The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Deepak on Big Ideas

Big Ideas had Douchepak Chumpra lecturing on the topic of "consciousness" - which is sort of like having a babbling infant "talking" for an hour on the topic of sidereal movement. You'd get as much relevant information from both. I subjected myself to this lecture for you, my loyal readers. I don't expect much in the way of thanks...just adoration and the occasional C-note.

Alright, so Chump started with a nice story about cremating his dad. I'm being genuine for the moment - it was a nice story. Then he talked about how some kids used the draft of the cremation fire to fly their kite. Oh, and they heard a wedding band during the funeral ceremony. That's life, he says. Ok, sure, circle of life stuff; it's bland and predictable, but I'll give it a pass.

Then he said, "Life contains everything". Wow. Deep. About as deep, in fact, as a piece of wet toilet paper. That led into this pearl of Eastern Wisdom: "If you don't have a shadow, you're probably standing in the dark, because if you're standing in light, there's a shadow" ...Yeah, unless it's noon. Just so it's crystal clear, Chump's annoying blathering is extraordinarily difficult to sit through. I was trying to pay attention and I ended up drifting to more pressing mental tasks like lint-fishing in my bellybutton.

Of course, he then goes into the tired, "existence is improbable" and, "the question in science is: 'is this all a big accident'? 'Is everything totally meaningless'", bullshit. What a tremendous Douche. I mean, either he's totally clueless or he's purposefully dishonest and misleading. I think it's the former because he then said for everyone to get the "meaningless life" perspective, they should read, Richard Dawkins and "Christian Hutchens" (sic). So he's insulting and criticizing at least one person he can't even remember properly. Nice. I wonder if he thinks God Is Not Great is about an old man with a beard up in the sky. Pak says that both "Hutchens" and Dawkins are criticizing a strawman version of religion, but that outs him as either not having read the books or not understanding them. I tend to think the latter once again.

He then mumbles about how in the Universe there, "...are no random events - what we call random events are actually 'syncronocity'". Do you think he actually believes that or is he just talking about stupid shit so he can keep his nice Jag? I mean, check out this pile of retarded spew: "How can we comprehend the whole unless we go beyond ordinary states of consciousness?" What the fuck does this even mean? How does he propose to "go beyond" and still understand anything? Man, what a tremendous Douche.

Here's a couple more Lines of Classic Douche:

"Your body is recycled other bodies."

"Our thoughts are recycled information."

"In science today, we are more confused than ever." This one is only true if you replace "we are" with "I am".


"The brain responds to states within the body, not what's happening outside." This is one of the most violently stupid things that ever dripped out of a mouth-breather's face. Possibly second only to this one:
"Imagine a sunset - if I go into your brain, I won't see a picture of a sunset. How does a charge across a cell membrane make a picture?" I'm pretty sure that ignorance doesn't equal bullshit explanations being true. I mean, for fuck's sake, he asked a woman in the audience what she had for lunch. She had king salmon and when Douche asked if she remembered the experience, she said yes. He then said, "Where was that information before I asked the question? If I go in her brain...there's no place that said 'salmon for lunch'...that information wasn't in her brain, it was in her consciousness." Yeah, I know - FUCK ME! The stupid! "Where we go when we die is where that salmon is right now." So when you die you get to go chill with all the food you ever ate? Man, I bet Heaven is filled with cows who want to kick my ASS. What sort of afterlife is that? Just an endless series of beatings from all the animals I've ever eaten, eternally trying to avenge my crime of killing them for food.

After that, we got into one of Chump's must talk about, topics: the fact that, "The universe is all vibrations...While your body is doing that (vibrating), it attracts the movements of stars and planets because your biological rhythms are the symphony of the whole Universe. The reason we call it a 'universe' is, that's what it means, 'One song', and we're all part of that song." Then he mentioned Einstein's quote about God, "not playing dice with the Universe", once again illustrating his complete misunderstanding of the words of others. Einstein was, of course, referring to his dislike of the role of chance in quantum mechanics. His views on religion are illustrated by this quote:
"It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly."
You'd think Douche would have done an 8 second google search to check himself.... And his ignorance of actions at a distance is staggering. "Our vibrations" attract the movement of the stars and planets? Is he fucking serious? That's a special, extra-crispy variety of stupid.

Ok, we're getting near the end, but I have to mention that he said this: "If you watch your thoughts, you'll see that they arise and then they subside.
There was a time when this microphone didn't exist and there'll be a time when it doesn't exist...as a microphone."
My question is this: Do people actually believe this meaningless bullshit? Sure, that's a bit rhetorical because the mofo's rich as Liberace, but damn.

Lastly, we have the crowning jewel of his Choprawoo, this statement:
To be fully awake in the fullness of our own consciousness is a privilege only we have as human beings Through us and our nervous systems, the Universe has chosen to be aware of itself.
Holy woo, Batman. How does this freak know that we're the only species that are self aware? How does he know that the "Universe" chooses? How can you be older than 30 and use the phrase "to be fully awake in the fullness..."?

That's all I can stand to write about this weirdo. I'll have to go watch a physics video or something now to cleanse my brain.

5 Barbaric Yawps:

At 26/1/08 11:47 pm, Blogger Bruce said...

I think I'm actually dumber after reading this. Thanks a lot Mike.

 
At 26/1/08 11:49 pm, Anonymous Maakuz said...

My quantum personal self, who is not there but in the planets who I vibrate with, thinks this Deepak is full of "food", of whih I had no memory before typing this sentence, and which has gone through the human body, only to mentually and spiritually to become, BY its own choice, shit.

Great post, Mike! The bellybutton-thing practically got me on my knees. Here in Finland, we have Deepaks of our own. They dont get much air-time, but they are all over the magazines...

 
At 27/1/08 10:44 am, Blogger Hannah King said...

ouch, I think some of those quotes broke my brain ...

H

 
At 27/1/08 12:50 pm, Blogger Paul said...

The really sad thing to note is that there are credulous dimwits who will swallow every word.

 
At 30/1/08 2:27 pm, Blogger spajadigit said...

This reminds me of a debate a friend of mine got into about the soul- His question was, if your soul lives on after you die, but your brain is damaged in some way (like not being able to talk, or having no long/short term memory) is that the state you exist in forever?

The answer was that your consciousness is the user, and your brain is the device the user uses to interact with the world. If the device is damaged, your interaction would be garbled.

What a load of horseshit.

I liked your post...

 

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