.

If Stephen Harper is liked by these assholes, I’m scared for the future of Canada.

Change of Government

So last night the Conservatives won a minority government here in Canada. Stephen Harper is the new Prime Minister and now has to start fulfilling the promises he made on the campaign trail. I'm sure the meeting after the victory sounded like Will Smith and Jeff Goldbloom in Independance Day:

New Finance Minister to Harper - "You sure you can fly this thing?"
Harper - "You sure you can do all that shit I promised?"

A grand state of affairs. They are, at this moment, laughing like Sideshow Bob after his election. I am not optimistic about the debates that will follow in the House. I'm sure the reduction of the GST will be done, but I also have a feeling that abortion will come up and then a revisit of the same-sex marriage decision.

At least it's a minority and the Cons can be held in check by the NDP and Libs. Hell, even the Bloc and the one independant has sway. Imagine the power that little fucker will have in a tight vote....

And now I go smolder and try to sift through boxes.

Election Day

Fuck.
Saying, "Prime Minister Stephen Harper" makes me want to throw up in my mouth just a little bit.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Moving

My wife and I are in the middle of moving this week so posting will be light for the next 8 or 9 days. As soon as I get the internet up and running in the new home, I'll be back to the normal posting schedule of every day or so.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

The Gecko Brothers and Religion

I was thinking today about the difference between fundamentalist religious freaks and moderate religious people like most of the folks out there. It occured to me that the difference is quite similar to the difference between Seth and Richard Gecko in the movie From Dusk 'Til Dawn. If you haven't seen this movie, go rent it, watch it, then come back to this commentary. Go ahead, I'll wait. Seriously, go.

Back? Ok, so Seth is the moderate. He's a thief, but you trust him most of the time as long as you don't get in his way. He's much like a religious person who believes weird things, but generally gets through life without a ton of controversy. You might even be friends, but when push comes to shove, he has a very very skewed view of right and wrong. He'll do anything to avoid punishment including condemning random people to death.

Richard, on the other hand, is psychotic. He's certifiable. He sees things that aren't real, he acts on his delusions, and the results are devastating. He coldly rapes and murders an innocent hostage, then blames her for the crime when his brother asks questions. This is exactly like fundamentalist crazies who imagine the "man in the sky" is telling them to kill everyone different, then they act. Whether it's a backpack bomb, snipers shooting doctors, planes into buildings, or cars packed with explosives, it's all based on the insane visions of a few crazy people who saw shit that wasn't there.

This is why the moderates are just as bad as the fundies. Obviously Pat Buchanan and the Taliban and all the other literalists are absolutely insane, but the moderates apologize for them and allow them to continue on. Like Seth who yells at Richard after the rape/murder, then tells him it will all be ok once they get to "El Ray", Christians say that murder in the name of the bible is bad, but when asked to renounce the book, they make excuses. "It's got good stuff in it", is the answer.

In the movie, the Gecko brothers are both thieves and bad guys. In the real world, religion is silly and causes people to make stupid decisions at least and kill people at worst. Either way, it's bad and needs to go.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

China Weighs in on ID

Take a look at this and have a bit of a read. China is certainly not the poster country for tolerance by any stretch of the imagination, but this article shows that they are critical of ideas with no backing. China, of course, has a horrible record of abusing and imprisoning people who don't believe the party line on faith (or lack thereof) and shows how a country can go too far the other way towards state-sponsored atheism. This is not the type of society to which any rational person would aspire.

Apart from this, however, the article does have its points. Basically a recap of recent events in the U.S. of late (Dover, in particular), the author does indicate that holes in a theory do not immediately cause it to fall apart. To paraphrase what Dr. Eugenie Scott said, the biblical literalists take every word of the bible as truth, so if one bit is proven false, it all is thrown into question. They treat science the same way, but science doesn't work like that.

