The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Monday, December 31, 2007

New Header Pic

I'm messing with the header picture (as if you didn't notice if you're reading this) and yes, I know, this one's crap. I'm going to tweak it over the next few days and it'll get better.

Have a fun and safe new year's eve!

(edit - I like this image a bit better)

Sunday, December 30, 2007

GSP!

georges-st-pierre
I just have to say that I'm WAY PSYCHED that Georges St. Pierre completely owned (pwned?) Matt Hughes tonight. Matt Serra better work the fuck out because GSP looked unstoppable.

Congrats to the soon-to-be-again welterweight champ!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Things That Don't Suck

With some of the moolas I so generously received from family Christmas gifts, today I picked up The Portable Atheist, Hitchens' new compilation of "must reads" that I'm itching to get into. I also purchased the Human Rights Watch 2007 List which looks really interesting to peruse.

Oh, and a capo and guitar strap. Rock on, my friends. Rock on.

I'm on a little bit of a break to chill with the family, but I'll be back in full swing with posts and podcasts in less than a week. Everyone have a bitchin' and safe new year's eve.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Mike Huckabee Is An Ignorant Christian Douche

Once again, the stupidity of Mike fuckin' Huckabee laid bare for all to see and disembowel. If you live in the U.S., please don't vote for this retard.

(hat tip to the always great One Good Move - also check out Bill Maher's list of 2007's Biggest Dickheads. It's great.)

Something To Remember

Axial Tilt
Just in case someone throws "Jesus" out as the "reason". You can confidently print this off, show it to the churchie, and state, "Axial tilt, sir (or ma'am). Look it up."
(thanks to βper for pointing out the error in my last image!)

Sir Isaac!

So tomorrow is Isaac Newton's birthday! (Yeah, yeah, on the Julian calendar, whatever, Picky McGee. At least he was a real person born on that date on some calendar, unlike another person I could mention....) He was brilliant, possibly autistic, likely a virgin, and arguably the most phenomenal mind to ever walk the planet. Tip a pint for the famous fella, will ya?* Thanks. Sir Isaac Motherfuckin' Newton
*actually, a tea might be more in line with what he would prefer, as he was really religious. We won't fault him for that though.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

SC #76

Well rub my chest and call me Vicks, another Skeptic's Circle is up over at Aardvarchaeology. Do yourself a favor and go check out the best in skeptical blogging from the last two weeks.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

How Bill O'Reilly Is Just Like Chiropractic or Iridology

I know, weird title. Think about it though, it's a pretty interesting parallel. Bill O'Reilly declares that there's a non-existant War on Christmas a couple of years ago (from at least 2005), then he brings it up the next few years, and now he has declared victory in said "War". He's the savior, of course and, Oh, Let the Angels Regurgitate...sorry "Rejoice".

It's a perfect closed loop. Some chiropractors do the same thing in that they "diagnose" you with a "subluxation" that's causing some health disorder, then they fix the "problem" with an "adjustment" which makes you all better - which you were in the first place. Thirty-five dollars plus the assessment fee, please.

Iridologists are even worse; at least from chiros you might get a half-decent massage, but they eye weirdos just have no idea what the fuck they're doing. Uneducated wannabes looking for flecks in people's irises and then dispensing medical advice about what to do about the "blockage in their bowels."

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that all these folks are full of shit.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I Says, "Pardon?"

In the last week or so I wrote about the Qatif Girl and her ridiculous punishment sentenced to her after being gang raped. Well, news comes out now that she has been pardoned by the Crown Prince, King fuckin' Grand PooBah of Saudi Arabia.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not glad that the poor girl's sentence isn't going to be carried out - that's fantastic. It's only human. The thing that kills me is that she wasn't pardoned because the King said to himself, "You know, this is just wrong. We shouldn't punish a rape victim...that's just inherently a bad thing and we should change the laws here." She was pardoned because of the international pressure that was making his country look bad:
Justice Minister Abdullah al-Sheikh said the king had the right to issue pardons if it served the public interest.
Yeah, the public's interest - not the girl who was nearly killed because of backward and insane laws.

Of course the usual douchebags are upset that they don't get to see the lashings:
the king's decision to pardon the woman victim is already arousing controversy with some contributors to conservative websites, who say he has breached the rules of religion in order to appease critics in the West.
You know what, don't do us any favors, Flapjack. It's not like that poor girl isn't going to be killed by one of you asshats in a few days (or, more likely, her brother) because you're upset you didn't get to beat the shit out of a woman. What a bunch of dickless little pussies you are. "Let us assert our manhood by whipping a girl or we'll whine on our websites - that are, incidentally, loaded with gay porn."

