The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Tormented Tommy Tester a Tremendous Twit

Oh man, is this hilarious or what? This Christian radio DJ and minister named Tommy Tester was arrested for driving drunk, peeing in front of some kids at a car wash, and propositioning police officers for oral sex, all whilst wearing a dress. Folks, it just doesn't get any better than that.

Almost the funniest part is that Tester's employer-radio station is "asking for prayers". You know, if your fucked up "god" isn't cool enough to give life to a kid with cancer, then your drunken, pervy, peeing, orally-fixated, minister-in-a-dress doesn't stand much of a chance of being successfully forced into celestial rehab. What a fucking waste of space.

Oh, and let's not forget the empty bottle of oxycodone in his car. That, along with the rest of the shit in the first paragraph, is the best part.

Whenever I hear about a priest losing his mind and getting a kid to blow him or driving around high, drunk and in a dress, I always wonder why they do it? I mean, is it that the rules are so restrictive? Is it that there was always the underlying perversion/desire and it was just held in check for so long that it was like that football player a while back that had an addiction to blow so bad he ended up snorting lines off the bench - it just had to explode out and, fuck it, if I'm going to do this, then let's just throw on the little black dress, whip the cock out in front of some schoolchildren and suck off a cop? Such an intriguing question for court-appointed psychologists to delve into....

And really, look at the guy. It's as if Scooter from the Muppet Show and Police Chief Clancy Wiggum had a kid. Fuck me.

Thanks tons to Kate for inspiring me today!

5 Barbaric Yawps:

At 3/8/07 10:15 am, Anonymous Kate said...

No, thank you!

 
At 3/8/07 11:26 am, Blogger King Aardvark said...

That's hilarious. Seriously though, I wonder if it is the repression that causes strongly religious people to occasionally snap. Most seem to handle it ok, but then there are some spectacular blowouts.

Hope you and baby are doing well.

 
At 3/8/07 11:57 am, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

I'm sure it's gotta be something to do with repression of base urges. Gotta be. I'm almost inclined to be happy that they have those stupid rules as the blowouts are SO much fun.

And thanks, brother. Life is good over here! We really should hook up for some wings and beer or something.

 
At 3/8/07 5:56 pm, Blogger StefRobrts said...

I don't know if repression causes the blowouts, or if these people have tenancies that way, and that's what leads them to ultra religious (in denial) lives.

The thing that gets me is that the christians are so dang 'forgiving' that it will all be forgotten. They'll welcome him back into the flock (after all, they all love the prodigal son), he'll find God again in jail, he'll give tearful speeches about how the devil made him do it - whatever. Remember, Jubus died for their sins, so as soon as he calls out his belief in him, he's off the hook. Like the bumper sticker says - not perfect, just forgiven.

 
At 7/8/07 8:55 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was in this part of the country last week. Just days before he had his meltdown, my husband and I were run out of a restaurant by OUR SERVER trying to convert us. He said that "nonbelievers are such uncompassionate people". I had enough compassion not to hit him, though. There is definitely a mindset down there that it's fine to let your religion hang out all over the place (if it's an accepted version of Christianity, that is). They'll probably make up some more bs to justify his behavior - maybe he had the devil in 'em! (Erin in NJ)

 

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