The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Oh My God! They Head-Butted Justin! You Bastards!

Recently, Justin Trottier (the director of CFI Ontario) was putting up posters on a campus in Toronto for an event called God: The Failed Hypothesis (April 5th, Lower Level of the Students' Centre, 1265 Military Trail, University of Toronto at Scarborough at 2:00 pm) when a couple of douchebags (see definition #3) confronted him and his friend. The incident ended up with one of said douchebags head-butting Justin directly in his fucking face, cutting him and possibly breaking his nose.

How very Christian.

They seemed to be offended that the God event was taking place and decided to get all frustrated and violent. I guess the best way to show your displeasure about something you disagree with is to try to kill the person nearest you with that viewpoint...or at least mess up their face.

If you happen to be around Toronto in early April, remember to go to the lecture: God: The Failed Hypothesis - April 5th, Lower Level of the Students' Centre, 1265 Military Trail, University of Toronto at Scarborough at 2:00 pm

Show the retards who hit Justin that regardless of the stupidity and ignorance we can get a big crowd to attend.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Ok, I Was Wrong. Jesus Is The Way and the Light.

I received this letter.
Greetings Mike
I wonder if this might interest you:
About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 1994, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages [England & Australia]. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].
Truly there is a God, although the fool has said in his heart, there is no God [Psalm 14]. And it assuredly exists so truly that it cannot be conceived not to exist. For it is possible to conceive of a being which cannot be conceived not to exist; & this is greater than one which can be conceived not to exist. Hence, if that, than which nothing greater can be conceived, can be conceived not to exist, it is not that, than which nothing greater can be conceived, but this is an irreconcilable contradiction. There is, then, so truly a being than which nothing greater can be conceived to exist, that it cannot even be conceived not to exist; & this being you are. O Lord our God. [St Anslem]
Peace Be With You

Why do religious people feel the urge to write me saying that they are better now? Do they think I'm not well? I mean, I agree with them that I'm rather abrupt in my writing, particularily about religion and its stupidity (I'm guessing that the last piece about the damn Poop piqued his interest), but if I see a fundie ranting and raving on the sidewalk (or on his/her blog), I just think, "man that's annoying - I wish they'd realize the level of bullshit that they're peddling."

Maybe he thinks this about me. I wish he'd just walked on by, but he didn't so here we go.

Michael says this, which I think is quite telling: "I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities." Did you not even read my last post? Why are you, a grown, adult person, still afraid of a place that equates to Narnia? It's make-believe, man. "Do what we say is right or you'll burn forever." You said you went through, "four months of absolute terror" - don't you think that's more than three days or however long it took your supposed Jesus to die on the cross? Not to mention that LOTS of other fellas died on why was Jesus' death so special? Or meaningful? What about Appolonius of Tyana - miracles, disciples, died, rose...hmmm... There are precious few people who have done heinous enough things that I'd say, "yeah, that prick deserves to burn and suffer for all time". I seriously doubt you'd qualify, SonnyJim.

Oh, wait, here's the verses he says inspire him so much:
John 3:8 The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

Well of course you can tell which way the wind blows from. That's easy. This is pseudo-spiritual mumbo-craptro that only has meaning for people who are so mentally lost they could find meaning in...oh, I don't know...poisoned Kool-Aid. Paging Rev. Jones...Rev. Jones, we have a new member of The People's Temple waiting in the lobby...Rev. Jones...?"

John 15:26 But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me

Well isn't that nice. A "comforter" will come and testify. Marvelous. Oh, wait, he forgot to find inspiration in a verse about 20 lines up: "John 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned." Nice, eh? Much like the many other times the bible says that God will burn people to death forever and ever until the end of all time, loving father that he is. I wonder why the "comforter" was so angry with people, like me, who think he's not real? I find it odd that people like Michael just skip over these parts of the bible.

Then we get to the gem of the letter: "Truly there is a God...And it assuredly exists so truly that it cannot be conceived not to exist." Oh no, I can conceive of "it" not existing. What I can't conceive of is how the FUGGIDY FUCK to make sense of that entire "paragraph" under the dotted line. Is that the sort "reasoning" you are swayed by? Well fuck, now I get what I've been doing wrong. Ok, try this:
For surely god does not exist, for not existing is akin to existing without seeing; surely seeing but not existing is existing but aside from hearing, and hearing plus existing minus the cube root of existing must surely equal less than the greater sum of gods parts left of his scrotum, after allowing for the hearing, seeing and not existing to exist apart from non-existance and sight.

See, so god can't exist. QED.

