The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Answers in Where, Now? Museum, You Say?

So Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis has opened his fabulous new Creation Museum in Kentucky to a crowd of thousands. Great. Thump the tub, brothers. One review however (from the HuffPo link) said this:
Some exhibits show dinosaurs aboard Noah's Ark and assert that all animals were vegetarians until Adam committed the first sin in the Garden of Eden.
Yeah, dinosaurs with people and the other animals on Noah's Ark. Fuck me with a barbed-wire mitten. See, this is the problem in a goddamn coconut shell - Ken Ham and other creationists have a problem believing in a 4.5 billion year old planet with about 3.5 billion years of biological evolution going on and scientists all over the world from virtually every single discipline agreeing on the evidence, but he's cool with goats and monkeys chillin' with a velociraptor on the mezzanine level of the fuckin' Love Boat for forty days and nights.

The stupidity knows no bounds. You really should go check out the AiG page and read the "answers" they provide. It's the same sort of shit that I wrote about previously and it still makes less than no sense. A lot less. Think of asking a bowl of fruit salad how to do an algebra problem...then punch the salad and pour vodka all over it. That's about the level we're looking at.

Of course PZ has a great post on the reactions to this mind-numbing piece of shit that is well worth your time to peruse. You know, you should only pay attention to this crap if you don't have toenails to clip or a cat to bathe. It's so not worth your time to try to slog through the IKEA ball-pit of retard-helmets that make up the writing staff of AiG that the museum just may get condemned on the grounds of insanity.

There should be a HUGE fund-raising effort from the skeptic community to build a Flying Spaghetti Monster Museum. Oh, and it should be right next to Ham's Creation Museum so that if some religious nutbag sets fire to the Noodley One's lair, perhaps the sparks will float over and do some damage to Noah's boat. What irony - a boat that is famous for floating in the most intense rainstorm of the planet's history for over a month goes up in a ball of fire.

"Stop that...it's not nice."

"No! Not until...you...see the...irony..."

10 Barbaric Yawps:

At 30/5/07 4:26 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you read the kiss-ass review of this abomination in the New York Times last week? Instead of ridiculing the "museum" for what it is (a multi-million dollar amusement park built to poison the minds of children everywhere) they gave a ringing endorsement. Given that 3 Republican candidates for President don't believe in evolution, maybe we can have the next Prez give the inaugural at the museum...

 
At 30/5/07 9:49 pm, Blogger tina said...

Given that 3 Republican candidates for President don't believe in evolution, maybe we can have the next Prez give the inaugural at the museum...

No no no no no! Don't say that. Hopefully the next president will have some damn sense! This museum just makes me scratch my head in wonder.

 
At 30/5/07 10:11 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

I saw that review, yeah. It was pretty fucking bad - not too much I hate more than "showing both sides of the 'debate'" when there's only one. Like saying "2+2=4, unless you're a Methodist, in which case it =5. Let's give voice to the controversy". Fucking retards.

And I saw that three of those dipshits don't "believe" in evolution. Thankfully, you don't have to believe in it for it to be true.

 
At 31/5/07 11:53 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Salon had a horrifically uncritical review as well. And why were most of the tourists interviewed for that article from my home state of Michigan? Being so close to Canada, you'd think Michiganders would tend toward rationality. But, no, apparently we are idiots who waste our vacation dollars visiting stupid bible dioramas. At least they made Eve hot. But if Michiganders want hot, why not head on over to Windsor for the strippers and hookers?

 
At 31/5/07 1:03 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

I saw PZ's critique of the Salon article and decided not to read it. It hurts my fuckin' head to read silly shit so I avoided it.

Really? Eve's hot in the "museum"? If Eve was sculpted to look like Cuddy on House I might be tempted to show up. Would it be wrong to masturbate in the bible diorama?

 
At 31/5/07 2:15 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't get me wrong, she's only hot in a creepy mannequin kind of way, but in comparison to Adam, who they made to look vaguely like a young Kris Kristofferson crossed with an old GI Joe doll, she's lovely. But I bet more than a few fundy boys get in trouble for surrendering to the temptation to peek behind her carefully placed hair or lily pads. Frankly, I'm surprised they made them both slightly swarthy brunettes rather than blatantly northern European blondes.

You can check out just the picture here without risking your sanity by accidentally reading any of the inane story.

Sadly, given how frequently fundy leaders are busted in sex scandals, I'd bet that you wouldn't be the first person to masturbate in the bible diorama. So watch where you step.

And Cuddy is totally hot.

 
At 31/5/07 2:38 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

hahahahahaha! That picture totally reminds me of the sex scene in Team America: World Police! If only someone would sneak in there and set it up so Adam was giving Eve a golden shower (speaking of religious leaders jerking off...)

 
At 31/5/07 4:11 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I had seen it without the context of the article, I would have assumed some obsessive fan of planet of the apes created a diorama to memorialize the love between Nova and Taylor.

 
At 3/6/07 1:43 am, Blogger MothandRust said...

Dinosaurs were all herbivore? (sigh) hmm.. velociraptors with their huge sharp teeth and talons were vegetarians?

Man, I'm telling ya... there must have been some shit-scared tomatoes in those days.

 
At 3/6/07 10:19 pm, Blogger Fiery Ewok said...

If animals were vegetarians until Adam sinned the first sin, then when the fark did Noah's ark set sail? Wasn't that way long way long wayyyyyyy long after the eviction from the garden of eden?

Therefore- dinosaurs- not vegetarians. Right? Did I miss something? Fundies make my head hurt.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home