Catholic Bishop Launching "Stay Stupid!" Campaign
Patrick O'Donoghue, the Bishop of Lancaster,says that them uppity book-learnin' type o' Catholics need to quit asking so many damn questions because they're screwing up the surprise for the stupid Catholics.
O'Donoghue thinks that folks going to university has led to, "sickness in the Church and wider society", as well as, "...a fragmented society that marginalizes God, with many people mistakenly thinking they can live happy and productive lives without him."
I can relate to ol' Pat. I know that because of my university education and atheism/secularism, my life is void of all meaning (excluding my wife, daughter, family, friends, hobbies, job, books, good movies, campfires, guitar...) and I am constantly an emotional mess (excluding 98% of my actual life) who would really be better off dead (which is entirely untrue).
Apparently, the educated are "corrupting" the faith of the non-university-educated public. Heavens. Those bastards are...*gasp* TEACHING! the uneducated about why what the Church says is bullshit! We have to stop this.
Bishop O'Donoghue (which, incidentally, is the most Irish name since Seamus O'Blarnystone) then collapsed into the fetal position and slowly rocked back and forth whilst repeatedly rubbing a worn-smooth worry stone, quietly saying, "Santa's real...I don't care what you fuckers say...Santa's real...there's not too many kids...reindeer CAN fly...he works all year....he does...."