Annoying, Stupid Magnets...Again. At Work.
I got a flyer with my Massage Today magazine that offered magnet therapy from a company called Bioflex. The flyer announced on its front page five studies "Validating Efficacy of BIOflex Medical Magnets". I called bullshit in my head and came straight to ye ol' reliable computer.
Of course, BIOflex magnets are different from all other magnets because:
BIOflex offers Concentric Circle magnets, the only technology that ensures the accurate alignment of the magnetic field with the affected blood vessels...BIOflex works by design, not by coincidence! (from their flyer)However, from an article on CBC's Marketplace, physicist Robert Park was asked about the "design" of magnets:
Complete nonsense...Even lowly fridge magnets have alternating poles. They're made that way to make sure they are strong only at the surface.BIOflex has a page about a study done at Baylor University that supposedly proves magnet efficacy. It comes with this lovely quote:
Park said, "Now the reason they do that is to protect your credit cards," says Park. "You get too strong a magnetic field and those get erased."
In spite of the testimonials—and the $5OO million in U.S. sales of therapeutic magnets last year—the American medical profession remained skeptical. Anecdotal evidence was not enough.No, asshole, it's never enough. Get some education and realize that people are easy to fool and you can get other people to say whatever you want for financial gain.
Then we have the good ol' Galileo Gambit, writ strong:
Franz Anton Mesmer became famous for his outlandish claims that he could cure everything from chest pains to blindness and mental illness with magnets, thus "mesmerizing" his audiences while doing it. But Mesmer's arrogance angered many powerful people. They declared him and his methods fraudulent. With Mesmer's fall from grace, magnets unfortunately became synonymous with quack cures, a belief still held in conservative medical circles....and the classic response - Galileo had the advantage of also being correct. Mesmer was a douche who, according to a short bio:
Freud and others would profit from his work, but he would mainly be remembered as a quack occult healer.Exactly.
As usual, Stephen Barrett has an article on Quackwatch rebutting the Baylor Study. I urge you to check it out, point, laugh, then have a nice burger and some root beer. Here's the basic point:
This study provides no legitimate basis for concluding that magnets offer any health-related benefit:Here's a hilarious Bioflex testimonial relating to the Hall Effect:
Last year, Scott Fischbach, of Frederick, MD., suffered an injury to his forearm that required four stitches. As the wound healed, a large hard lump of scar tissue formed and began pressing on the nerves an tendons in his arm, causing numbness in his fingers and hand. A relative suggested he try magnets. "I was amazed at the almost instantaneous results," he says. After only 4 hours of wearing a magnet band directly over the wound, Fischbach says his scar tissue decreased by 75 percent. By the end of that week, it was completely gone and his arm had returned to normal.The hilarious part is when you look at The Hall Effect. - go about a 1/4 of the way down the page and guess if any of the scammers in Bioflex have a fucking clue what the equations mean. Please leave in the comments your suggestions as to what they, what's that word..."think".
Finally, Bioflex says about horses:
many supporters point to the success of magnets with horses as strong proof of their effectiveness, since the placebo effect doesn't exist with animals.Right, but the handlers have biases and those show straight the fuck up in the testimonials. Could someone, anyone, please tell these helmet-heads how to get a life? That'd be dandy. Thanks.
BIOflex is endorsed by Dr. Ronald Lawrence of UCLA. Great. He also endorses these assheads who make aromatherapy based on herbs found in the damn bible. Oh, and let's not forget that he has a book entitled, Magnet Therapy: The Pain Cure Alternative. Excellent pick. That's like Deepak Chopra endorsing you - if he didn't already have all that shit at his own store.
Magnets, they're not just for your nutsack anymore.