The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Post-Victory Impaling, Anyone? Vlad? Jon?

Forty-two year old Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey - you may not know that name but he's running for President of the United States. Oh, and he claims to be a Vampire. No shit. He's running as the candidate for the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party (sorry, no site link).

First things fucking first: There's a Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party?! Who knew that? Oh, and supposedly they have this rule about once you win, you get to impale your predecessor...which Sharkey has said he'd do to G.W. Bush. Repeatedly. To the point where the Secret Service came a-knocking.

They said they were, "concerned (about) Sharkey’s repeated remarks about impaling Bush, an act Sharkey said he would only do if he were elected president." Oh, well that's ok then. I think the serious fellas in the dark suits can safely let "the impaler" go because no one in their right mind will vote for this weirdy fuck dumbass (besides his fellow blood-drinking bretheren and, perhaps, his 19 year-old wife...and maybe Jerry Falwell).

A vampire named "Jonathon". That's just hilarious by itself.

"Excuse me, Jon, could you stop gnawing on that woman's neck and pass me the cilantro, please?"

2 Barbaric Yawps:

At 13/3/07 4:32 pm, Blogger King Aardvark said...

Still, he's less batshit crazy than the guy in charge now.

At 13/3/07 6:05 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

Yeah, at least the vampire freak of nature only wants to impale one specific person.


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