The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Why I Blog

While going through my regular sites, I read at King Aardvark's place that he tagged me with one of those "meme" thingies. It's all about why you blog; an interesting thing to think about if ever there was one.

I think the first reason is that after reading Skeptic magazine, Skeptical Inquirer magazine and Free Inquiry magazine, I thought to myself the same thing that Jim Carrey said he thought when, as a child, he watched the legends of comedy do their acts: "Shit, I could do that." I really wanted to lend another voice to skepticism and try to do it in such a way that I could be original and interesting (most of the time). Still trying.

Secondly, I wanted to get some use out of the bachelor's degree in English I received in 1996. After leaving teaching and getting into massage therapy, I missed the creative outlet that writing provided. Here, I get to say whatever it is I feel and back it up or change my mind as the situation or evidence or both indicate.

There are very often, in the paper or in the news, articles or pieces that just test my patience. One of the main goals of my starting a blog was to never let a situation pass by me without at least understanding it, for once you understand a problem or situation, you are in a priviledged position to negotiate. It's all about the ability to vent frustration.

Finally, I must acknowledge the fact that I'm a passive/aggressive attention whore. I think most bloggers are, in fact. If we had any real balls, we'd be out writing pieces and typing up query letters to editors of papers and such. This is the easiest way for the lightening to get to the ground and, should a story get picked up by a major news station, you are still only reffered to as an "anonymous blogger". Nothing's free, my friend.

I enjoy doing the research for a piece, rebuffing questioners who are not respectful and questioners who try to intimidate, and lastly, when I work alone I don't have to share the credit.

And now I'm so tired that my eyes are dancing around and I'm seeing Judith Light do a slow sexy movement that I really need to see again....


(post-edit: Man, I was really tired when I wrote that and it's just stupid. I'll try not to do that again.)

God Is Not Great

I'm very psyched to read the new Christopher Hitchens book God Is Not Great. If you'd like to read an exerpt, you can go to Slate and check out the three pieces they have there - quite good. Not a bad way to start off a Friday!

Tip to the always great One Good Move.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Black Person's Bible

Remi Kanazi over at the Populist Party of America has a bone to pick with Bill Maher. Fair enough, he says some controversial things that not everyone agrees with - it's why he has a show that is interesting and not someone knitting for a half hour.

In reading the piece however, Kanazi says the following about Ayaan Hirsi Ali after she was asked whether Islam was a religion of peace:
(Ali said) "It's not a religion of peace. Immediately after 9/11 they should have said, it's not a religion of peace, we're up against Islam." That's right because Pat Robertson speaks for all Christians and the list of disgruntled students that have gunned down their schoolmates since Columbine speak for all people under the age of 25. What if Hirsi Ali said, "Immediately after the black thug robbed the liquor store, they should have said, black people are criminals, we're up against black people."
I believe this is an unfair comparison because there is no "Black People's Bible" that guides behavior towards violence and theft. There is no book or teachings you can look to that say, in coded language or parables, that robbing liquor stores is the correct thing to do under certain circumstances. The Koran, however states quite specifically:
As to those who reject Faith, it is the same to them whether thou warn them or do not warn them; they will not believe. Allah hath set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing, and on their eyes is a veil; great is the penalty they (incur)...then fear the Fire whose fuel is men and stones,- which is prepared for those who reject Faith. (ref.)
Just and merciful, indeed. Hirsi Ali's comment was fair and if Kanazi actually read her book Infidel he would have seen that, as she states, most Muslims only learn the Koran in Arabic and have no idea what the actualy book is saying - much like many many many Christians who talk so knowingly about the Bible, but have no idea what is contained in its actual pages.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


I just saw Grindhouse and it was the best movie of all time. I would review the movie(s) myself, but another person - the greatest movie reviewer of all time - has beaten me to it and I'll just give you a taste, then you can go read his words.
You know how Sly Stallone kind of looks like Bea Arthur now, and Jean-Claude Van Damme looks like Ally Sheedy? Well, Kurt Plissken looks like a dumpster full of drop kicks. He could fuck a bulldozer into eight Mini Coopers.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

An Anon-Chiropractic Heckler (edited for broken link)

I received this lovely note in response to a previous post I did about the silliness of chiropractic theory:
Hey scholar! Unfortunately I had accidently browsed across your blog and wow, just when I thought the majority of idiots were already in padded rooms... there you were. You commented on something called "life force." You also stated "what the f... is life force?" To help educate your feeble mind, I have a few things you can ponder. Did you know that:
-every 5 to 8 minutes you have a new stomach lining?
-every 6 weeks a new liver?
-every 4 months new red blood cells?