This guy apparently wanted to share his story with me because of this verse:
Luke 8:16 No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, or putteth it under a bed; but setteth it on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light. (8:17) For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.

I'm guessing that this means that once you have a "light" in your life, you show it to everyone so they too can have light. The thing is, his "light" is the fact that he got himself better from whatever fucked up place he was in back in '94 or whenever the hell he was messed up. I'm genuinely glad for the guy that he's better, but take some fucking credit, man! Give some credit to the hospital staff and therapists who helped you a bit.

If you need to believe in some man in the sky/holy spirit to get through the day, so be it. You need to know, however, that (and I assume here that you live in North America) life isn't that fucking difficult here. Problems arise, certainly, but belief in shit that doesn't exist will, in the end, only magnify your shitstorm.

Forget your god, forget your holy spirit, come in out of the shitstorm and start living your life, dude. And to answer your initial query, no, this didn't interest me.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Hell Is Real - And I Have a Nine Inch Coc...

I was watching The Hour and Strombo said that the Pope had mentioned recently that Hell was a real place that actually exists. I thought to myself, fuck, how did I miss that story? So I look around and see that it actually happened today! What a douchebag!

When the church said that Limbo was eliminated, I was there. That was just saying that babies who die before receiving that weirdy blessing bullshit can get directly into Heaven now, but fuck those babies who died before. They can all just sit in their own shit.

Now though, apparently because people aren't scared enough anymore, Poop Eggs Benny decides to just announce that Hell is a real place (as it says in Matt - 25:41) and can be seen in works like Michelangelo's Last Judgement (look in the middle slightly more than halfway down for the flayed pelt of the artist himself along with the other tortured souls) or perhaps Goya's Saturn where the big fuckin' monster eats the fella.

It just kills me how a guy - because the friggin' Pope is just a guy - just says that this terrible, horrifying place (if you're six) exists, and if you don't follow the archaic, misogynistic, non-sensical rules we also made up, you're going to that shitty place to burn for all time (never mind that we CAN'T burn for all time because we'd run out of fuel...come on). What is it with religions and fire/burning? I mean, look at all the fuckin' references to disbelievers burning in The Fire you find in the goddamn Koran!

We get it: bad = fire.

Hey, here's a thought - don't try to scare people into believeing the stupid shit you're spewing. It's like the Dread Pirate Roberts telling Wesley, "Goodnight - I'll most likely kill you in the morning!" every damn night. After a while, it really loses its ability to instill fear.

Let's just stop with the whole "religion" thing, k? K. Once it's gone, we'll all be better off and we'll likely treat each other better without judging everyone based on some asshole in a hat's version of what's good and what's bad. Fuck him and his hat.

Slow News Week & Peanut Butter Pisses Me Off

Geez, have I ever not been motivated to write. There's just not that much happening that gets my back up. I mean there's the stupid stories like Bush saying people should pray for Tony Snow's cancer. But what the fuck else should a semi-retarded fundie do? Talk to scientists? Come on.

Apparently there's some controversy over at American Idol because some talentless fucker is getting a ton of votes and might ruin the "credibility" of the series. I think I might care less if, somewhere in there, the word "tampon" was thrown in. Other than that, I believe I'm at rock-bottom care level. Defcon-Blowme.

From various sources, I've seen a video of Duane Gish and some engineer fuckface who can't grasp basic science and think goddamn peanut butter is evidence against evolution happening. I love the smarmy bitch who says evolution is, "A fairy tale, pure and simple. Life from non-life, apart from God's direct intervention, is a fairy tale. But despite that obvious truth, evolutionists continue to build their supposedly scientific case on a foundation that virtually rules out everything that follows." That's some fucking high-quality crack she's smoking. Man, and they accuse scientists of being arrogant. Seriously? "Obvious truth"? I guess it's obviously true that my cock is 9" long and that David Blaine can actually make shit disappear. And it's obviously true that a 10,000 pound plane sitting on a runway can't fly! It's too damn big! What the hell is wrong with people who don't use common sense to just know stuff?!

Ok, I'm done for today. Unless something crazy happens, I'm going to be at work or watching Lucky Louis, which you should all go buy because it's hilarious and should still be on the air.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Heaven's Gate Freak Show

Anyone remember the Heaven's Gate cult? Thirty-nine suicides in a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, all because they followed a couple of fucking wack-jobs who used many stupid aliases such as Him and Her, Winnie and Pooh, Tweedle and Dee, Chip and Dale, Nincom and Poop, Tiddly and Wink, Bo and Peep, but finally deciding on going with Do and Ti¹.