Speaking of that, I believe homosexuality is punishable by death in Saudi Arabia...so why aren't the fuckholes who raped the man (a huge sign of repressed gayness if ever there was one - fucking a man against his will) getting this little nugget imposed on them? Yeah, some of them got jail time but only after the husband of the rape victim harassed the "police". Please.
The US had called the punishment "astonishing", although it refused to condemn the Saudi justice system.
Gee, I wonder why?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Podcast 3

Ok, so here's the third in the series of recent podcasts. I'm really enjoying making these and playing around with the audio thingy (Audacity). This one's only about 5 minutes or thereabouts so I hope the brevity is alright. As always, let me know what you think and have a safe/fun holiday.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Deepak Winfrey and her Millions!

The new issues of Oprah's vanity-and-fluff magazine O, as well as the "we run the same must-know sex trick article every fucking month" magazine, Cosmopolitan, are only putting the Canadian price on the cover. They say this is to "avoid confusion" between the U.S. price and the Canadian cost. Apparently two sets of numbers clearly labelled "U.S." and "Can." are too confusing for us backward Northeners.

Of course, what it's really about is blatantly overcharging Canadian customers by as much as 30% for the same bullshit they unload south of the border and eliminating the obvious discrepancy. When the currencies are basically at parity, there's no excuse to keep the inflated price, but Oprah loves that money, so she breaks out the Professional Size Fuck Your Ass dildo and inserts as required.

Deepak Winfrey - yeah, that about sums her up. Pawning off stupid feel-good pablum to the ignorant masses while swimming all night in her money pool, Scrooge McDuck style.Scrooge McDuck Money Pool
I wish karma was real so I could watch a girl from Oprah's "leadership academy" grow up and just take everything from her. Set Oprah back to her humble beginnings, all because a young girl saw through the bullshit and did us all a favor.

Ah well, we know the reality, let's not mess with fantasy.

Seven Weird Things Meme

I was tagged by Frank over at Salad is Slaughter with this meme where I have to tell everyone seven random and/or weird things about me. Ok, here goes:

1. No one can touch my bellybutton. Ever.

2. I used to have a Black Devil gerbil named Jack. He was named that because the first time I held him in my fist and his little head stuck up it reminded me of that Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck cartoon where they climb the beanstalk and meet the giant. He scoops them up and looks at them, their two heads sticking up, Bugs slyly points at Daffy and says, "He's Jack." Still makes me laugh.

3. I once punched my best friend in the face in a bar because he thought it was a good joke to, while I was gone to the bathroom, stir my beer with his dick. Needless to say, we were in Halifax and everything continued as normal afterwards.

4. I have lost at bowling to a mentally challenged man in a wheelchair. More than once.

5. I almost wasn't born. My dad was in the seminary in the late 60's studying to be a foreign missionary. He was one year away from becoming a priest. Thankfully (on many levels) he left that place, got a job, met my mom, and in December of 1970, there I was. Go Dad. Thanks again for that decision.

6. I can recite, from memory, the entire Dr. Evil speech from the first Austin Powers movie. The one that starts with, "Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet." Seriously, the whole thing. And I don't know why.

7. My absolute favorite song to sing at a karaoke bar is Kiss by Prince. I'm really good at it and it usually gets huge applause. I only brag because there's about 5 things in life that I'm actually good at, and that's one of them. Pretty much everything you can name, I'll suck at, but I'll sing you some fucking Prince, my friend.

I shall tag...
Orac at Respectful Insolence
The Gang over at Skepchicks
Paul at Aurora Walking Vacation
Phil at Bad Astronomy
Sean at Sean the Blogonaut
and my friend Melissa

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Senseless Tragedy For No Reason - Thanks, Islam

Friends at the victim’s school said she feared her father and had argued over her desire to shun the hijab, a traditional shoulder-length head scarf worn by females in devout Muslim families.
Aqsa Parvez, a 16 year-old high school student was beaten to death by her father in West Toronto recently. She wanted to dress like her friends because, you know, she was raised in Canada, but her psycho father and brother had other ideas.

Interesting side-note: her father was named Muhammad - shocker, I know - someone named after their "great prophet" doing the unthinkable in the name of his archaic, misogynistic, fucking retarded religion. I'd rather he be named "Murray" or something and give the name Muhammad to the bear.

This sad story is a great example of a couple of things: One is that religion can make you do crazy things. This asshole was obviously disturbed, but his belief in Islam's "teachings" had a big fat fucking hand in leading him down the pathway to insanity. Sort of like the lunatics killing women in Basra, Southern Iraq. So far 40 have been found, but there's likely a lot more, all because idiots like this Muhammad retard think women should dress like fucking bee-keepers and not be sexual in any way.