It's nice to see another country saying that "Intelligent" Design is silly religious tripe, even if it is a country whose government tortures and imprisons people based on their beliefs. China is far from perfect, but don't think they are out of good ideas. Like I say about Gov. Bush when he does something vaguly correct or appropriate, "even a broken watch is right twice a day."

P.S. - I'm taking an HTML course so expect this page to start looking a bit different as I play around and such.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

More Dawkins

Aside from posting the link to the Richard Dawkins video clip and audio, I wanted to comment on how nice it is to be able to listen to someone with Prof. Dawkins' creds questioning religious people. Some of them seem to know they don't have a leg to stand on and just revert to the child-like state of "well, it says so in the Bible so I believe it." It's like the episode of Penn and Teller's Bullshit about religion when they ask people on the street questions and when they get to, "could the story of Noah's Ark be true with all those animals and the flood?", this woman just keeps repeating, "Anything's possible."

Well, no, actually, anything is not possible. It's not possible that I will fly up from my chair and casually view the room from my new airborne vantage point. It's not possible that when I drop an egg on the kitchen floor, that it will bounce back together and become a nice, fluffy angora sweater. My mind just about melts when grown adults say to me that "anything's possible".

Dawkins talks to a moderate priest who is ok with gay marriage, but still believes in the ressurrection of Jebus. Like Sam Harris, Dawkins says that this is an intellectually dishonest position for either faith or reason and should be rejected outright. This is the reason that moderate belief is just as dangerous, if not more so, than fundamentalism; because moderate retardness apologizes and makes excuses for extreme retardness.

We need more shows like this on the television, the radio, and the internet. Getting the rational, reasonable, normal message out to the masses is the best way to make the population see how ludicrous religious ideas actually are. I hope this two-part show will be made available on DVD for purchase...

Microsoft to Religion - "Suck it."

I'm becoming quite the fan of Bill Gates. Microsoft recently reinstated its support of gay rights and is introducing legislation to ban discrimination against gays and lesbians. Some other companies are involved as well such as Boeing, HP, and Nike. Gates did this in the face of religious contempt. Hear hear.

Of course, religion is not down with that whole "inclusion" thing. A douchebag reverend in Washington state named Ken Hutcherson is calling for a boycott of Microsoft because, well, it's what Jesus would do (or something equally retarded). I bet he wears a WWJD bracelett. I always thought those were pretty faggy...

You can always count on religion to bring up the rear in civil progress. Ignorant motherfuckers have, for years and years, used the Bible, the Koran, the Torah and whatever other "man in the sky" book you can think of to justify keeping minorities repressed and to ostracize people who are different. What annoys me to no end these days is that these slope-browed miscreants all belong to groups like "Focus on the Family" or the "Traditional Values Coalition" - groups that sound like you'd want to belong to them. But when you meet the Christian Seig Heil Nation that runs them, you realize that they are looking for religious purity throughout the country, nay, the world!

Ignoring them is not an option. We must stand up to them and call them on their stupid bullshit in public forums. We must do it so people see the smoke and mirrors of religious belief for what they are - dangerous and in bad need of being run out of town.

Dawkins Pt. 2

Richard Dawkins is my hero.

Monday, January 16, 2006

UFC Fight in May

This is a slight departure in my blogging, but it has just been announced that the current Ultimate Fighting welterweight Champion, Matt Hughes, will be fighting the original champ, Royce Gracie in May. I'm quite excited about this prospect as I have not seen Gracie fight in a long time and Hughes is an amazing mixed martial artist.

For anyone who has followed the evolution of no-holds barred (NHB) fighting, the Gracie name is synonymous with the Octagon. Up to about UFC seven or eight, the fights were all pretty good with quality athletes like Ken Shamrock, Patrick Smith, Gerard Gordeau among many others. Then the organizers seemed to start just wanting bloody messes so they put big guys against little guys in "David and Goliath" type events and it sucked. I remember one particular fight with Arn Anderson against some big guy whose "fighting style" was "SAFTA" or Scientific Aggressive Fighting Techniques of America", or something stupid like that. I tuned out for a while.