Their real names were Marshall Herff Applewhite and Bonnie Lu Trousdale Nettles. Nettles died of cancer in 1985, but Applewhite said that he was in constant contact with her (she had "reached the Next Level", dontcha know). They were crazy UFO cultists who thought they were ETs, just like Jesus, who came to Earth to warn us about the impending disaster of the End Times and that the way to escape was to, hold on, saw your fucking balls off and then kill yourself with barbiturates and vodka. Sound odd? Yeah, think of how slowly you'd have to be brought into this shit before it started to make sense (Scientology, anyone?).

Recently, a man named Rio DiAngelo had an article written about him. He was a member of the cult, but was confused about the whole "suicide" thing. He had "an emotional meeting with Do, who telepathically consulted the Next Level", then was set free of the band of ball-less freaks as part of the "plan". Then the weirdyasses all killed themselves (to go to a spaceship hidden in the tale of the Hale-Bopp Comet) wearing Nikes and with purple shrouds over themselves. Fuck me.

Now, Rio seems to be in a bit of a pickle. He wanted to sell his footage of the mansion just after the suicides for a ton of money (he was the one contacted by the group, by mail, after they had made their way to space, and he was the one who first taped the bodies), but the sherriff's department released their footage to the international news first, thus making Rio's tape worth exactly as much as my ass-hair clippings.

Rio made a "prepared declaration" for his interview which said in part:
I am alive because I have discovered something so extraordinarily important to the world that it needs to pass on to you in its most true and accurate form from ME.

I've written before about people who are psychologically fragile or broken needing to feel special. I believe I phrased it as "Tragedy + belief + placebo effect = new healer". Rio seems to be squarely in that box. He said about the suicides and the several copycats who followed suit, "It doesn't make sense to give up everything. know. Unless you know what then knew..." Ok, but they didn't know! See the problem? It's false security just like what pretty much all religions have, a strong belief does not equal "KNOWING". Of course, what the suicide-shitheads "knew" was that Do was the "second coming of Jesus Christ".

Ok, two things. If Jebus was going to actually come back, don't you think that he'd name himself something a little more reverential than fucking "Do"? A musical note? Seriously?

Here's the second thing; let's start making castration and ritural suicide the norm for Evangelicals and Fundies of all religious sects and groups. If you believe that strongly, do us all a favor, k? As Bill Hicks once said, "Let's see how fuckin' committed you are to this premise."

¹ - From Martin Gardner's book, Did Adam and Eve Have Navels?

Hooey Gets KTFO

So there's this "energy martial arts master" guy. He says he can beat anyone with his powers and he, foolishly, sets up a challenge: Five thousand dollars to any mixed-martial arts (MMA) fighter who can beat him in a fight. Why he decided to do this is beyond me, but apparently he is actually convinced that his powers are real. Students who flip around like idiots will do that for you.

Here is a demonstration of how allowing delusions to persist can actually harm your face. The accepted challenge and subsequent...well, just watch and wish that it was Laila Ali and Sylvia Browne on those mats.

My favorite part is when he first gets punched in the face and dropped, then gets up and holds his lip as if he is surprised that he just got hammered. "Hmm...confidence in magic powers waning...waning...gone."

Hat tip to James Randi's Swift Page from March 23, 2007.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

HPV Vaccine Makes Baby Jebus Cry

The new Conservative budget was unveiled yesterday and it allotted $300 million to vaccinate girls against the Human Papillomavirus (HPV). As much as I can't stand the thought of calling myself a "conservative", I think this is a great idea and the Harper government should be commended for thinking ahead and implementing an idea that the more right wing of their supporters don't like.

And by "right wing", I mean Christians.

And by "Christians", I mean "invisible-man-believeing retards" or IMBRs.

If you don't agree with me on that, here's a sample of the "thinking" that IMBRs voiced:
...when the state of Texas decided to make vaccination against human papillomavirus mandatory, many evangelical Christians cried foul. Because the disease is sexually transmitted, they argued that the vaccination would take away their parental rights and could give girls implicit permission to have sex.¹

Right, because as you all know, nothing says "underage sex party" like a vaccination shot. But I digress, so please see here for more:
Last October the (Family Research) council’s president, Tony Perkins, spoke decidedly against the vaccine. Mr. Perkins proclaimed, “Our concern is that this vaccine will be marketed to a segment of the population that should be getting a message about abstinence. It sends the wrong message.”²

Abstinence is just not the way to go, people. Sorry, but check this out right here:
To date, six studies of abstinence-only programs have been published. None of these studies found consistent and significant program effects on delaying the onset of intercourse, and at least one study provided strong evidence that the program did not delay the onset of intercourse. Thus, the weight of evidence indicates that these abstinence-only programs do not delay the onset of intercourse.³

Ooohh! Snap! See, I wouldn't lie to you. Well, ok, I would, but not about abstinence. My kid isn't even born yet, but I'm already playing the conversation in my mind of how I'm going to talk to her about sex and her first time and all that crap. Do I want my kid to have sex? No, not until she's well good and ready and is cool to do it on her terms. But I'm a realist and I'm pretty sure that she'll meet some jerkoff musician or football player and she'll want him when she's fucking sixteen or something.