I can go on and on. What do you think makes that happen? Are you plugged into the wall? Think before you speak. When you cut yourself, it heals. When you break a bone, in 6 weeks it is healed. How do these things occur without our control or know how? This is you need to educate yourself with someone that knows about the innate intelligence that we were born with. I think I stated my point well enough. You just never know when you will run into a upper cervical spinal doctor.

Oh, change your picture if you ever want someone to actually value your opinion.
Oooo...I'm a scholar! Ok, first off, who says I'm gunning for people to "value my opinion"? Geez, presume much? I think Dr. Upper-Cervical-Spine should do the world a favor and down a bottle of homeopathic night-shade and not kill himself.

Where do I start with this guy (I assume this is a guy until proven otherwise)? He gets snarky about my use of life force and then gives Stephen Colbert-type, non-sequitor "facts" to back up his belief in said "life force". Every 5 to 8 minutes you get a new stomach lining, do you? You might want to inform the writers of Molecular Biology of the Cell who wrote:
In the stomach...the most exposed surfaces are lined with mucous cells. And...the whole lining of the stomach and intestine is continually renewed and replaced by freshly generated cells, with a turnover time of a week or less. ref.
Somehow I can't see "or less" meaning a matter of minutes. Are you really a doctor? I'm finding myself doubting you and I'm just getting started.

What do I think makes cellular regeneration happen? The physiology of the cells, sir. How do you make shit? After you eat that seventh Twinkie, do you actually think about and control the acid, the bowel contractions, and the water/nutrient absorption? If you do, I believe there are some scientists who would like to have a talk with you.

He asks, "Are you plugged into a wall?" Well, no, I haven't been since I accidentally inserted my finger into the socket trying to plug in the old TV so I could watch Atlantic Grand Prix Wrestling. I'd like to ask Mr. I-Know-About-Bodies a question though: Is your heart plugged into anything? Unless you have a pace-maker (implanted by a real doctor), your heart has these things called "pacemaker cells" that spontaneously depolarize and send the muscle into contraction, thus causing your heart to pump. Ever heard of an ECG? Yeah, it reads the electrical activity of your heart - when you're not plugged into the wall. Do I know how the cells depolarize? No, but neither do you - at least I'm honest about it and don't make shit up to answer questions I'm not sure about.

Then this person says something truly stupid about bone healing and the "facts" he spouts: "How do these things occur without our control or know how?" Gee, I wasn't aware that I was supposed to pay attention to my blood cells replacing themselves, or my skin making that attractive scab on my elbow. Can one just concentrate and control the smooth muscle contractions in one's small intestine? This guy must be so in touch with himself, and not in the fun way.

Apparently, I need to learn more about the "innate intelligence" I was born with. Quick point though - if everyone is born with smarts regarding their health and how to get better, why do the countries with the most advanced health care systems have the longest life spans (ref.)? You might want to look at Africa (sorry, the last link broke on me) and then notice that most of those countries have shitty health systems. In particular, take a boo at India - the country that oozes prana, the counterpoint to your innate intelligence. It has lower expectancy than China and it's on par with goddamn Iraq where a war has been raging for just about four years.

I'm going to write more on this, but now I have to get to work.

You know what annoys me the most about "Anonymous"? I was thinking about changing my picture, just for a new look, and now I don't want to because of this assclown. I'm going to stay with the horns now just out of spite!

Finally, chiropractic can be summed up nicely, I think, by the words of B.J. Palmer: "The world is your cow -- but you must do the milking," and of course the famous "Early to bed and early to rise -- work like hell and advertise." Nice ring to it, eh?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Newt Needs To Regenerate A Brain

Newt Gingrich thinks more guns would have solved the Virginia Tech situation. Yeah, let's think this through, shall we: Gunman shows up on campus, kills two people and then sends some mail and reloads. Two hours later (while the other kids on campus all got their guns and went out hunting for the offender) he reappears to go on his final rampage, but now when the police show up, there's not one guy with a couple guns, there's hundreds of people with guns. Good plan, Newt.