Then I noticed that new management took over and introduced weight classes and some new, "user friendly" rules. I started to watch again and was not disappointed. New stars were reigning in their divisions, winning with techniques rather than sloppy smashing. There was much less bragging and trash-talking (I couldn't stand David "Tank" Abbott and enjoyed seeing him get his ass kicked by anyone with actual fighting talent) and the promoter put together tight events.

Now that NHB is mainstream with several organizations - King of the Cage, The UFC, Pancrase, and in a different way, K-1 - it is easier to watch and get my fill. When Spike TV started up I thought it would be a quick flame, burning brightly and then going away, much like Chappelle's Show. Now that it has been around and has picked up the UFC package, I'm a very happy man. Just wanted to share that and urge people who like boxing to give NHB a chance if you haven't already.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled skeptical anti-religious ranting and bitching...

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Crazy Ol' Mahmoud

Great, now he’s trying to start a nuclear war.

Iranian Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said recently that his government would end all voluntary cooperation with the United Nations if they were brought before the Security Council regarding their nuclear program. Doesn’t that sound like the fat kid taking his ball and going home because he got caught cheating? It would be funny as watching John Ashcroft eat a moose-ball burger on Fear Factor if only the “ball” wasn’t a fucking nuclear missile.

As I’ve said before, Ahmadinejad, is certifiable. Check out this quote from a conversation with a mullah about his address to the United Nations General Assembly:

"One of our group told me that when I started to say 'Bismillah Muhammad', he saw a green light come from around me, and I was placed inside this aura…I felt it myself. I felt the atmosphere change, and for those 27 or 28 minutes, all the leaders of the world did not blink. When I say they didn't move an eyelid, I'm not exaggerating. They were looking as if a hand was holding them there."

Wow. He was inside a green aura. Also, it seems sorta like time stood still or something. Anyone else reminded of X-Men? I think Ahmadinejad might just be Dr. Charles Xavier minus the badass wheelchair; or at least he wants to be Xavier but needs an ICBM to do the job.

Seriously though, a green aura? That’s the best you can do? If I was trying to be an international psychopath I’d leave that UFO shit at home and be handing out business cards printed on the sculpted scapulae of nine year-old Ugandan child soldiers. You want horrified faces, that’ll do it, friend.

Not that it’s a shock that Ahmadinejad is crazy – that’s been the word ‘round the water cooler for quite some time. He was allegedly a gifted torturer and interrogator under Khomeini and executed dissidents for him. Fantastic. He wants a world Muslim state and is a super-extreme, right wing, freaky-deaky Islam nut. And let’s not forget about the “wipe Israel off the map” comment and the whole “Holocaust is a myth” bit he loves so much.

If I were a praying man, I’d pray that Ahmadinejad rolls his ankle on a piece of rubble and lands on an unexploded mine, blowing him apart such that his head lands on his own lap in a compromising position. No martyr’s death for him. Of course, I’m not a praying man because that’s just silliness, but I can hope. And hope I shall.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Whew!

Well, I am out of from under my bed where I spent the duration of Friday the 13th. I shook and shivered, dreaming of the evils of indoor, open umbrellas and traipsing under stepladders. My cat is mostly black and yesterday, I was exceedingly afraid of him. Imagine if he crossed my path! We live in an apartment, for cheese'sake! It was inevitable! Don't you care that I could have been cursed and shortened my life span?

Jumpin' beans...how retarded can people get? Afraid of a date on the calander? I mean, we got some crappy news yesterday (we owe some money we hadn't forseen), and I can hear the freaks now: "See! It's real! Bad things happen on the 13th! You have first-hand proof!"