Instead of yelling at her to "keep it in her pants", I'd rather be someone she trusts and someone she knows she can talk to about anything, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be for me. If she knows to use a condom, awesome. If she's been vaccinated against HPV, swellness. I can't understand why anyone would be against this stuff.

Then I get to Focus on the Family and their website where they give their position on the HPV vaccine. They say this:
Focus on the Family supports widespread (universal) availability of HPV vaccines but opposes mandatory HPV vaccinations for entry to public school. The decision of whether to vaccinate a minor against this or other sexually transmitted infections should remain with the child’s parent or guardian. As in all areas of sexual health and education, Focus on the Family upholds parents’ right to be the primary decision maker and educator for their children.*

See, and that sounds ok in principle until you read a couple paragraphs above that in the same article where it says:
The seriousness of HPV and other STIs underscores the significance of God’s design for sexuality to human wellbeing. Thus, Focus on the Family affirms – above any available health intervention – abstinence until marriage and faithfulness after marriage

Yeah, "God's design" read that correctly. I know that IMBRs think that their friend "up there" will keep their children pure until they...well, until they meet "Mr. Right" and then settle down, Leave It To Beaver style, into comfortable sex-only-for-procreation living.

Somehow, education and communication seem to be more adult and effective than fear and control through intimidation/guilt. Silly Christians, myths are for kids! Get over it and catch up with the 21st century!

¹ from the afore-linked article
² from this article
³ from Siecus stats
* from here

Monday, March 19, 2007

Jay and Silent Bob Swear Up a Storm

This is a quick link to a funny clip. It's an edited version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back that has most of the "fucks" by all the characters in order. If you're squeamish about language, don't like Kevin Smith movies, or just aren't in the mood (or perhaps are at work) to hear "fuck" 700 times in rapid succession, I'd suggest you go and do something else.

But it's funny.

Put a Little Tiny Man...In Ya Butt

Here's a great link that sums up what's wrong with reflexology in a laugh-inducing package. I have to warn you that there is a picture of a butt, so perhaps opening this at the office may bring about unwanted over-the-shoulder readers. Proceed at your own risk

Butt Reflexology via Orac.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Only 34%

I am nerdier than 34% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!
I've never been that into Star Trek, I've never played Dungeons & Dragons in my life, and I only know enough about computers to allow me to communicate with friends and foes via email (and manage this blog). I like violent sports, drinking beer with my buddies, and a good science book. Thirty four percent nerd, indeed.

via Sandwalk

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Roll Up the Rim Job

Roll Up the Rim Job
So up here in Canada we have this annual thing at Tim Horton's coffee shop called "Roll Up the Rim" where there are (so they say) prizes hidden under, appropriately enough, the rim.

I'm wondering if anyone who reads this ranting has actually won anything more than a coffee, a donut, or a muffin from these goddamn things. This is operant conditioning at its finest by Timmies, let me tell ya. They're making millions a dollar at a time and all they dangle in front of our faces are a couple fuckin' boston cremes and a medium double double*. We're like the rats in the cage pressing the metal bar to get the food, only for us pressing the bar equals paying $1.43 for a large coffee and then gnawing on the fucking cup only to be randomly reinforced with a small sugary snack. Dance puppets, dance....

Do you have any idea how much money I've spent on coffee the last two months? Seriously, I don't ask for much - just one of the 42" widescreen plasma TVs. Come a brother out.

They can run a summer camp on donations of nickels and pennies, but from guys like me it's all take take take. Bastards.

* for those south of the border or elsewhere who may not know, a medium double double is a medium coffee with two cream and two sugar.

Bono Meets God...With Sexy Results

So take a look at this sign I saw outside a church in my town:
Bono Knows God
Can anyone figure out what the hell this actually means? Is Bono saying that he is going to tell people what God's up to? Is the preacher going to tell people that God is having sex with Bono? I can't wrap my head around that at all.