Answer me this before we go any further in this little debate - how often in the news do you hear, "Mass shooting in Sweden's capital...", or "Twenty-six people killed in Japan today when a crazed gunman entered a mall and opened fire"? Right, not very often at all.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I'm No Psychic

Well I called three of the 10 matches of last nights Ultimate Fighting Championship. I didn't get any of the more detailed stuff like how they were going to win, and I certainly didn't get that Mirko Filipovic's right foot was going to be turned around backwards in a most disturbing way when he fell in it, unconscious, after being booted in the damn head by Gabriel Gonzaga. I still wince when I think of that image.

Still, isn't 30% better than Sylvia Browne and John Edwards combined?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Fuckin' A

Not that he needs the traffic or anything, but PZ has a great piece explaining why we atheists need to be more angry, aggressive and passionate. Do yourself a favor and head on over there to check it out if you haven't already.

Anyone who bitches at me for swearing and getting angry is going to be pointed to this bit of writing from now on.

Am I...Psychic?

Here's my fight predictions for the Ultimate Fighting Championship bouts tonight. I shall report tomorrow on the outcome and perhaps I will apply for the James Randi Million Dollar prize.

Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic will defeat Gabriel Gonzaga by TKO in round 2.

Lyoto Machida will submit David Heath by armbar in round 1. Someone will stub their toe.

Elvis Sinosic will submit Michael Bisping in round 2 via a choke.

Andrei Arlovski will KO Fabricio Wendrum in round 1. He will show his fang mouthpiece and then someone will spit on him from the crowd, provoking an angry response from his entourage. Cool head will prevail.

Assuerio Silva will defeat Cheik Kongo via ground and pound in round 1.

Matt Grice will defeat Terry Etim

David Lee will defeat Junior Assuncao

Victor Valimaki will defeat Alessio Sakura

Jess Liaudin will defeat Dennis Siver

and Edilberto Crocota will beat the living bejebus out of Paul Taylor.

Check back tomorrow to see what happens with my psychic predictions. I know you are all on the edge of your seats.

Friday, April 20, 2007

In Which I Take D'Souza To Task

I know and I'm sorry. I hate to not post much during a week and then do two back to back on a complete dummy who has nothing to offer except verbal excrement. Of course I'm referring to Dinesh D'Souza who once again has written a piece that just begs to be torn apart. And yes, I acknowledge that all he's really doing is looking for attention, the bad kid in class saying swear words out loud so someone, anyone will pay attention to him. Well I'm here to pay attention, but not so much in the way he may be thinking.

In his article he attempts to address his commenters. He draws his readers' focus to his previous two short articles and the negative attitudes from the "atheists" who spit some venom back at him for his misrepresentation and maliciousness. He opens with:
If you want to discover what kind of people atheists are, scroll down to my recent posts and read the responses. I am a troll. I am a cretin. I am a moron. I am a nut-job.
So far, so good. But then he repeats an assertion he made in his previous writing:
my point was a simple one, and it seems to be unrefuted. Atheism seems to have nothing to say to people when there is serious bereavement or tragedy.
He then mentions Richard Dawkins by name as a person who's world view is "arid and unconsoling" by way of condolence to a "crying mother". I would like to now quote the last bit of Dawkins' eulogy for Douglas Adams who died in 2001 - it has been linked to by others, but I think here it would be appropriate to imagine that, instead of talking to mourners, Dawkins was speaking to Douglas' mom:
It has been our privilege to know a man whose capacity to make the best of a full lifespan was as great as was his charm and his humour and his sheer intelligence. If ever a man understood what a magnificent place the world is, it was Douglas. And if ever a man left it a better place for his existence, it was Douglas. It would have been nice if he'd given us the full 70 or 80 years. But by God we got our moneysworth from the forty nine!
If you would, please contrast this with D'Souza's words with respect to some of the commenters on his blog: looks like these fellows hate God, and this hate spills over to anyone who brings up God's name.
Here he just makes no sense, because as atheists we don't think that there is any such creature/being as "god". It's like saying we hate Rumpelstiltskin. Atheists (and I'm speaking generally here) don't have a lot of "hate", persay. I realize that that may sound a tad bit hypocritical coming from me, who rants seemingly insanely from time to time, but my complaining and swearing are more for effect, really. When it gets down to brass tacks, as they say, my philosophy is quite a bit more accepting than what you might think.