The second thing this killing illustrates is that your religion is not the religion of your children. Being of a certain faith (or none at all) is a choice made by people of the age to understand what they're choosing. You cannot force someone to believe what you do, especially if what you believe is patently fucking insane and abusive. Trying to beat someone into submission results in one of three outcomes - i) the beaten person cowers and succumbs, secretly hating you for their entire life; ii) the beaten person survives the thrashings and sees you as a terrible example of faith, usually going on to embrace another religion, or none at all; iii) or the beaten person dies from the abuse.

By the way, if anyone wants to read a great book on the topic you should pick up a copy of Misogyny: The World's Oldest Prejudice by Jack Holland. I couldn't stop reading it and there's underlining throughout my copy. Here is a short exerpt that seemed relevant to this topic:
The Islamic medieval theologian Ghazali (1058-1111) expressed the same familiar misogyny as his Christian and Jewish counterparts when he stated: 'It is a fact that all the trials, misfortunes, and woes which befall men come from women.' He lists the eighteen punishments women must suffer as a result of Eve's disobedience. Among them are menstruation, childbirth, and pregnancy. But he is careful to go beyond the biological to include in the list purely social customs deeply prejudicial to women, such as 'not having control over her own person...her liability to be divorced and inability to divorce...its being lawful for a man to have four wives, but for a woman to have (only) one husband...the fact that she must keep her head covered inside the house...that two women's testimony (has to be) set against the testimony of one man...the fact that she must not go out of the house unless accompanied by a near relative.' pg.255
Please note the dates and remember that this sort of shit has been going on for a long long time in Islam. Keep that little nugget in your head the next time some apologist gives that, "religion of peace" bullshit.
"She just wanted to show her beauty. She just wanted freedom, freedom from her parents."
Killing your children is the end result of thinking that the story of Abraham and Isaac is a nice story. Putting your faith above your family is a sign that you possess a serious mental disease. You'd think this young girl could have had freedom in Canada but it's people like her dad and brother who need to go live in a crazy theocracy somewhere. This man and his idiot son need to deported to Saudi Arabia or some other silly place. They should not be welcome in a country that values freedom of the individual, like ours.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Challenge Religion Rankings

I sorta dig the rankings of this site. It (along with Mojoey's atheist blogroll) introduces new blogs that I might have otherwise missed. Check it out!

CHALLENGERELIGION.COM


And no, I'm not on the rankings yet. I just like the concept.

Thanks, Big John McCarthy

Following this past Saturday's UFC Ultimate Fighter Live finale, the best referee in the business, Big John McCarthy, retired as an active ref. For those who follow the sport of MMA, Big John has been around since 1994 at UFC 2 and has been a fixture throughout the sport's development.

His trademark fight-starter of, "Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's get it on!", has been etched in the minds of viewers and fighters alike for years now and with the MMA fans it is more popular than Michael Buffer's famous, "Are you ready to Rummbblllllllllllle?!" It's more concise, to the point, and less showy, like the fights themselves.

Big John McCarthy will be missed by many, not the least of whom is this blogger, a fan of MMA since UFC 1. Thanks to the best referee out there who always put the fighter's safety first.Big John McCarthy and Randy

Monday, December 10, 2007

Lourdes Trip Saves Burning!

The Delusional Lord of Hats (aka Benny) made a ridiculous statement the other day. He said that if you make a pilgrimage to Lourdes, you get time taken off from your stay in purgatory. It's amazing to me how fucking crazy these people actually are. Someone in the comments of another post made the comparison to a bunch of doofuses playing Dungeons and Dragons, and I think that's pretty apt (nothing against the game or folks who used to or still do play - it's purely a reflection on the idiots in Rome).

The best part though, is that it's a limited time offer! It expires next year on December 8th, so if you're planning on committing any non-grievous sins, you better get your ass to Lourdes soon, pal.

Just in case you were unclear about what, exactly, purgatory is, allow me to illuminate. The article cited describes it as follows:
The Church teaches that people who do not go directly to heaven must spend time in purgatory, where they can be purified of residual sin.
Yes, "purified". When you check the Vatican website, however, the method of "purification" is a little...what's that word? "Terrifying". Yeah, that's it. Here's what the V has to say:
As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire. He who is truth says that whoever utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be pardoned neither in this age nor in the age to come. From this sentence we understand that certain offenses can be forgiven in this age, but certain others in the age to come. cit.
Yeah, a "purifying fire". Enjoy that. I also like the part about whoever "utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit" not being pardoned in this life or ever. In the spirit of that, Fuck the "Holy" Spirit and all the douchebags he hangs out with. Go go Blasphemy Challenge!