I know Bono is a big ol' Irish Catholic boy, he's met with the Poop (sorry, "Pope"), and he was short-listed to head up the World Bank...not that that has anything to do with anything. So...does he get a hotline to Heaven? That's gotta be a hell of a switchboard.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Acupuncture Claim Gets The Helmet

I have a collegue who works as the massage therapist at the spa that is affiliated with the clinic at which I work. She is taking an acupuncture course and buys into the stuff whole-heartedly, so she's always willing to chat about it even though I think it's...what's that word? Retarded. Yes. We were at the staff Christmas party and she mentioned to me that acupuncture could be used to turn a breach fetus in the womb.

I will repeat that.

She said to me that by "treating" a patient's toe, you can get a breach fetus to turn around into the proper head-down position. This was confirmed by me after going to the House of Good Health web site where they said:
Acupuncture can be used to help a breach presentation. The treatment for this is the simple application of a herb called moxa which is burnt close to an acupuncture point on the little toe (It is often advisable to bring your partner with you when having this treatment as they can be shown how to do it, as it needs to be applied twice a day)

Also at Chinese Herb Academy where they say:
Acupuncture can help with the nausea of pregnancy and there is some evidence that it can help turn a breach presentation fetus. While acupuncture has a long history of use for all the various complications of pregnancy and childbirth, it has not been proven safe or effective for any of these.

Slightly more realistic, but not much.

My problem with this "solution" is that it's too easy. See, when I hear about some "alternative" treatment or weird idea (which happens a lot when you're in the massage therapy field), I always ask myself what else would have to be true if said silly idea were actually to be true and proven.

So with that in mind, if a breach baby were as easy to rotate into proper position as a little burnt moxa near the baby toe, theoretically there'd never be another breach birth. Think about that for a second and then agree with me.

I remember some dumbass coming to our massage school and saying that "the human body can't lie, so you just ask it questions and it will tell you what is wrong" (she was referring to pushing down on the arm à la applied kinesiology). I asked her why, then, do hospitals waste their money on expensive diagnostic imaging machines and tests when all they really had to do was play a game of 20 Questions with the patient's body and they'd theoretically never get an incorrect diagnosis. She verbally tap-danced a bit and moved on to the next person - with such lack of grace that a classmate of mine leaned into me and asked, "Did she even answer your question?"
Heathen Helmet
So much silliness.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Post-Victory Impaling, Anyone? Vlad? Jon?

Forty-two year old Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey - you may not know that name but he's running for President of the United States. Oh, and he claims to be a Vampire. No shit. He's running as the candidate for the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party (sorry, no site link).

First things fucking first: There's a Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party?! Who knew that? Oh, and supposedly they have this rule about once you win, you get to impale your predecessor...which Sharkey has said he'd do to G.W. Bush. Repeatedly. To the point where the Secret Service came a-knocking.

They said they were, "concerned (about) Sharkey’s repeated remarks about impaling Bush, an act Sharkey said he would only do if he were elected president." Oh, well that's ok then. I think the serious fellas in the dark suits can safely let "the impaler" go because no one in their right mind will vote for this weirdy fuck dumbass (besides his fellow blood-drinking bretheren and, perhaps, his 19 year-old wife...and maybe Jerry Falwell).

A vampire named "Jonathon". That's just hilarious by itself.

"Excuse me, Jon, could you stop gnawing on that woman's neck and pass me the cilantro, please?"

Not Rich, But Certainly Strange - Jesus on a Baking Sheet

Seemingly, the ghost of Alfred Hitchcock is doing well and showing up on baking sheets after red-peppers were cooked on them.
Hitchcock profile
Just kidding! Aaron Frazer thinks it's Jesus! Too bad they weren't habanero peppers - That's a spicy Saviour!

Yeah, another fella thinks the 'savior of all mankind' showed up on his fucking baking equipment as a non-descript smudge that took him a while to figure out. His proof? He found a $10 bill on the ground the same day the 'image' showed up. Great science at its best.

Of course he's selling it on eBay. Wouldn't think of saving a cherished relic of the Son of God, right? Get some cashish for it! I hope this guy is just fucking with people and trying to see what sort of weirdo will separate him/herself from their hard-earned money to get their hands on a goddamn baking sheet with a red-pepper stain on it.

Our species is screwed.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Jeni's Jaws

Have a laugh on Richard - he'd have liked it.

Or read it here.

(thanks Tony)

Center for Inquiry and 300

Last night I did two things. I went to the inaugural event for the Ontario Center for Inquiry and I went to see the movie 300. I'll go on record as saying both were good.