What I don't like is people like D'Souza misrepresenting all atheists with his broad brush of ignorance. I remember him demonstrating his lack of comprehension (or lack of reading skills in general) of Dawkins previously when he commented on The God Delusion, making points that were fully addressed in the book he claimed to be reviewing. Once again here, he says that -
the Richard Dawkins philosophy--that we live in a meaningless world where there is no good and no evil--whatever its intellectual merit, seems arid and unconsoling when human beings are really hurting.
Try re-reading that bit above from the eulogy. If you knew Adams, would you find that comforting? And where is it said or written that atheists don't recognize good or evil? He seems to be going to some sort of moral relativism argument where if there's no god there's no reason to be good, so everything goes, like the tired old Dosteyovsky line that has been, again, refuted by just about everyone, myself included (skip to the last paragraph).

I believe D'Souza's point is refuted. Soundly. One wonders how this man can be a writer when his research skills are so obviously lacking or subverted. In any event, I'm sure I will be commenting on him again because a person like him cannot stand to stay quiet, particularily when he has nothing of value to say.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

D'Souza D'Sucksa

I was always curious about exactly how big Satan's dick was and what it looked like, so I think I'll ask Dinesh D'Souza because he obviously has that information - seeing as he must have given the Dark Overlord a blowjob to get the jobs he's had. His latest ridiculous piece has been taken apart by PZ so I'm not going to go into it here. Quite frankly, I've dealt with him previously and he's beneath me. This latest piece does warrant one small comment, however.

When something bad happens, like Columbine or Virginia Tech, Whitman and the tower or the Amish schoolhouse, religious organizations seem to feel the need to show up and talk to people. Whether it's $cientologists or Catholics or Muslims, they somehow think that people want to hear what they have to say - and many people genuinely seem to think they need to listen.

My problem is that whenever I listen to one of these speeches, it generally centers around the concept of, "I know this seems bad, but don't lose faith. God is sorta weird sometimes and this is a bit of test for us. We can't understand the mind of God, so don't try, just accept that this was His will and keep on praying." Anyone else notice this trend?

It's like they're just trying to not lose people from the flock instead of comforting folks. I really don't want to set up a strawman here and make religions out to be something they're not, but what I notice in the actual talks is not so much ever true comfort, but reassurance that this horrible thing must be...overlooked, or put into its proper perspective because religion is necessary. Always remember, religion is necessary. D'Souza has no idea about reality or actual life and one of the commenters after his article (a man named "John") makes a great point when he says that the question isn't why atheists aren't there, it's "why do you suddenly hear from opportunistic zealots who only seek to push their own agenda when bad things happen"? True.

Atheists don't need to show up because we generally don't comfort large groups of people. We don't presume that everyone wants to hear from us because we don't know everyone. We have no desire to prey (pray?) on people when they are vulnerable and submit them to some sort of theological test. We help out the people we are close to and try to make sure they're ok. We make them dinner and hold their hand. You know, meaningful things. Dinesh D'Souza seems to think that because atheists aren't in the spotlight that we have nothing to offer. Of course, if there were prominent atheists in the spotlight, he would accuse them of trying to use the tragedy to "promote the radical atheist agenda".

It's telling that on his site he has an interview with Bill O'Reilly - another fella I'd like to ask Satan about.

Addendum - Thanks to PossumMomma for finding this article which quotes the douchebag who committed mass murder from his little "manifesto": "You thought it was one pathetic boy's life you were extinguishing. Thanks to you, I die like Jesus Christ, to inspire generations of the weak and the defenseless people."

I wonder how often we'll hear of this in the news and how horrible an influence Christianity is to our youth? Often, I'm sure.
Thanks, PMom!

Monday, April 16, 2007

V-Tech Makes Everyone Sad

*sigh* Another wingnut went fuckin' ape-shit and shot a bunch of people who were just trying to get through a damn Monday. I'm blah-ging this week (just coined that term - it means bored with the news and don't want to blog) and this bit of horrendous shit just made it worse.