The Poop makes allotments for those who can't get to Lourdes, so you financially insecure folks and you tied-up-with-work people, take heart. All you have to do is pray at a shrine dedicated to the Madonna (no, not Like a Virgin Madonna - although that would make more sense) between February 2 and February 11, 2008. That's right, you have a nine-day window to save yourself from the fires. Of purgatory. Those wacky Catholics and their fires!

Have fun, jackasses!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Podcast 2

So here's the second podcast. It's about the same length as the first one so hopefully regularity will get peeps interested. I've been using Acoustica Mixcraft but my copy is (apparently) a trial version that is finished in two days. If anyone knows of a decent recorder/MP3 maker thingy, please let me know in the comments - I'll be forever grateful. Or at least until after this month.

Pascal's Wager Illustrated

Via the always great One Good Move, click the following link to see a great comic on the infamous "wager".

Here you go.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Skeptic's Circle - The Diamond Edition

Ok, I just made that up because the 75th Edition of the Skeptic's Circle is up! Go and enjoy the best of skeptical blogging from the last two weeks.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I Missed My Blogoversary

I'm an idiot. On December 1 this blog turned two years old and I didn't remember. Ah well - thanks to everyone for reading and commenting and helping this be a very fulfilling hobby and an outlet for my writing, frustration, and occasional happiness. Hope you all have a great holiday season.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

What Did I Say About Sherri Shepard?

"I don't think anything predated Christians." Fuck me in the ass, that's right up there with all the other top-shelf stupid.

"Idiot" is all I can say. That's it.

Podcast Attempt - Dennett/D'Souza Debate Commentary

Here's my first attempt at podcasting. Let me know what you think in the comments (unless all you're going to say is, "you suck" - that's not what we call "constructive criticism"). The audio is about seven and a half minutes long and is likely NSFW because of my dirty dirty mouth.

Be patient with the player and tweak the volume so it's ok for you. I'm a technotard, so this is all new.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Unpardonable

From PZ via his insane letter from the lunatic Mr. Korn:
By request, here are the "unpardonable sins":

1. Deliberately ascribing the Holy Spirit's activity to demonic agency

2. Deliberately refusing the help of the Holy Spirit when it is available to save him from denying Jesus

3. Deliberately lying to or testing the Holy Spirit

4. Deliberately rejecting the witness of the Holy Spirit concerning Jesus
Ok, with respect to number one, I don't think the "Holy Spirit" or "demonic agencies" exist, so it's a moot point. If it's truly unpardonable though, then I agree.

Number two is easy, since the "Holy Spirit" doesn't exist, no one accepts help from it. Were "help" offered by some ghost thing, I'd probably refuse on principle, so that's handled as well.

Three...well, I'd lie to a "Holy Spirit" in a heartbeat, but, again, it doesn't exist. I would love to test it, but it's difficult to test shit that is imaginary.

Lastly, I'll reject the silliness of the "Holy Spirit" all day long Been there, done that, put it on YouTube (sorry for the shitty quality).

Can I go to Hell now?

Teddy Bears for the Sudanese Embassies

Sean the Blogonaut had a great idea: Send a teddy bear to your local Sudanese embassy. It's easy, cheap, and sends a great "we don't respect your crazy rules" message. If we could get tons of people to do this, it might make the news or something. Who knows?

Hat tip to Psychodiva for the link to Sean.

I Prefer Rum and Sodomy with my Lash, But I Guess Brits & Teddies Will Have To Do

The president of Sudan finally pardoned that British schoolteacher, one Ms. Gibbons, for allowing her six and seven year old students to name a teddy bear "Muhammed". It's about fucking time, but did the president of the country really have to get involved?

I've said it before, overbearing religion acts like your parents. When thousands of Sudanese poured out of mosques, all rallied up and ready for a lynchin' and a lashin', they needed to be calmed down like a bunch of hyperactive, well, six and seven year olds. They were told that the teacher was "just" going to get 15 days in prison and deportation, but that wasn't good enough (with a crossing of the arms and a *stomp* *stomp* of the foot).

Offenses against God or Muhammed (peace be upon him) must be punished because after creating the Heavens and the Earth and all that dwell here, he's a bit tired and can't do his own retributions anymore. If someone offends him now, he sort of has to lay back and just sub-contract the punishments to us, the loyal followers!