The CFI event was cool because I got to speak with Larry Moran of Sandwalk again. We seemed to be two of the very few bloggers in attendance, but it was nice to also speak briefly with Justin Trottier, the director of CFI Ontario, and DJ Grothe, the host of my favorite podcast, Point of Inquiry. If you don't listen to his interviews, you should.

There were numerous speakers during the three hours from the various humanist, freethinker, skeptic, and atheist/agnostic communities in the area. It was interesting to hear the people and in particular see a lot of younger faces. Not for nothing, but a lot of the skepics I've met (although they were without exception, nice and welcoming) have been a bit long in the tooth.

So I left after buying a couple of buttons - one that says Heretic, which would have been better if it said Heathen, but I'm not picky; and another that has a picture of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on it. Mmm...noodly appendages.

Right, then I took off and headed for the Bloor Cinemas to catch 300. I enjoyed Sin City and Frank Miller did the graphic novel (that's "adult comic book") for this as well so you can be sure there'll be a lot of violence and scantily clad women. Well, there were a hell of a lot more scantily clad men in this particular flick, but they were generally slashing each other to pieces, which was just as cool. I'd recommend this movie (which took in about 70 million the last two days!), especially if you're in the mood for some bloodshed.

It would have been superb if it wasn't for the Promise Keeper jackass in front of me with his fat, nacho-cheese coated fingers; his fat fucking kids, and his equally fat, mannerless fucking friend. He was wearing a hat that said "Men of Integrity" across the back, but he was trying his baddest to make that a rather ironic slogan. Why is it always the Christian retards who think they're the ones whose shit smells like Palmolive?

Thankfully, the young slo-motion-dancing semi-naked woman oracle shut them up for the film. Or perhaps their latent homosexuality was stunned into silence by the thousands of sparsly clothed, incredibly muscled Spartan warriors on the screen. Either way, I'm glad they shut the fuck up and let everyone else enjoy the movie.

R.I.P. Richard Jeni


R.I.P. Richard Jeni?

Fuck. I hope this is some sort of lame-ass practical joke thing that'll get Jeni a ton of publicity. I like his comedy and when I saw him on the Just for Laughs show doing his Jaws bit, I almost peed myself. Dude is way funny.

Again, I hope this is a sick prank.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A Light Weekend and CFI Ontario's First Thingy!

We're expecting a baby girl within the next two months and this weekend is the one where I get to re-arrange the horribly disorganized basement and remove the "office" stuff from the future kid's room down to the dungeon. Hooray. Mrs. Heathen is away for the next few days and it's my job to put the porn away and focus on the task at hand (no jokes there, please).

Posting will be light over the weekend, but I am planning on attending the CFI Ontario's first official thingy downtown tonight. Paul Kurtz is supposed to be there among other interesting and cool peeps. It'll be fun to mingle and such and there'll probably be a post tomorrow about it.

Oh, and apart from that, how's Saturday April 14th for a beer-n-wings thing out here in Whibty for anyone skeptically inclined? No real agenda, just to see who's around and into, you know, beer-n-wings! We can even talk sports or things not skeptical if you so choose! Options abound!

Let me know.

Friday, March 09, 2007

What Are These "Polar Bears" You Speak Of?

It seems that because the polar ice is melting due in large part to human-generated emissions, polar bears are having to swim for much much longer times to get to new ice floes to hunt seals. They have to swim for so long in some cases that they're drowning. Scientists in that region, however have been instructed that anyone speaking on the topic must be someone who, "understands the administration's position on climate change, polar bears, and sea ice and will not be speaking on or responding to these issues."

Looks like James Hanson's complaints all over again. Those Bush douchebags have their agendas and far be it for science to let them in on a little new knowledge. Jesus is coming and the Rapture is on its way, don'tcha know?

So little hope....

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Wednesday Addams Seen in Wallpaper!

A woman whose house burned down recently said that she was so thankful that Wednesday Addams made an appearance.
Wednesday Addams
No, seriously, she said it was Jebus. She also said that it was great that Jebus "saved" her old rosary and a statue of the "virgin" Mary. Wow, I'm sure she'd rather have those than, say, a place to live. You'd think the son of the Creator of the Universe might want to save her whole fucking house.

Christians are retarded.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Angry much?

Holy shit, check out this link via PZ and how insane the writer comes across as being.

"Stomp out", indeed.

You Won't Be Needing *This*....

There's a discussion (dick-scussion?) going on over at Rebecca's blog about the merits, or lack thereof, of circumcision. Now, I have written about this before and my position is quite clear, but the writer, Stacey, and some of the commenters are in favor of it. Go check it out, it's an interesting chat.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Pt 2 of a Possibly More than 200 Part Series

Fred Sigworth seems fairly reasonable and is obviously skilled in the world of cellular and molecular physiology. He seems like a bit of a Thumper, however, as he quotes this - " How do I see the scientific enterprise? An old book puts it this way: one generation commends God's works to another..." - on his brief personal department site, as well as saying that his wife works with Youth for Christ. Great.

