The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Monday, March 03, 2008

First Law of Follicodynamics

I think there are laws in the Universe. Everything obeys these laws. Thermodynamics has its three laws, the first of which is that in any process, the total amount of energy in the Universe remains the same.

I believe that there is also a first law of what I'll refer to as follicodynamics which states: regardless of location or growth rate, the amount of hair in the Universe remains the same.

What this translates into is that, when a man goes bald, another gets hair in his nose. When a person loses his hair to chemotherapy, an old woman gets a beard. Some victim of male pattern baldness cries in Boca Raton, I get bush in my ears. The amount of hair is always constant (which I will indicate as Ħ) in the known Universe.


5 Barbaric Yawps:

At 4/3/08 10:37 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought thermodynamics had four laws, the first one being the zeroth.

And I'm not going bald, but I do find increasing hirsuteness in my nose and ears. It's a sure sign of getting old when a nose-and-ear-hair trimmer doesn't seem oddball anymore, but rather a good idea.

Oh, here we go:

At 4/3/08 12:10 pm, Blogger Maakuz said...

What about when the loss of hair doesn´t happen because of natural causes, but of ones own free will?

I, for example, like to cut my hair as short as possible when it reaches some 3 centimeters in lenght. Does this add the hair in universe? What if all the people in the world, for some reason, were to shave their heads?

Well, I do have scientific proof (the christian-way-scientific; it was in an old Asterix comic book) that cutting ones hair INCREASES the speed of hair growth on that person!

I like to argue my friends that I am not bald, because my hair has the POTENTIAL to grow- I merely choose not to wear my hair. So maybe going to a barber stores the amount of hair in the universe somehow?

This is interesting. Maybe quantum mechanics have something to do with it??

At 4/3/08 2:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man you got it!!!
Although I must remark that the amount of hair on earth is not constant. Hair can be destroyed on earth e.g. when you burn it for a voodoo ceremony but at the same instant it is teleported quantum mechanically through a wormhole to let's say the planet where xenu comes from.

At 4/3/08 4:37 pm, Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

That's it. I bet Xenu is one hairy, crazy, thetan-implanting mofo.

At 5/3/08 1:28 pm, Blogger salomedesade said...

Whenever I see the word thermodynamics, I think of that Simpsons episode where Lisa builds a perpetual motion machine, and Homer angrily tells her, "In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics." I know almost nothing about the laws myself, but I've always enjoyed that quote.


Post a Comment

<< Home