Allahu Akbar? Well, I guess not so much anymore if he needs his minions to do his work for him. Pat Condell lays bare the stupidity of the "crime of blasphemy" at the 3:10 mark, check it out (and his other great videos, too).

I wonder if the Muslims in Sudan will go after Omar al-Bashir now because he denied "God's punishment"? Those wacky fundies will always find someone to kick the fuck out of!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

John Butler is a Guitar God

Check out this interview about guitar featuring John Butler. It's crazy, particularly the section at about 3:20.

Desperate Pope-Lives

The Pope issued an "encyclical" through the New York Times today that was just painful to read. It was like a desperate letter from a guy trying to keep his job after he'd been given notice. Just look at the tired old crap, recycled and spewed out to the "faithful" as if it were inspired literature:
Atheism has led to some of the “greatest forms of cruelty and violations of justice” known to mankind...(and) that humanity would not be saved by scientific progress or political revolution, but only in the hope offered by Christianity.
Yes, our Invisible Sky-Daddy is the only hope. Not the scientific advancements that allow me to dispense this message around the world in mere seconds. Not by the medicine that saves lives and gives hope to millions who are plagued with diseases. Only religion can save the world. If I may paraphrase Moe, "TV off, douchebag."

If anything illustrates the ignorance of this man, it might be this phrase:
'A world which has to create its own justice is a world without hope...'
Not to burst his bubble, but we've always created or own justice, many times based on his beloved religious principles and his spectacular literary waste of time, the Bible. We all know how well that turned out. When we make laws and regulations based on humanity, empathy, reciprocity, and intelligence we, more often than not, get it right. When we don't and we rely on Bronze-Age books, well, we burn people at the stake, whip them for misnaming teddy-bears, and legislate prejudices.

Pope Benny then tried to state the "atheist position" by saying that we godless heathens think, “a world marked by so much injustice, innocent suffering and cynicism of power cannot be the work of a good God”. That's not correct. We believe that this is a natural world with not a one supernatural puppeteer up in the sky. As such, we think that this world, complete with its injustices and innocent suffering is the work of us. Nature cares not whether we live or die, it's indifferent. Most of humanity is good, a percentage is bad, and it is in this division that evil and suffering dwell. Only someone as drenched in bullshit as the Pope puts "God" in the minds of people who have no belief.

Benny talks about hope and how we cannot achieve a peaceful world without supernatural help:
It is no accident that this idea (atheism) has led to the greatest forms of cruelty and violations of justice: rather it is grounded in the intrinsic falsity of the claim. A world which has to create its own justice is a world without hope...the claim that humanity can and must do what no God actually does or is able to do is both presumptuous and intrinsically false”.
Can we all see what the Pope (and, by extension, his entire religion) has to lose if we live in peace and harmony? He needs hopelessness and despair. He needs suffering and horror. If the world, or even just good, godless folk the world over, treat each other well, with respect, and offer lives filled with promise, hope, health and happiness - well, fuck, he's out of a job, ain't he? It is for this reason that religion thrives in the shitholes of the world; it's a requirement for the hope in miracles and Sky-Daddies. You want hopeless, here's what Benny says:
“We must do all we can to overcome suffering, but to banish it from the world is not in our power. Only God is able to do this.”
Hopeless, indeed.

He then gets a good laugh from this:
He (the Pope) said that faith in progress through science was illusory
This is just too stupid to even entertain as a possible "argument".

Finally, a plea. Getting back to the desperation he showed in the beginning, he devles into the afterlife with this offering:
many people reject faith today, “simply because they do not find the prospect of eternal life attractive. What they desire is not eternal life at all, but this present life, for which faith in eternal life seems something of an impediment. To continue living forever – endlessly – appears more like a curse than a gift”. But he concluded that Eternity was “not an unending succession of days in the calendar” but an encounter with Christ after death which is “like plunging into an ocean of infinite love, a moment in which time, the before and after, no longer exists”.
When he encounters the obvious point that an everlasting life might be boring, when most people get shack-whacky on a lazy Sunday morning (whoops!), he has to offer only made-up platitudes about being "with Christ". Lame attempts to appeal to folks with fantastical inanities about "plunging into an ocean of infinite love" only highlight the fact that the man has never experienced a true relationship. Many of us are in that ocean right now, asshole, and your blathering only makes you look like the geek-pimp you are. All dressed up, never been kissed. It's sad to see someone cling to delusion so desperately....

On a fun note, take a look at the Top 20 'Offenses Against Religion' in the advertisments of the linked page. Number one? The fucking Danish cartoons. Drawings. How pointless can 100 deaths be, exactly? Tell me again how religious laws are better and how Sky-Daddy belief makes this planet and humanity better?