Not really, you helmeted, blended-food eater. Bad things happen every day, you just take note of them when they happen on a Friday the 13th and remember. Try to think of all the bad crap that happened in your life - when a relative died, when you got your heart broken, when the fetal monitor wasn't functioning and your brain was starved of oxygen during your birth causing the brain damage and subsequent asinine beliefs you espouse...sorry, that last one is probably too early to remember for you. I bet it wasn't on a 13th though, Friday or otherwise.

So to all you triskaidekaphobic folks out there, ease up. Yes, 13 is one past the magic twelve (twelve months in a year, twelve signs of the zodiac, twelve fingers on your freakish hand). It is one more than the twelve disciples of Jebus, hence it's the first number past rightousness and first on the road to Evil. But our socitey is based on the number ten (easy to add and multiply, base of the metric system, ten inches to my imaginary penis), so eleven should be unlucky as well, which it is if you're Palestinian (I made that up based on a single web-page reference, which is more than many use to make up silly shit you believe).

Stop living under the bed, go live your life. "Unlucky" things don't exist. Go right ahead and open an umbrella indoors while walking under a stepladder and flipping off Jebus in the Sky. If you get struck by lightening after that, I'll pay your medical bills.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Running of the Hajj

Let's say my friend decided to wear a white two-piece robe, then declared out loud that he was in the service of some invisible being, then spent a whole day standing and talking to that same invisible person. He then gathered 49 stones (not 48, unless thou then continue to 49; not 50...51 is right out) and carried them with him. He threw seven of the stones at white pillars and, later that day, bought a goat, giving its meat to poor folks. Then he took off his white robe and shaved his head. Seven more stones at each of the three pillars (they represent the Devil, don'tcha know) and then off to walk around a black rock in the desert seven times, talking to the invisible person the whole time. Finally, he ran (walked briskly, actually) between two hillocks seven times.

Never mind that all this weird shit makes no sense whatsoever to a rational person, once again while nearly 2.5 million people performed this retardness, another 345 people were killed in a stampede trying to get to the "Devil Pillars". Nearly 80 Hajj pilgrims were killed just days ago in the collapse of a hostel near Mecca. So, altogether over 430 people are dead because of religion. I hope that goat tastes really really good.

And it's not like this is the first year the Hajj has experienced deaths. In 1990, a stampede crushed to death 1426 people and there were stampede deaths in 1994, 1998, 2001, and 2004. You'd think someone would have caught on and, I don't know, increased the space or initiated some friggin' crowd control. If you have to believe in nonsensical bullshit, at least be safe about it.

It kills me that supposedly no violent or sexual acts are to take place during Hajj rituals. This is probably like summer camp for Muslims. I'm sure there's some nookie going on - a bunch of shaven-headed men and scantily clad women (ok, they're wearing one-piece white robes...that's scant clothing for a Muslim woman) all together in the desert being "one with Allah" and stuff. There's probably no "wet robe contests", but I'm sure something's going on. Oh, and I'd consider a stampede where thousands of people crush to death hundreds of others so they can throw fucking rocks at a stone pillar that's supposed to be the damn Devil, a violent act. Isn't there a punishment for breaking the Hajj "no violence" rule? How about chilling the hell out with the suicide bombing for a hundred years or so?

How many times do I have to say that religion is dangerous and has to go away?

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Career Miscalculation Tale

I am a self-employed massage therapist, which you'd know if you read my little bio thingy. I try to be a writer as well, but so far, no bills are getting paid by my hitting the keys daily. My wife and I just bought a house - actually, let me put that more accurately - my wife bought a house. When we went to get approved for a morgage, the agent said, "Well, you qualify easily for the amount you're requesting."

"Great!", I said.

He says, "Let me rephrase that: Ma'am, you qualify for the morgage. Sir, you couldn't buy an igloo in India. You'd be lucky to be able to afford a popsicle-stick house made by a retard at a county craft fair. You have made several major work-related life errors in your day. You should get some tattoos, buy a squeegee and a dog, and hit the streets, friend. That or do a bunch of sit-ups and look into gay porn."