The big thing I could find about Prof. Sigworth is his testimony regarding a "textbook" called Of Pandas and People, specifically with respect to using this book as an alternate text in Alabama. The article said in part:
Sigworth called evolution a fact but said he distinguishes between microevolution and macroevolution. He doubts that macroevolutionary theory can adequately account for the development of the major groups of organisms. He said that, like evolution, "Intelligent Design" does a good job of explaining the data of biology and paleontology.

That's great. I have to say that it far from my place to jump into a discussion about science with a dude who has the credentials of Dr Sigworth...BUT, it seems that his faith is in the way of his science and is tainting his viewing. When he says that "...Intelligent Design does a good job of explaining the data...", he doesn't give said explanation. 'Cause there is no "explanation", persay.

When the "explanantion" boils down to, "Well, that's a really difficult thing to find out let's say God did it because that's what's in the Bible", it's not any sort of learning. Much like in my previous piece on Bruce Malone and the Creationists (great band name, by the way) where he says, "Look at the evidence through biblical glasses and it'll all come clear", you are admitting you have a bias before you start and you're not acknowledging it or trying to correct it. You're actually embellishing it so as to not even worry about the fact that you're saying an Invisible Man made stuff that we're finding. It's quite retarded. The "Milk Fairy" drank the milk in the saucer on the floor overnight, certainly not the cat. See? Makes no sense.

Another funny thing is that the Discovery Institute liked Dr Sigworth's testimony, but probably not his acceptance of microevolution, so they just said he doubts evolution as a whole (fair enough), but someone along the way mis-spelled Sigworth's name as "Figworth", so now if you do a Google search, you get a bunch of citations, mostly from comments on websites, giving "Fred Figworth" as a noted molecular and cellular physiologist who doubts evolution. It's pretty funny that they're only interested in his words and can't even be bothered to find out the man's actual name.

In doing some "URL mining", I found a PDF document from New Horizon Community Fellowship where near the top of page 12 they list "Fred Figworth" as a person who doesn't believe in evolution. To be fair, the directory seems to be a bunch of sermons from the aforementioned church, but the PDF is from August of 2006 - not that long ago at all. Check your sources, folks.

Finally, it needs to be said that Prof. Sigworth is obviously a competent scientist, but one who has a bias that sways how he sees results. That is a major handicap when it comes to Occam's Razor - "Do not posit plurality unless necessary." Don't make shit up unless you gots to. Bible people (and religious folks in general) just know there is a God up there, but there is no reason to include an Invisible Man in the sky in the workings of the Earth or the Universe. Soooo cut that crap out. Seriously.

Salon Smashes the Secret to Smithereens

I've bitched enough about The Secret, Oprah, and her new heights of stupidity. Over at PZ's blog, there's a great link to an article in Salon magazine that smashes The Secret and Oprah - it's quite refreshing and I believe I'll ask the Universe to make (nay, force!) you to go there and check it out. Here's a teaser quote:
...a lot of the believing they do is harmless fun -- everybody's got some kind of rabbit's foot in his pocket -- but we're not talking about rabbits' feet here, we're talking about whole, live rabbits pulled out of hats, and an audience that doesn't think it's being tricked.

See, don't you feel powerless under my Secret powers?

Sunday, March 04, 2007

If You Lived In China...'d be able to read my bullshit all the time. See, that's because I'm not banned in China yet. I think this is a good thing because the first thing Chinese people need to do when they wake up in the morning (evening?) is to ask themselves, "What does that massage therapist guy in Ontario think about what Oprah is doing?"

Check it yourself at the link, which I got via Sandwalk. You'll be happy to see that most of you will be able to be read by Chinese folk who don't speak Engrish.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Close the Penn

Dammit. I really enjoyed listening to Penn Jillette's radio show. Today is Saturday and I put together a nice plate of prosciutto, capocollo, some black olives, a little asiago cheese, and some toasted ciabatta bread with garlic and rosemary infused olive oil, washed down with a nice merlot (it's brunch, after all), and I was prepared to listen to Penn and Mike chat for an hour. Little did I know that this would be the last one.

I have disagreed with Penn's opinions in the past, but that was really the lifeblood of the show - people disagreed and voiced their opinions. The discussions were generally intelligent and there was always lots of laughter, which certainly made it easy to listen to. Dennis Miller said that being with Penn always made him feel like he was next to the "world's hippest carnival barker", and I'd agree with that - at least that's how I felt as a listener.

