The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

This Is The Mentality I'm Dealing With....

Jesus christ. I did a post a while back where I called D.D. Palmer (founder of chiropractic) a "douchebag". Recently, I got one asshat rambling incoherently about "five-to-eight minute stomach lining replacement" and now I get this fucknut:
There is alot of under-educated speaking going on here, and it's pretty sad that some guy with horns glued onto his head (looks much like Satan) can rant about things to which he does not know. So you read a Chiropractic School's web page. Good for you. You don't have Dr. in front of your name, and you didn't take the time to learn the art of Chiropractic in it's entirety. It's too bad. God gave us the innate power to heal from within...why do your cuts heal and form a scab? That's it right there!

The spine encases the spinal cord. Each spinal nerve that exits through the spine goes to an organ or tissue in your body. That's why Chiropractic can help your body heal all of the parts of your body. The "life force" is your nervous system. You can live roughly 7 minutes without Oxygen before you die, and you probably wouldn't want to be awoken after that: You can live about .7 seconds without a nerve impulse. Nerve impulses are the "life force". Subluxation causes impingement on the nerve, thus creating a disturbance of those nerve impulses, in which they can not be recieved by the tissue.

Stop being so ignorant, and open your eyes!
Ok, point one: "alot" isn't a word, it's two words. "A lot". Please get it right. Two, the horns are not glued to my head. If you look closely, there's a little string thing that's holding them on.

Now to the retarded shit. No, I don't have "Dr." before my name, but if you do and you're still saying helmet-headed bullpucky like, "God gave us the innate power to heal from within...why do your cuts heal and form a scab?", then you're fucking hopeless and you should start making plans to avoid breeding right now. Are you fucking serious?! Why do your cuts heal? Scabs? Do you know anything about the body? Platelets forming a clot, white blood cells cleaning up the foreign material while fibrin weaves a scab along with plasma...any of this starting to ring a bell? I'm not seeing God anywhere...maybe because there is no God. Sorry to pop that fuckin' comfort balloon, but someone had to do it. Look up the rest, Doc, I'm not in the mood to do the homework that you obviously copied from the smart kids.

If the "life force" is your nervous system, why not just say "nervous system"? Leave out the mystical shit altogether. Then you say that the "life force" is "nerve impulses". Which is it? Get your shit together before picking an argument, please.

And you know what else? Fuck you - maybe I like looking like Satan.

12 Barbaric Yawps:

At 15/5/07 1:59 pm, Blogger Socialist Libertarian said...

There are cunts everywhere, and one found his way to your (wonderful) blog.

At least the crazy ones are amusing, though.

At 15/5/07 8:40 pm, Blogger Paul said...

The only way I would let a Chiropractor touch me is if she looked like Salma Hayek and she wanted to jerk me off.

Chiropractor's are not real Doctors, shit they don't even need a real college diploma. They're quacks and con men, not any better than a sleezy televangelist.

At 15/5/07 11:12 pm, Blogger Paul said...

One of my biggest pet peeves is the fact that the term "doctor" is not legally protected in any way. As far as I'm concerned, it should be illegal for these asshat CAMholes to call themselves "doctors."

"Doctor" of Chiropracty.

"Doctor" of Homeopathy.

Naturopathic "doctor."

Give me a fucking break!

At 16/5/07 3:19 am, Blogger 01 said...

I dunno if you've seen it, but there was some pretty good basic info on chiropractic over at Skeptoid the other day: here.

Good stuff!

At 16/5/07 3:40 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I could remember the source, but I read -very recently- that chiropractors, and the practice of chiropractics, is being re-evaluated by several state licensing boards due to the HUGE incidence of spinal cord damage FROM the practice. Arg! I wish I could remember where I read that now.

I went to a chiro once... when I was about fifteen and my mother went through a "new age" stint. I was a gymnast and skater, which meant that my back was tragically messed up anyway, and this guy started doing all of this "manipulating". The end result was that I couldn't feel my left foot for a few days. When you think about it- all of that popping is really nothing more than fluid rapidly being forced out of the spaces it normally sits. So, how is that helping things?

There was a video on Discovery Health that showed a chiro doing a "sublaxation" (or something like that) on a 13 month old infant and her four year old sister. I was horrified. Once false move and that guy could've paralyzed both of those kids. There's a reason you're not supposed to fuck with someone's neck and spine.

At 16/5/07 9:09 am, Blogger tina said...

I think the horns are a nice touch...they're not real??

At 16/5/07 9:46 am, Blogger ordinarygirl said...

I worked at a chiropractic office when I was in college. I never saw any miracles of healing. All I ever saw was the calculations of how much insurance money was left so that they could let the patient know they were healed before it ran out.

At 16/5/07 8:48 pm, Blogger jlwright said...

