The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Catholic Bishop Launching "Stay Stupid!" Campaign

Patrick O'Donoghue, the Bishop of Lancaster,says that them uppity book-learnin' type o' Catholics need to quit asking so many damn questions because they're screwing up the surprise for the stupid Catholics.

O'Donoghue thinks that folks going to university has led to, "sickness in the Church and wider society", as well as, "...a fragmented society that marginalizes God, with many people mistakenly thinking they can live happy and productive lives without him."

I can relate to ol' Pat. I know that because of my university education and atheism/secularism, my life is void of all meaning (excluding my wife, daughter, family, friends, hobbies, job, books, good movies, campfires, guitar...) and I am constantly an emotional mess (excluding 98% of my actual life) who would really be better off dead (which is entirely untrue).

Apparently, the educated are "corrupting" the faith of the non-university-educated public. Heavens. Those bastards are...*gasp* TEACHING! the uneducated about why what the Church says is bullshit! We have to stop this.

Bishop O'Donoghue (which, incidentally, is the most Irish name since Seamus O'Blarnystone) then collapsed into the fetal position and slowly rocked back and forth whilst repeatedly rubbing a worn-smooth worry stone, quietly saying, "Santa's real...I don't care what you fuckers say...Santa's real...there's not too many kids...reindeer CAN fly...he works all year....he does...."

5 Barbaric Yawps:

At 23/11/08 7:46 pm, Blogger King Aardvark said...

Hmm, more stupid, eh? No comment on that.

Btw, TAG!

 
At 25/11/08 4:54 am, Blogger Fleegman said...

I'm sure I'm coming really late to the party on this particular thought, but on reading your post it suddenly dawned on me how the verification for Santa *is* just like the verification for Noah and his ark.

In the same way that apologists argue that there weren't too many animals (original "kinds" of course) and the ark *was* big enough to support all the animals and all the food and all the poop etc, children argue that Santa's sleigh is magic and *can* hold all the presents, he has to go at the speed of light, and he keeps a list of the good and bad children etc.

The difference, of course, is that the ark was REAL.

Hang on, the arguments are the same as those for a young Earth. Virgin birth... OMG my mind's exploding right now.

Could it be that all forms of woo, whatever they may be, are just tales of Santa that they don't realise aren't real?

I apologise if this is all really obvious (I'm sure it is), but I've kind of just had a bit of an epiphany here. They're all the same. THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!

IT'S A COOK BOOK!!!

And now I return you to your scheduled programming.

And thanks.

 
At 25/11/08 11:50 am, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

That's what I'm here for, Fleegman - I bring the epiphanies, brother.

And it's better to come late to a party than to not show up at all. Thanks for reading!

 
At 27/11/08 7:42 pm, Blogger King Aardvark said...

It is amazing that people can be so eager to believe something despite a complete lack of evidence. They make it seem as though it's up to the skeptics to disprove the allegations, then when they do, deny the evidence that disproves their beliefs. And somehow this is a virtue. It's very frustrating.

 
At 27/11/08 8:43 pm, OpenID 1minionsopinion said...

Anything to keep the masses ignorant at masses...

(Just a heads up-- I selected your blog for that 6 random things meme.)

 

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