How the fuck do you just shoot 32 people? After reading Orac's short piece on it, I was taken to the Answers in Genesis article about the massacre. Shockingly, Ken Hamm displays exactly the correct amount of Christian moral superiority and sanctimony you'd expect. Check out this quote:’s not God’s fault that there is death and violence in the world—it’s humanity’s fault, because we rebelled against our Creator. Certainly, the shooter at Virginia Tech has to answer for his own sin. However, we still have to recognize that we now live in a fallen world where we have just a taste of what we really asked for in Adam, when the head of the human race disobeyed God’s instruction not to eat the fruit of one particular tree. In a real sense, we are all responsible for the death and suffering we see around us.
Right, so it's everyone's fault that this fella lost his mind and killed a bunch of innocent people (sorry, fallen sinners, as Mr. Hamm would likely describe them). Oh no, apologies, it's actually not everyone's fault:
Those who claim God does not exist have absolutely no authority upon which to call something right or wrong. If God doesn’t exist, who can objectively define what is good and what is bad? What basis could there be to make such judgments? The atheist has no basis upon which to call anything good or bad. They can talk about good and bad, and right and wrong—but it’s all relative, it’s all arbitrary. What’s “good” in one person’s mind might be completely “bad” in another’s.
The atheists...of course. We have no clue what's right or wrong. We can't say that this dude who murdered more than two dozen of his fellow citizens did a bad thing, because who's to say what's bad when you don't believe in Invisible Man?! It might be a great thing!

Ken Hamm is dispicable. Suggesting in this passage that because people who don't believe in God could somehow have no defendable position to react to or condemn this horrible act is downright...what's an appropriate term? Schlussel-able? Yeah, I like that. I'd link to that douchebag's site, but even the small number of people who read my crap can find her someplace else if they'd like to read her shit. Here's a suggestion if you're thinking about looking for Debbie's site - find a dog, grab it by the hind legs, shove your nose up the dog's asshole and inhale deeply. You'll make the same face as you would after reading her dripping, disgusting, racist and ignorant "column".

Maybe Mr. Hamm could enlighten me as to how laws get made. As I understand it, it's like that I'm just a bill cartoon from the old Schoolhouse Rocks series:

Funny - God's not mentioned once in that cartoon.... I guess they were just a bunch of godless, relativist, communist atheist bastards.

To finish this off, here's a final bit from Hamm's article:
Naturalism (in essence, atheism) has become the religion of the day and has become the foundation of the education system (and Western culture as a whole). The more such a philosophy permeates the culture, the more we would expect to see a sense of purposelessness and hopelessness that pervades people’s thinking. In fact, the more a culture allows the killing of the unborn, the more we will see people treating life in general as “cheap.”
Hamm here seems to be doing that popular Christian thing called "playing the victim" and saying that atheism or "naturalism" is the "religion of the day". Last I checked, there were about 299 million more religious people than not in the U.S. - but my numbers could be off. Another Christian (and indeed, oft-repeated religious) misconception is that atheism promotes "hopelessness" and "purposelessness". This lazy accusation has been countered too many times to even reference in this short piece and, quite frankly, to give it attention is a waste of my time and energy.

Oh, and way to squeeze the obligatory abortion comment in there at the end, Kenny. Nice touch, diminishing the current event to plug your big political talking point. Ass.

Ken Hamm's mind is obviously made up and there's no point in addressing him or his assholic points (thus rendering irrelevant and ironic the entire above rant). It's just sad and depressing and annoying to have to look at this senseless tragedy and see a ton of bullshit on top of the blood.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Skeptic Circle-tacular! #58! Geeky Goodness

The new Skeptic's Circle is up over at Geek Counterpoint. There seems to be a big steaming pile of skepticism and woo to slog through, so get a pillow for your back, a nice cuppa joe, and settle in to have a read.

Teach Happiness and Daisies - 24/7

I feel a little bit sick to my stomach after reading a recent article in the Daily Mail. Teachers in public schools changing or omitting what they would normally teach (about the Holocaust or evolution or the Crusades) in order NOT to offend Muslims or Christians who may be being taught differently at their homes, churches or mosques.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

First of all, when did the State or Province give teaching licences to the imams, clergy or home-schooling moms and dads? Once that happens, maybe I'll start taking them slightly more seriously than I presently do. That being said check out this quote from the article:
...some teachers are reluctant to cover the atrocity for fear of upsetting students whose beliefs include Holocaust denial.

There is also resistance to tackling the 11th century Crusades - where Christians fought Muslim armies for control of Jerusalem - because lessons often contradict what is taught in local mosques.
When the hell did religious institutions become the standard for how kids are taught? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't these the same folks who think that some dude flew up to heaven on a horse with fucking wings? Do we have to hide all the normal horses from them so they don't question why Trigger and Mr. Ed can't fly? Will that offend them too? Fuck you and your stupid beliefs.

