The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Don't Crash Near a Church

I was watching Discovery and saw a show about a chick who crashed while skydiving. She landed, after falling about 10,000 feet, face-first in the parking lot of a church. Once the boyfriend/instructor landed and ran over to help his just-about-dead partner, a bunch of church people came out. The BF told someone to go call 911, which they did - three guesses what the rest of the churchies did. I'll do the first two guesses for you:

1. They sang Bootylicious and danced provocatively.

2. They had a bar-bee-que all southern style with grits and such.

What's three? They held hands and said a prayer. Yeah, don't bother seeing if you have a FUCKING FIRST AID KIT or anything, just talk to your invisible friend. That'll do way more for my girlfriend who's teeth are imbedded in the lane markings and who's face is drenched in fucking blood. Thanks tons. Douchebags.

And you wonder why church membership is declining.

5 Barbaric Yawps:

At 25/6/07 2:16 pm, Anonymous freelancer said...

They had a article in the back of Today's USA TODAY, about how the number of US Catholics might not be accurate and how the church is losing numbers.

Usually the USA today is the most pandering of all print media, so I was quite surprised to see the statistical analysis of what was happening to most lasped catholics. The Largest amount leaving the church, 28%, were listed as NO RELIGION.

As a kid subjected to 13 years of Catholic indoctrination, I see this as an encouraging sign.

At 25/6/07 3:37 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think, had I fallen from a plane, I would've preferred to see the Bootylishous homage before seeing a bunch of people praying. With the former, I might go out laughing. What the latter, I'd just be pissed.


At 25/6/07 6:32 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

No, no...I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

At 9/7/07 4:08 pm, Blogger Tommy said...

Freelancer, the decline in Catholic church membership would probably be even more pronounced in the absence of large numbers of Catholic immigrants from Latin America.

At 7/2/11 6:02 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen. Once I got my car stuck while trying to turn around in a Church parking lot. I was hugely pregnant, had a small child in the back seat and thought it a "blessing" that the service was ending. Some looked and left. Some looked and laughed. Not one church mouse came to give me a hand. (Well, they had their good clothes on!)


Post a Comment

<< Home