Afterwards, my buddy tells me of a rub-n-tug place near where I live. Seriously, my buddy. Ok, a little bird told me. An arrow flew in my window with a note attached. A bottle with a map was floating in my bath-tub when I got up today...just pick a lie and stick to it. So I'm checking the place out online (some people take smoke breaks....) and I see that they have something called a "nude reverse massage". This is where the customer, for $100 per half hour, gets to massage a naked chick. I thought, "man, did I go to the wrong massage school, or what?!" At my clinic, I do the massaging, like a chump, on semi-naked women. Granted, I've never professionally tweaked a nipple. I have also never six-packed a woman...you know, professionally. I also have not given a dude a hand-job. One thing you must know about men is that if they're not gay, callused, lumberjacky hands probably won't work. The guy most likely won't "arrive", as they say. Happily, there went my career as a nude massage girl.

Women would never pay to massage a guy. Never. No woman would spend her money - a hundred dollars for half an hour! - to massage some hairy dude. Imagine the insults hurled at the guy! "Why do you have the back of a wookie but the dick of an ewok?" "What sort of satanic, cross-species inbreeding accident are you the result of?" "Dr. Moreau called - he wants you back on the island by sunset."

It only makes me want to find a way to earn more money. If women are making a hundred dollars per half hour to get massaged (that annoys me just writing it), I can make money somehow. I'll keep you posted.

P.S. - Almost at a thousand hits! Thanks and I hope you keep enjoying.

Dawkins' The God Delusion pt. 1

Over at One Good Move, they have posted a short video clip from Richard Dawkins' new show, The God Delusion. The also have the full audio of part one which is more than worth a listen.

It's nice to see someone calling religious people on their claims. When pastor Ted Haggard, a psycho of the grandest order, accuses Dawkins and science of having an "intellectual arrogance", it is hard not to laugh. Who, exactly is being arrogant here? On one side we have Dawkins saying that science changes, keeps pace with new information, and is, by its nature, tentative. Haggard, conversely, is saying that he has the answers in his book, which is "inspired, infallible, and inerrant" (from his site here).

This guy was on the Barbara Walters Heaven special and came across as a fundie psycho then, saying that "there's no guarantee" that non-believers get into Heaven. Of course, being "born again" is that guarantee and if you don't want to burn in the lake of fire, you better do your first few seconds over again. Nothing like a little spiritual blackmail to make your morning go smoothly, eh?

The Muslim freak was even scarier. Dawkins said that in his naive state, he thought a convert would be more reasonable, but I would think that a muslim convert would be all the more convinced of what he/she believes. This unreasonable assclown actually said, "...there will come a day, and that day is now, when you're on our land, spreading these ideas, when the soldiers of Allah will not put up with this." Sounds like a threat to me.

What is so scary about ideas? This guy sounds like those dipshits in the States like Fred Phelps who hate homosexuals so much they picket the funerals of gays. What are they afraid of? Is being an atheist or a homosexual so attractive to people that even exposure to the ideals or lifestyle will instantly convert a Muslim away from their grovelling or a Southern Baptist to sodomy and raves? Is the way of life for a Muslim so horrible and unfulfilling that being around an atheist would crumble their view of the world and cause them to renounce their faith in favour of godless heathenism and the betterment of the lives of his/her family, friends, and community? Sounds good to me; send in the Atheist Missionaries!

I also liked the "teapot analogy" of Bertrand Russell's that Dawkins used. I, apparently, have not become well-read in my nine years as an outed atheist and rationalist as I had never heard of this bit before. It shall be put into my quiver and pulled out when needed. Hellbound Alleee's comments on the audio (her link is also to the right) program are worth reading as it is nice to hear a female's view on the psychosis of the Muslim radicals.

