The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Why Is There Always So Much Doubt From Christians?

Geez, they bitch and whine about their "savior" coming back to judge everyone, but then when someone says he is Jesus reincarnate, they get all "Oh no you're not! We'd know Jesus by his flowing robes and beard", and apparently not by the "666" tattoo on his arm.

Just exactly what sort of proof do Christians need? This guy says he's got the same soul as Jesus, he explains that the whole "anti-Christ" thing is just a misunderstanding, and he says angels came to him in a dream and said they were waiting for him for 2000 years. How the hell is that any different from Moses coming back from the mountain?

This guy, Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, lives lavishly and has three (count 'em, three!) diamond encrusted Rolexes plus he drives around in armoured Lexuses and Beemers. He has an annual salary of around $136,000, which is just about what Ted Haggard is getting for being banished from Colorado Springs, only without (so far) the humiliation of blowing a prostitute while high on crystal meth.

Christians really need to relax and just accept their savior when he shows up. What's with all the skepticism, anyway? I thought that's what they always bitch at me about. "Stop being closed minded...You must live a shallow, depressing existence, not having hope and all", you'd think they'd be happy. I don't know how to make these folks happy.

Let the Rapture begin!

4 Barbaric Yawps:

At 20/2/07 10:31 am, Blogger King Aardvark said...

That guy can't be Jesus. I'm Jesus.

 
At 20/2/07 12:39 pm, Blogger Seven Star Hand said...

Hey BH Mike,

Cool horns, where can I get seven of them? (just kidding, by the way)

Sorry to rain on Mr. Jesus' parade...

Jesus Christ never existed and a long list of researchers and authors have produced overwhelming evidence of this. Likewise, I've published comprehensive proof that the Book of Revelation and other New Testament narratives are deceptive rewrites of earlier Hebrew symbolic wisdom texts, most of them authored by the Teacher of Righteousness of the Dead Sea Scrolls (me). I've fully reverse-engineered and documented the ancient wisdom symbology used to construct Hebrew wisdom narratives and prophecies.

Once you learn to truly understand ancient wisdom symbology, which has long been obfuscated and misrepresented through religion and mysticism, the Bible reveals a very interesting and damning story against religion and exposes all three so-called faiths of Abraham as Roman inspired fraud! Jesus Christ is a central aspect of these strong delusions (2 Thess. 2:11) as are Mr. Miranda's money inspired deceptions.

Christianity is in fact the "false prophet" symbolized in the Apocalypse. The seven seals are the same thing as the Seven Spirits of God and the Seven Pillars of Proverbs 9:1.

Here is Wisdom !!

 
At 21/2/07 10:45 am, Blogger Secret Rapture said...

Neither Miranda nor king aardvark are Jesus, since I am.
My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

 
At 23/2/07 3:15 am, Blogger William said...

Damnit, there's just too many damn deities to choose from!

 

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