People are free to believe any retarded, helmet-headed, drool-inducing, third chromosome ideas they want to, but don't even think about including them in schools or deleting solid history or science because it conflicts with the shit you just made up. Like Junior said on The Sopranos: "If you're going to lie to me, tell me there's a broad in the car who wants to tongue my balls."

Some of the teachers cited said they feared teaching the Holocaust because of possible anti-semitic reactions or comments from Muslim students. See, this is the problem with schools today - the teachers can't tell a student to shut the fuck up and learn different points of view. If I said an anti-semitic remark when I was in grade six, the teacher likely would have made fun of me until I was the laughing stock of the class. Then when my fundie dumbass parents came in for the "meeting" s/he would have told them that it's great they have a strong faith community, but that their history is sadly and horribly ignorant of actual events and that they should look into fucking night classes or something. Oh, and that teacher would have had the backing of the principal and the school board who wouldn't have soiled their panties at the thought of a bit of head-butting with a goddamn church group.

Backing down from educating kids in what actually happened, pleasant or not, because of the threat of confrontation is absolutely inexcusable. Religion, and in particular religious "education", needs to be offended. Repeatedly and unflinchingly. Because it's fucking WRONG! Christians getting pissy because the school doesn't teach their version of the Arab/Israeli conflict and the history or Israel? Tell 'em to go stuff Genesis up their ass. Muslims don't like Jews and say the Holocaust didn't happen? Inform them that, as George W. says, "denial ain't just a river in Libya", and to go kiss a dick.

This whole "respect for stupidity" bullshit is really getting old. Can we toss it out the fucking window, please? Sam Harris is correct when he says that moderate believers fuck things up almost more than anyone else (I'm paraphrasing). See, it's the people who say, "Well, those guys are wrong, but God is real and that's the main thing, so I can't offend them", are the ones who throw a wrench into the solution - which is just to tell believers that they're retarded and wrong and if they want to teach half-truths and outright lies to do it solely in their religious towers. Leave public schools to the rational and realistic.

Religion must go away.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The Gods Want Your Body Parts

Religious stupidity seems abundant this week, or perhaps I'm just paying attention. According to Suresh Kumar, or at least the note he wrote after cutting off his tongue to please a Hindu invisible entity, he is, "...a true disciple of the goddess and it is (his) firm belief which has given (him) the strength to offer (his) tongue to her."

So for some reason, people feel it necessary to worship a "goddess" described as follows:
Kali is represented as a Black woman with four arms; in one hand she has a sword, in another the head of the demon she has slain, with the other two she is encouraging her worshippers. For earrings she has two dead bodies and wears a necklace of skulls ; her only clothing is a girdle made of dead men's hands, and her tongue protrudes from her mouth. Her eyes are red, and her face and breasts are besmeared with blood. (from here)

Fuck me that sounds like goddamn Jeffery Dahmer, not something worth mutilating yourself to please. Dead bodies for earrings!? Holy snappin' fuckin' Mary's vag! How do you explain those at a party? Oh, and let's not forget this marvelous little tale of a mother's love:
...the image of kali dancing with Shiva follows closely the myth of the demon Daruka. When Shiva asks his wife Parvati to destroy this demon, she enters Shiva's body and transforms herself from the poison that is stored in his throat. She emerges from Shiva as Kali, ferocious in appearance, and with the help of her flesh eating retinue attacks and defeats the demon. Kali however became so intoxicated by the blood lust of battle that her aroused fury and wild hunger threatened to destroy the whole world. She continued her ferocious rampage until Shiva manifested himself as an infant and lay crying in the midst of the corpse-strewn field. Kali, deceived by Shiva's power of illusion, became calm as she suckled the baby.

Lord fuck a goat, she sounds like the goddess of Rwanda circa 1994. How do you worship a supposed "goddess" when she loses her fuckin' mind and kills enough people to create a "corpse-strewn field"? Think about that for a second: "corpse-strewn". When have you ever seen anything, field or not, that was strewn with corpses? I'm going to say "never". Call me crazy, but I'm SO not crazy compared to this weirdyass douchebag, four-armed, murdering, nutbag asshat.