Again, the call must go out - religion is bad and must go away.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Frey'd at the Ends

I first heard of James Frey's book A Million Little Pieces from a good friend of mine. She said it was an amazing read that she couldn't put down; well written in a different style, and it was a true story!. I thought the cover art was pretty cool and when I read the first page of her copy, I thought I'd pick it up. That and a new bottle of cake decorations. I didn't because of a lack of fundage and, well, I'm reading three books now so I wasn't in a rush to start a new one. Plus those cake decorations are rather fattening and I'm trying to become more svelt and appealing.

Today I was at The Huffington Post and saw a link saying "Was Oprah duped by her best-selling book club author?" and had to check it out. Anytime Oprah looks silly, I'm all about reading it. The link took me here. I'm such a fan of The Smoking Gun site and they seem to have really done their homework here. It's a six-page read, but they take Frey apart quite nicely, to the point where you really can't doubt what they produce.

Obviously, the work done by TSG does nothing to diminish how good the book is as a work of fiction based on a true story, but Frey presents the tale as pure non-fiction. The bit about the train accident is particularily unsettling in how he uses it to his advantage to portray himself as sympathetic. The guy seems to be a decent writer, but he may just have delusions of being a badass. And of course it's going to be a movie. Of course it is. He's going to ride the wave of publicity and being called out as a fraud will only make the book more in demand - hell, look at Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code. That got endless critiques from a wide variety of professionals and all it did was make the book sell better. Now Dan Brown, and soon enough, James Frey, will wipe their asses with hundred dollar bills wraped in letters critical of how they wrote their books.

I made a serious vocational error somewhere along the way....

More Dumbass Religious Crap

Today I read an article article in the paper where an Islamic cleric, a former Dean from the faculty of Sharia law at Al-Azhar University in Cairo named Rashad Hassan Khalil, issued a fatwa which said, “…being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage.”

Of course, there is debate in the Islamic world about this view. Some other religious people dismiss the fatwa and one went so far as to say, “(N)othing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy.” Yeah, gotta stay away from that ass. That’s where you can catch Gay. Not too many Islamic folks want to suffer from a scathing case of the Gay.

So if Mr. Khalil’s fatwa is to be obeyed, Egypt’s Muslims could be a nation of Glory Hole sex adherents. No nakedness whatsoever, dammit. Use a blanket to shield your body from your wife/husband when you have sex. This law, quite frankly, is the one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read.

The Koran also says if you have touched a woman and are now “dirty”, go rub your hands in some “clean dirt” and you’re good. (Sura 4:43) Touching a woman makes you dirty? Who the fuck came up with that? Could this religion be more backward?

Don’t think I’m just razzing on Islam for being retarded. Hell, the Damn Bible can’t answer the basic damn question of where Cain’s wife came from. Some say that he married his sister after Adam had more kids with Eve during his last 130 years of life. That means that cavemen who died routinely before they were thirty had people before them who lived more than four times as long? And that means that everyone on Earth is related by blood. Everyone. The gay folks you hate so much, the Jewish, Islamic, Hindu, and Animists are all your cousins, 44 times removed? Please.

Mormonism is so stupid that it doesn’t ever warrant a mention. “Seeing stones” and “gold tablets” buried in America; as I once heard Joe Rogan say, “an eight year old retarded kid could poke holes in that story.” South Park did a nice job of skewering the history of this “religion” so check that out if you feel the urge.

They’re all silly to the point of being embarrassing. Show me something, anything, to back up your “word of god” and maybe I’ll take you more seriously. Until then, suck it.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Another Awesome Rant

From the folks at Fuck Christmas comes a brand new rant here.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Clarence Ray Allen

On January 17, 2006, Clarence Ray Allen will be executed in California. He will be 77 years old. Just in case you feel sorry for him, here's what a judge said about a recent appeal:

Evidence of Allen's guilt is overwhelming. Given the nature of his crimes, sentencing him to another life term would achieve none of the traditional purposes underlying punishment. Allen continues to pose a threat to society, indeed to those very persons who testified against him in the Fran's Market triple-murder trial here at issue, and has proven that he is beyond rehabilitation. He has shown himself more than capable of arranging murders from behind bars. If the death penalty is to serve any purpose at all, it is to prevent the very sort of murderous conduct for which Allen was convicted. (
from wikipedia)

In my humble opinion, Clarence Ray Allen deserves to die. Just like Stanley Williams before him, the fact that he's a scumbag doesn't outweigh the fact that he's now old and blind and in a wheelchair for a lot of soft-hearted folks. My view is that he committed horrible crimes for which he has not paid, and now the American taxpayers are buying him dinner and new tires for his chair. You break society's rules like he did, you don't get to live with us anymore.

