The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

How Many Retards on the Head of a Pin?

I'm sure there are smart Hollywood types. They've gotta be out there somewhere. Just by the number of people acting in movies there's probably a couple hundred smartish folks who don't believe in ridiculous horse-shit...and they're probably really pissed at Madonna.

See, Madonna says that she's an "ambassador for Judaism". She said that to Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres. How'd she get to meet with the Israeli PM, Mike? Well, that's a fabulous question to which I have no answer. Maybe he thought her tits were actually that pointy and needed to see for himself. I can see that conversation now:
Aide: So Madonna wants to meet you.
Peres: Really?
Aide: Yep. She's in the country with some other Hollywood types for a Kabbalah conference and thought she'd ask for an audience with you.
Peres: Are her tits actually pointy like in that video? 'Cause I'd be curious to see those.
Aide: Not sure, but I can get her here so you can check 'em out if you like.
Peres: Good. Make it happen.
That would be killer.

She gave Peres a copy of the Book of Splendor, which sounds like a cookbook for foods with sugar substitute. She said, "You don't know how popular the Book of Splendor is among Hollywood actors,...Everyone I meet talks to me only about that. I am an ambassador for Judaism." Now, to be fair, Madonna hangs with a crew of dumbasses so of course they think some fucked up book is going to be the shit - plus, *Madonna* said it was awesome, so it must be!

When are people going to learn that just because someone is popular or talented in some area, it doesn't mean they have any answers to questions or philosophical problems that have nothing to do with their field. I mean, Madonna sang about virgins and material wealth and strippers and stuff; she has no say in world politics. How the fuck does she get to meet the Prime Minister of anywhere?! She should be thankful if she gets to chat with the fucking Burger King.

And look at who they name as the other Hollywood stars attending the Kabbalah conference - Demi Moore, of course, with Ashton in tow. These two are fucked in the head from the word go. Kutcher made a film and refused to take off the retarded red string from his wrist, forcing the editors to digitally remove it in post-production, costing the filmmakers an extra hundred grand (if my memory serves me correctly). That's fucking top-shelf handicapped. He said to a group he was speaking to that, "Kabbalah had answered fundamental questions in his life and made him a better actor." I figured that he was on the right track, because when I watched Dude, Where's My Car?, I thought, shit...now there's a kid who knows acting and has his life together. This movie was in no way a waste of my time or money.

Oh, and don't forget Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah, the poster child for fucked-up-edness who used to break her own hands for attention - that's the person from whom you want to take life-cues.

I really can't believe that (a) people listen to anything Madonna says or (b)that she gets to meet actual important people. She should be signing autographs to pre-pubes in a fucking strip mall now, not promoting some pseudo-scientific bullshit to her tweenie fans. She needs to grow up and everyone else involved in Kabbalah or whatever the hell other stupid celebrity-religious fad-of-the-week needs to fucking get a life.

I need to go to bed. Thanks for listening

1 Barbaric Yawps:

At 17/9/07 1:34 pm, Blogger King Aardvark said...

I certainly wouldn't want a meeting with the Burger King. That guy freaks me out, with his big, unmoving creepy perma-smile and all. At least he'd feed me when I visited though.

As for why people pay attention to her, I'm going to be pulling at straws. The Israeli PM will talk to her because he knows that a large fraction of his sheep-like population (applies to most of the population of all countries) pays attention to her, therefore it's good publicity for him. Unfortunately, this results in a destructive feedback cycle, as it makes it more acceptable for the population to take Madonna and her ilk seriously, which makes it more necessary to politically pander to her, etc.

As for why the sheep pay attention, it's probably a by-product of our evolution. You do what the powerful and popular members of your tribe do.

On the other hand, maybe Peres wanted to ask her about that fake English accent she uses now.

And speaking of Ashton Kutcher, my wife likes Dude, Where's My Car? and thinks I should see it.

 

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