If you absolutely have to believe in something stupid and unrealistic and retarded, at least try to make sure it's not a creature that murders a ton of people in a frenzied rage and then wears a "girdle of dead men's hands" and bodies for earrings. That's like worshipping Dolph Lundgren in Universal Soldier, for fuck's sake. Try to be a little more fucking selective in your gods, please.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Tuesday Triple Tap - The Stupid Shit Edition

Part The First: *sigh* Will this stupid shit ever end? Some poor, delusional fifty year old woman got trampled to death while a huge mob was waiting to buy a fucking amulet. You know, one that, "People believe...can bring good luck, and protect them from evil and violent attacks including gunshots and knife wounds."

Yeah, what do you want to bet no one ever tested that out? I'd waste one life of a true believer on that little experiment. "Go stand over there, Pai, and we'll shoot you in the friggin' chest-piece. Make sure to rub that amulet really hard and believe in your heart of hearts that you'll be ok."

Part The Second: So Canada had 736 UFO sightings last year. Because of the number, Chris Rutkowski, who is director of the Ufology (pronounced "oof-ology") Research institute in Winnipeg, made the comment that although the number of sightings per year is decreasing, "...the phenomenon persists, which to me says there is a basic underlying, real phenomenon that extends beyond media and pop culture."

I'm curious if he's open to the possibility that the "phenomenon" that exists is the ignorance of the general public with respect to what they might see in the night sky? How many of those 736 sightings came from backyard astronomers or professional sky-watchers? One of the best quotes from this article is this one:
It was just above the glare of the street light, so you couldn't quite make out the whole thing, but it had a very unusual, strobing, eerie kind of light in the made absolutely no sound whatsoever - it was just really mind-boggling.

Yeah, a soundless vision just above the streetlight you were staring at - what are the odds?

Part The Third: Pareidolia once again strikes in New Mexico where a dude who cut down a cherry tree (Washington?) saw the image of the Virgin Mary or Our Lady of Guadalupe. Yeah, because she'd hide out in the middle of a fucking tree until some guy cut into it in just the right way. She's got nothing better to do. Does anyone else see Edward Munsch's Scream in there? Just me?

And they added oil to make the "image" come clearer. Couldn't the damn Virgin Mary make her picture clear enough to not need enhancement? Fuck, it's not like we DON'T have digital cameras and over a million colours to play with. Get with the times, bitch!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Beat the Savior Weekend!

I'm away for the weekend, so take some time and enjoy the holiest days in the Christian calender - you know, the ones where their supposed savior was beaten like a Russian circus bear and then hung up on a wooden post for a bit, all named after a Pagan goddess who took the form of a rabbit when she came to Earth.

Man, how fucked up would you think that story was if you were just hearing it for the first time?

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Beyoncé and Shakira Have Boobs and Ass!

I was watching the new video by Beyoncé featuring Shakira today. I didn't even know that she had a new song, that's how out of the loop I am with respect to pop music. So it's called Beautiful Liar and it is filled with images of Beyoncé and Shakira writhing around and sticking their asses out.

Now you'd think I'd be all, "Yeah, that's great!", but I'm not. Maybe I'm getting old or something, but all I could think while watching it was, "Ok, I get it, you think you're hot. You have tits and ass. Fabulous. Now what the fuck are you trying to say"? I've seen enough naked women to know that Beyoncé doesn't have anything under that tight dress that would shock me (minus the ever-present possibility of a large penis tucked away back there), but isn't there any sort of desire by people like her, Fergie, or Shakira to, I don't know, maybe have some sort of message other than, "Use your tits to attract boys!"

Fuck I'm old....

"Moga" - What, Now?

I find it depressing that most people know who got kicked off Dancing with the Stars, but have no idea where Somalia is on a world map. Seriously - if you stopped 100 random folks on a street corner, what percentage do you think would have any clue where Mogadishu is? This shit has beeng going on for year and years and who gives a fuck? No one.

Yet another place where a government is trying to set up and a bunch of religious retards is trying to violently take over and make their invisible douchebag the Lord all Penii and Vaginas. Our species really needs to get a fucking grip.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

My Troll-Whore Hates Me

Well it seems that Michael Gormley (aka: has come to the end of his novelty with me. Damn him and his fickle fondness for freakshowing like a fucking fruitcake (enjoy that little alliteration, did you?)

Over at Sandwalk, Michael (or his gay-sex, crystal meth buddy "Patrick") posted almost the exact same comment as he did here on my site. So I decided to call him on his cheating ways by saying:
Aw, "Patrick"...I thought you were my crazy Christian troll. Man, then I come to find you've been over here, all unfaithful in your craziness, trying to snatch the atheism away from someone else.