R.I.P. - The Penn Jillette Show.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Bring Ou'cha Dead!


You'll die from an Unlikely Illness (like the plague).

You will unfortunately succumb to a random and unlikely disease. Only to find out after death that eating more broccoli would have cured you.

'How will you die?' at

via PZ

More "Secret" Retardedness

I've been told that the video link on my last bitch session on The Secret isn't working anymore so I wanted to link to a new one. This clip is about nine minutes long and it's Bob Proctor talking quite long-windedly about "vibrations" and "levels of energy". Obviously he's not a physics major.

One thing I wanted to point out about this horseshit is something I thought about ten years ago when I took that "self mastery" course from the weirdy Australian fella (just to be clear, I have nothing but love for Australia, but this particular guy was an idiot). Proctor and the others in The Secret are big on attracting what you want and say that you can, "change your vibrational energy" to be in sync with whatever it is you desire, then the Universe will provide it or put it in line with you.

Ok, so let's say you want something really rare. Let's say that John F. Kennedy had a special pocket watch and you'd like to own it because you are a collector. Now that you know The Secret, you can put the Universe to work to put you in line to get it. Great; the only problem is that there's another collector out there too, and she knows The Secret. Well dammit. Which person's vibrational energy will reign supreme? Who will win out in the cosmic power battle over JFK's pocket watch? Tune in next week....

See, wouldn't it eventually descend to the point where people would be using their "Secret Powers" to take things away from others. Imagine:
I really like Ralph's wife, she's beautiful - but that darn Ralph is always there. I shall use The Secret to get the Universe to bring her vibration and my vibration into the same pattern and then we shall be together! Vibrating! Bwaahahahahahahaha!!

Sorry, couldn't resist the evil laugh at the end.

If you start out by accepting the initial premise of The Secret, then you have to end up at a place where people are using their "Secret Powers" to take things from others or get into Jedi Mind wars with other "Secret Masters". It's just juvenile silliness at best.

If Bob Proctor is so good at getting "the Universe" to get him money, why does he even need "multiple income streams"? That sounds like a bit of work. Why not just get boxes of money delivered to your door, Bob. You know, the kid in the original video got a bike dropped off on his doorstep just by thinking about it - I assume you're better at this than some untrained kid, so you should be able to at least do what a he did. Douchebag.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Paul Hellyer is Still Insane

"...I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation..."

Holy crap this guy is crazier than a fruitcake that's high on crystal meth. I've written about him before, but feel free to let me know what you think, cause, you know, I'm interested.

A Sweathog Speaks Out of Turn

I've bitched about Scientology before and now isn't going to be different. It seems that John Travolta has publicly stated that had Anna Nicole Smith converted to Scientology and enrolled in Narconon, she would have been cured and alive today, dancing care-free in a field of daisies with birds swirling ribbons in her hair.

As if anyone needs Danny Zuko from Grease giving out life advice on anything other than how to get a decent agent in Hollywood. Seriously, where the hell do actors get such giant, hairy, bullshit-filled balls? I mean, great, I'm glad you got to the point where you were able to produce and act in Battlefield Earth, Terl, but that in NO WAY makes you qualified to get someone in a drug treatment program - especially a wannabe "treatment" program like fucking Narconon.

I read in a Scientology FAQ where the Oklahoma State Board of Mental Health said something interesting:
No scientifically well-controlled independent, long-term outcome studies were found that directly and clearly establish the effectiveness of the Narconon program for the treatment of chemical dependency and the more credible evidence establishes Narconon's program is not effective. [OSB1992]

Yeah, it's from '92, but still, "not effective" is pretty unambiguous. See, they (the Xenu lovers) seem to think that no one will look their shit up and figure out that, hey, they say that they have an 85% cure rate...but they never release any information or statistics to back it up. How odd.

I wish that pretentious actors like Travolta would just stick to acting in shit comedies like Wild Hogs and fly planes and talk all deeply and meaningfully about their "motivations" and leave the sentences that make actual sense to the rest of us who don't play for a living.

Here's a great interview by Olberman that highlights the oddness. Nothing is better than the South Park episode, however. Enjoy it...revel in it.

The Number 55 - Skeptic's Circle

Over at EoR's place, there seems to be something special happening. See 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 = 15, 15 x 2 = 30, and 1 + 5 = 6. See? 30 + 6 = my current age! It's pretty convincing evidence to go and see the new Skeptic's Circle. I'd go, if I were you. Seriously.