Yeah, chiropractors are snake oil bullshit artists. But, you hit my real pet peeve on the head, namely dipshits who don't seem to know how to spell a lot. It's four fucking letters, how hard is it?

At 18/5/07 4:59 pm, Blogger Stew said...

Mike, congrats on a great rant. Everything a good rant should have, a halfwit as a target, some good swearing and funny with it.

At 21/5/07 6:20 pm, Anonymous freelancer said...


(delurking for a moment)
I am inclined to agree with your opinion of the general quackery of these wacked trolls. They could easily be callers for Coast to Coast.

However, I must bring an anecdotal example that is VERY recent to your attention:

Thursday before last (may 10th) I was assisting my father in building a storage shed for his backyard. Stupidly, while lifting several 4'X 8' Exterior siding panels the wrong way, I managed to pull lower back muscles, causing severe pain, and near immobility.

My mother is a nurse, and the hospital staff she works with referred me to the "best" treatment center available in the area, Nebraska Spine Center.
I called them about treatment and they said that for muscle tissue injuries, I wouldn't be seeing one of their physicians, but their chiropractor was available. I cringed and told them I'd call them back.

I called my mother and went off on a rant about how chiropractors were all bullshit quacks, and she got pissy, understandably, because I have no degree in medicine, so who was I to argue? blah blah blah.

After 3 days of lying on the couch and moving around in excruciating pain only when necessary to go to the bathroom or eat, I called and got an appt.

The guy I saw was a D.C. educated at Rockhurst and then a chiropractic school, both in KC. The first thing I said laying down, was a question:

"Now this isn't gonna be anything holistic, or with pseudoscientific bullshit is it?"
"Uhm, no."
"I mean you seem like a nice guy, and I don't want to come across like a douchebag or anything, but my back is really sore, the muscles, not the spine area, and that means that I either pulled, strained, or tore muscle tissue. You start talking about Chi and life-forces and my "aura" and I'm gone."
He laughed, said, "No, I'm not gonna do anythig like that," and confessed that skepticism like mine went with the territory.

But anyway, over 3 appointments, all with him treating my injury like most reasonable clinicians would: physical therapy, deep tissue massage, stretches, and electronic muscle stimulation (very mild, not shocking the tissue to rebuild. Muscle tension causes tissue to lock up and protect joints. The e-stim(his name for it)cleared the muscle memory of its knowledge to stay locked up, and reduce the pain.) Sounds like bullshit, I know, but it worked, and apparently muscular electrotherapy can be effective in reducing acute pain over a short term span (a few days)

I do NOT recommend it for labor pains though, like the article suggests, I can easily see how that could fail.

Anyway, I just wanted to rebut the generalization that ALL Doctors Chiropractic were quacks. Mine was okay,(again, I admit, Anecdotal and Personal Experience is Not Evidence), but I think the only difference between the treatment he gave me, and what an MD might have done, is I might have got a prescription for some Diazepam, but I made it through fine on Advil and Aleve.


At 22/5/07 12:30 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

Hey Nick,
First off, thanks for de-lurking. Love to see that. Secondly, I totally agree with you. There are some chiros that I've seen and come across that are decent and will do what it seems like you had done (physio-type stuff, deep massage, and TENS or electro-stim). Those guys/girls are cool in my book because they are, as you mentioned, not blathering on about fucking "chi" or "life-forces" or stupid shit like that. If all chiros were like the one you saw, I don't think I'd be writing about them with so much goddamn froth in my mouth.

Froth. I may have to get a cappucino. Anyway, thanks Nick - and the rest of you too!

At 22/5/07 1:07 pm, Anonymous Nick said...

Glad to see it wasn't a head in the sand tirade. This is the kind of thing I LOVE to see in skeptics and rationalists, is the ability to concede. In a dogmatist or a fundie, you will never find it, ever.

Believe me, I was as suprised as you might have been to have found the guy not only credible, but we also discussed modern perception of science, as well as rationalism. We had both read and greatly valued Dawkins, Sagan, and Hawking.

The idea I find hilarious about what I went through last week, your post, and the reaction to it, is that of all the subjects encompassed by modern skepticism, albeit UFOlogists, Moon Hoax Jackasses, Religious Fundies, Ghost Hunters, Chiros, Faith Healers, NDE's, Psychics, Etc., the subject I have been thrust into with great abandon is the only one where Flew's "No True Scotsman" fallacy actually seems to apply.

Based on Empirical Evidence, not one affiliate or self-described of the any of the aforementioned groups has any ground to stand on, but in the case of Chiropractic care, there seems to actually be True Chiropractors vs. parasitic charlatans.

Though, if I had been defrauded it would have helped had he actually been a she and resembled Salma Hayek, and not a middleaged swarthy dude with a receding hairline.



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