The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Five Things

So I have been tagged by Mojoey for the "Five Things About Me" meme that's all the rage now. Because currently I seem to be such a mysterious Heathen, I shall divulge some not-so-well-known facts about me so the blurry Blobsquatch that you catch a glimpse of may sharpen in focus just slightly.

1. I was a professional cheerleader. You may want to re-read that last sentence just to make sure it registers in your head. I started cheerleading at Saint Mary's University when my friends and I were recruited by a hot girl while we were standing in line to get into the gym. I ended up being captain of the men during my three years of cheering as well as going to Nationals at the Toronto Skydome (now the "RogersDome"), appearing in the school newspaper, and being recruited to be on a "best-of" team that cheered for the Halifax Windjammers - a National Basketball League team that was in Canada for about 4 or 5 years. Throwing women this way and that, getting thousands of people to yell with you, and staying in pretty good shape - plus getting called "gay" by every second dumbass I met, had an entire dorm of guys sing "He's a Girl" (a charming tune I believe they composed themselves) to us at an away game, and getting maced by the police at the same aforementioned game for fighting the also aforementioned frat/dorm boys, were all the joys I experienced.

2. I lived in Japan. For two years I was in Kagoshima, Japan teaching English as a second language at a private school with a company called GEOS Language Systems. It was from 1996 until '98 and that was where I met my wife. She taught for the same company but was in a different city, one called Tottori. We met at a teacher's meeting in Fukuoka in February of '97. While living there I had the opportunity to travel to Vietnam, Thailand, and several of the smaller islands in Southern Japan. My wife and I also climbed Mt. Fuji.

3. I once gave myself a black eye for a Hallowe'en party costume. My best friend and I went to a party dressed as Tyler Durden and the Narrator from the movie Fight Club and while I was getting my costume on, he showed up with a great shiner. He said that he got his brother to punch him in the face because he couldn't get the makeup to look right. I attempted to use makeup, but his eye just looked so much better. Quickly, I hit myself five times in the right eye and it swelled up and got nice and dark. It was beautiful. We had matching black eyes and everyone at the party kept asking us what happened; when we told them that we gave ourselves the punches, they just said stuff like, "it's ok, you can tell me what really happened".

Several people at my massage therapy school, for the next two years, called me Guy Who Punched Himself in the Face. Rightfully so.

4. I once stole a full-size plastic snowman from a person's yard, kept it for a year while taking pictures of it around the local area, and then returned it with the photo album the following winter. We named the snowman Colgate and he had wonderful adventures with us that he otherwise would not have gotten to experience. He had his picture taken in bed with beautiful women at several different parties, at historic forts, and relaxing under the willow trees at a fabulous garden. Much more interesting than a garden gnome theft, in my opinion. I only wish I could have seen the owner's face when he/she found Colgate back on their step and they first opened the album....

5. I have four tattoos. My first one is an old style Mickey Mouse on the outside of my left ankle. I got it because I hung out with two other guys named Mike; one called "Michael", one called "Mike", and me - "Mick". There is only one person who calls me that anymore, but I still love the old cartoons so I'm still rather partial to the ink.

My second one is a small black dragon on my right shoulder. I drew it myself and quite like the way its head looks backwards, "covering me". The third one is seven Japanese Kanji down my right ribs. That was forty minutes of agony, but the result is a nice piece of art with which I'm quite happy.

Lastly, I got my wedding ring tattooed on. I'm a massage therapist and therefore don't wear a ring to work. In the summer I play slo-pitch baseball so I can't wear it then either. I very much enjoy being married and I like having a ring, so I decided to get a permanent one. Yeah, I know, "what if?...what if?" That is a bridge that isn't even on the map I have now, so there's no thought of crossing it.

That's about all for the Five Things meme. Thanks again to Mojoey for the ol' chuck on the shoulder. I shall tag Orac Dave Paul Frank and King Aardvark.

4 Barbaric Yawps:

At 23/1/07 11:18 am, Blogger franky said...

Already did that one Mike:


At 26/1/07 4:03 pm, Anonymous Cathy said...

So YOU'RE the guy who stole my snowman! Oughta punch you in the eye, ya ruined my Xmas. It does explain some odd things, though, like why he smiled so much wider when pretty girls got close. Thanks for the pix.

At 26/1/07 4:51 pm, Blogger Paul said...

OK, dude. I know it took me a few days, but it's done.

At 2/2/07 7:26 pm, Blogger King Aardvark said...

Hi Mike,

I'm back, alive and well. I've got my list o' 5 things posted here.


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