Also, where is Jamie Foxx now? Where's the Rev. Jesse Jackson? It's an old Indian-heritage white guy, not a black man, so the protesters are lost in the sidestreets and off making movies or rap albums. Shouldn't Snoop Dogg be outside San Quentin saying something? Nope. Hope that "racist" charge they were lobbing at the justice system wasn't printed on a boomerang, because it certainly looks like it's circling back to smack them right in the face. "What? That death-row inmate wasn't nominated for a Nobel Peace prize? He's white? Well he can't further our agenda, cancel the protest."

I'm happy and I think Allen is getting what he deserves. Foxx, Rev. Jackson, Snoop, and the rest need to rethink their motivation.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Captain Obvious Speaks

Well, here is yet another article I read that states that scientists have come out against retarded "alternative" medicine. If you have the taste of magnetism in your mouth, check the article out here.

I read Robert Parks' book Voodoo Science and one thing he said is that most people seem to choose what science they believe in the same way they decide to be Catholic or Baptist. It's just what makes the most sense to them at the time. So goes the magnetism bit - magnets attract iron, we can see that displayed by any 5 year old who visited the Science Centre. There's iron in your blood, so why wouldn't magnets attract blood to the area and, you know, heal stuff?

Makes sense if you have no idea about blood. See, the iron in blood is chemically bonded to hemoglobin thus rendering it non-magnetic. If blood were attracted to magnets, getting an MRI would be a lethal procedure and that bit in X-Men where Mystique injects the skin-hound guard with iron, then Magneto pulls his blood out of his body, would be feasible (if there were mutants with super powers kicking around...damn reality).

I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as "alternative medicine". There's medicine that works and medicine that is unproven or doesn't work. Magnet "therapy" is one of those that doesn't work at all. Penn and Teller's Bullshit did a nice job of exposing the weirdness of this particular health fetish. Speaking of fetish, I wonder why flogging, nipple clamps, or bondage have never been touted by frauds as having healing powers? Hell, at least that would be mildly entertaining. I'd pay $14 to see Kevin Trudeau beaten with a paddle, electrically shocked, then get a cigarette put out on his eye.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Comics Rule

In a world of 24 hour "news" and so-called "hard edged" shows on television, why is it that comics are the ones who consistently tell people to suck bollocks? Whether it's Jon Stewart's now classic skull-fucking of Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala on Crossfire, or David Letterman's all-too-easy skewering of right-wing paste-eater Bill O'Reilly ("I have the feeling about sixty percent of what you say is crap."...fantastic) recently, it's usually the funny folks who are outing all the weirdos and puffed shirt paper tigers.

How many times has The Daily Show been so on-point with a criticism that it was both hilarious and sad? Too many to mention. When was George Carlin not absolutely correct in his assessment of religion (his re-writing of the Ten Commandments was amazing in its simplicity)? Bill Maher, for all his lunatic anti-vaccination and PETA retardness, said that religion was a mental disorder. We're at a point in North American media history where the "reporters" are being usurped by great bloggers and guys who used to do puppet work and tell dick and fart jokes. Sometimes still do.

Bill Hicks once said that fundamentalism breeds people with no humour. He was right. They can't take a joke about their weird-ass beliefs and will, in certain instances, try to kill you if you do. Pointing out the stupidity of a position so everyone else laughs at you puts you in a very defensive place; but people have to be willing to abandon a ludcrious set of beliefs. That's where religion, and particularly fundamentalism, is far away from rationality.