You're a cheating bitch.

To which he immediately replied:
Patrick said...
Re: BigHeathenMike

You're a cheating bitch.

Luke 20: 16 – 18
He shall come and destroy these husbandmen, and shall give the vineyard to others. And when they heard [it], they said, God forbid.
And he beheld them, and said, What is this then that is written, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner?
Whosoever shall fall upon that stone shall be broken; but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.


Peace Be With You

So now I know for sure that Michael/Patrick are the same person, possibly with a weird same-gender identity disorder or something, and that he's more than a little unstable (he's going to grind me into powder, he's wishing me "peace"...he loves me, he hates me...). Mainly because when I called him a "cheating bitch", he came right back and accused me of being the same. How can I cheat on him? He was MY insane Christian, bible-quoting dumbass! I didn't go around talking up the commenters on Bill Dembski's blog, did I? Noooo.

Of course, the little troll-whore was also over in the comments at Thoughts in a Haystack, saying the exact same things AGAIN! The nerve. Did he think I wouldn't find out?!

So he finally sent me a short note that just said, "COWARD" in scary red letters. It was on an even scarier (I'd go so far as to call it "horrifying") yellow background. The worst part...and I'm almost shaking in my booties that the subject line of the email said...oh man, it was frightening... said "a present" Yeah. Scary.

Who wants THAT present?! I guess I should take Jebus as my personal trainer. Maybe he can help me lose the love handles.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

In Which I Bait the Nutbag

So the dude who wrote me the annoying letter seemed to feel it necessary to continue the "conversation" and show his persistence. He sent me this lovely little follow-up (I didn't change a thing):
Greetings Mike
I felt some pain when I read your comments - BLOG. I imagine you were raging of your fear, pain & shame. I imagine you are a RAGEAHOLIC, CONTROL FREAK & AVOIDER - you have a conscious fear of intimacy & an unconscious fear of abandonment. I get a sense that you are a terrified 'little boy'!! You abandoned him (inner child) a long time ago. Get down on your knees, Mike, & ask Jesus to forgive you for your sins. I 'love' you, Mike & I will be praying for you.
Peace Be With You
Michael (Follower of Jesus Christ)
PS: How do you feel, Mike?

Fuck, where does a person start? Now I have to comment on an amature Sigmund Freud crossed with Corky from Life Goes On.

You "felt some pain". Well guess what? I felt pain when you initially contacted me, out of the blue, like a Jesus Wino asking for money while I'm on my way to the bank. Howzabout you leave random people who are just getting through their lives the fuck alone? Why don't we try that on for size? At the moment, you are a Jehovah's Witness, unwantedly knocking on my door to offer me retarded "spiritual" advice and then getting snitty when I tell you to go fuck yourself.

You assume I have "fear, pain & shame", am a "RAGEAHOLIC, CONTROL FREAK & AVOIDER", have fears of abandonment and intimacy, and am a "terrified little boy". Hm. If I had a control freak Man In The Sky (MITS), via some virgin dude in a robe, telling me that sex was bad, regardless of my natural impulses to procreate, that might make me have the first three of your accusations.

When I question hard-core believers, like you seem to be, about their supposed MITS and his silly rules and regulations, steadfastly refusing to be intimidated by the threats of hell, burning, isolation and whatnot, I generally receive rage, avoidance of facts or common sense, and a complete inability to give up control of the situation. Are you getting the feeling that ol' Mikey seems to be looking in a mirror?

I didn't "abandon" my "inner child". I grew up. Most of us move from childhood to adulthood and grow in our knowledge about the world around us. People like you feel the need for a constant Father Figure, your beloved MITS, thus keeping yourselves in a permanent stage of childhood, complete with a forgiving mechanism that allows you to escape responsibility for your actions. Ain't religion grand?! I don't have an "inner child", douchebag, and neither do you.

I get down on my knees for only a few reasons, none involving a possibly fictional character from 2000 years ago and his "love" for me...or yours. I have plenty of friends and family and a kick ass life far far away from weirdyasses like you. Feel free to pray for me; anything to keep you occupied with a pointless, meaningless activity so you won't bother anyone else is better than what's going on presently.

How do I "feel"? I feel like having breakfast, but my skin feels pretty soft and furry. I also feel like saying that you should preach to the converted because it's not flying here (although it's making for a couple of good posts in a slow week - so thanks for that).