The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Evercleanse Your Colon? How About Your Brain?

Ever heard the old urban legend about people having 20lbs of undigested meat in their colons? Well, whether you have or haven't, it's wrong. If people took seven seconds to check out what they heard, we'd all be a little better off - that goes especially for all my family and "friends" who keep sending me that fucking "Bill Gates is giving away his fortune!" chain letter.

Well never doubt the ability of shrewd marketing to turn urban legend into a money-maker. I give you Evercleanse. Evercleanse uses the fear of "toxins" and the popularity and "common sense" appeal of the "meat-gut" urban legend to get ignorant folks to take their silly shit.

Ok, bad joke. Sorry.

They say a lot of typical pseudoscience crap like:
synergistically designed to provide everything you need to cleanse, detoxify, replenish and maintain a healthy digestive system
and it claims that you will achieve...
weight loss, improved bowel function, decreased bloating and other post-meal issues, greater regularity, increased energy and vitality, better looking skin, hair and nails.
Hm...that sounds pretty good, unless you know anything about how your colon actually works. Here's a little site that pretty much picks up the Evercleanse folks, shakes them violently, anally violates them, then smacks them on the ass and lets them go. My favorite part is when she easily blows their entire "pounds of rotting poo" argument up in two short paragraphs:
Have you ever had a colonoscopy? If you have, then you know that in the days leading up to your procedure, your doctor has you follow a fairly strict regimen of food and drugs to empty your colon. Yet, no one doing this type of cleanse ever reports passing black, rubbery bowel movements like the ones you see on colon cleansing web sites. And if you've ever accompanied your spouse to his or her colonoscopy, you know that all the doctor sees is pink, clean tissue.

Where did all the "dried up" or "excess" fecal matter go? It wasn't voided during the pre-operative cleanse and it doesn't show up on camera during the procedure. Thousands of colonoscopies are perfomed every year in this country but not a single one has ever found evidence that we're all walking around with "dried up" fecal matter just waiting to make us sick.
Hmmm...Any word from the colon cleanse folks?
*cricket*
Yeah, I thought so.

4 Barbaric Yawps:

At 31/3/08 2:36 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Colour me confused. Great article debunking colon cleansing but when I look around her site she doesn't seem to be woo free. I admit that I haven't done any research in the area but aromatherapy never sounded right to me. Should I re-think this position?

 
At 31/3/08 3:29 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

I only saw the little essay on colon cleansing, so I can't vouch for her sanity in any other capacity. Aroma "therapy", um...isn't. Things smell nice and may help you relax in the same way that smelling a chocolate chip cookie or freshly baked bread makes you happy.

 
At 1/4/08 4:07 pm, Blogger King Aardvark said...

"Things smell nice and may help you relax in the same way that smelling a chocolate chip cookie or freshly baked bread makes you happy."

That's good enough for me!

[eats chocolate, fresh baked bread]
[is happy]

 
At 17/6/09 3:31 am, Blogger akhil said...

hello buddy how are you dear i read your comment it's great i like it dear i learn alot of things from your comment i hope everyone likes your post dear thanx for this information

Is there more than one evercleanse product? Can you make it at home?

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will smith
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Evercleanse product-Evercleanse product

 

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