Let reason have a central position in society, and make sure there's an Improv next door.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The Start of a Just World?

Dateline: Italy, 2006. A judge orders a priest to prove that Jesus actually existed. How cool is THAT?! Check out the article here, if you choose. I think it's completely cool that "abuse of popular credulity" is a crime in Italy. Is it too late in my life to move there? I'm only thirty-five, I think I can swing it. Cappuccino at ten, I believe I'll say "yes".

I think it's pretty great that there's someone out there in a position of power calling religion on their bullshit. I mean, for a judge to say, "ok, you say some dude, two-thousand years ago, did a bunch of 'miraculous' shit and people are now giving you money because of it...that means you need to prove that guy actually existed and did that shit", is fantastic. I'd like to see that happen somewhere in North America. This is one court case I'll be watching closer than that misshapen mole on my left shoulder.

Great, Now I Have to Hate Coldplay

If you'd be so kind as to look at this page, the third story down, you'll notice the apparently brain-damaged Gwyneth Paltrow and her ghostcapades. She got Madonna (that bastion of clear-thinking) to recommend a kabbalah rabbi to do an exorcism in her and husband Chris Martin's giant castle. Seriously, for the low low price of $2000 Canadian dollars, I'll run around naked in her castle, yelling profanities in Klingon, and finally squeezing my left ball making me hit a note so high that Mariah Carey will kill herself in envy. I promise that will make the "ghosts" go away.

Man, does money and success make you retarded? Should I expect the CD cover of the next Coldplay release to show a picture of a helmet? I wonder how much the 'tard couple paid to get the "bad energy" out of their massive home? Do you think that the supposed paranormal visitors could really just be the fact that two people live in a five-bedroom abode and every creak of the floor is interpreted by the gullible and afterlife-believing Gwyneth as dead visitors bent on messing with her second pregnancy? Perhaps your second pregnancy is difficult because you weigh 6 pounds. Just a guess....

In a just world, you two would not be allowed to procreate ever again.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Trading Cards

Here I thought trading cards were only for things like hockey, baseball, and maybe the odd set for synchronized swimming. I'd buy them. I have a thing for well maintained, slicked-back hair on women. That and nose-plugs.

I'm back in Ontario now after being home in Halifax for the end of year vacation where my cousin gave me some trading cards he had no use for. He was good with all the sports cards (including a mint-condition Gretzky rookie card, I might add), but I said I'd take the weird ones off his hands because I'm a nice guy and heck, maybe they'll be worth something when I take them to the geeky 36 year old counter clerk playing Magic with his 13 year old peer group in the basement of the store. In my head I thought, "no way, that geek is going to play me for a fool...I'm going to look up the street value of the Garbage Pail Kids cards to make sure I'm not getting ripped off by the 40 Year Old Virgin."

Seriously, that's what I thought. I've spent the last hour or two looking up the value of shit like Ghostbusters 2 cards and Happy Days cards. I watched Happy Days regularly and I had no idea there were trading cards of Mr. and Mrs. C out there. Who'd a thunk Donny Most would be forever immortalized? Well, I'm sure a lot of people would think that, but not in trading card format. If they only had a Count Malachi card....

There are Alf cards out there! Alf! I hated that stupid show. On a slightly happier note though, it seems as if a lot of other people did as well because the cards are worth shit. Personally, my first real girlfriend in high school liked Alf and had posters of him in her room along with her waterbed and the Chippendale men who all looked like what you'd imagine the statue of David would look like if he came alive and had a quarter-pound of hot pepperoni packed under his leaf. She's a large part of why I couldn't stand that little cat-eating freak of nature. That goes to show you how much people will let slide if you have a cute catch-phrase and are furry. The creature actually bragged about eating household pets and a lot of people were ok with it.

I'm sure that old girlfriend ate cats too.