The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Pope Benny Has Gone Down...to Australia

...and he's still blathering on about stupid crap. I've asked this before, but does anyone really listen to him anymore? I mean, look at this bit about the Pope's "concern" for the Church's victims of sexual abuse:
"He listened to their stories and offered them consolation," a Vatican statement said. "Assuring them of his spiritual closeness he promised to continue to pray for them, their families and all victims...Through this paternal gesture, the holy father wished to demonstrate again his deep concern for all victims of sexual abuse,"
That's right, he met with victims of sexual abuse and he told them that he would "continue to pray for them." Of course, that means that he doesn't actually have to DO anything, thereby letting himself off the hook. That's why he wears a robe! It's to hide his giant balls!

It gets better though because it seems that:
"the victims met by the pope were carefully chosen as people who would not cause trouble."
Nice. Well if you're going to flash your huge testes in public, perhaps it's best to show them to people who aren't going to stomp them. It's the same thing as when fucknuggets like Benny Hinn get stooges up there on stage to "heal" but they selectively keep the kids in wheelchairs and the obviously handicapped well off to the side of the stage - preferably WAY off to the side...like, in the parking lot.

To finish, I just wanted to quote this one part of the article:
Benedict told young pilgrims at a Mass on Sunday that a "spiritual desert" was spreading throughout the world and challenged them to shed the greed and cynicism of their time to create a new age of hope.
I'm a big believer in watching what you say. I know it doesn't seem like it sometimes on this site, but it's true. So when you dress like this, and you fly around in this, and you live here (and here, you know, in the summer), you might not want to be bitching and moaning to other people about greed.

I'm just sayin'.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Skeptic's Circle #91

Man, if you kept track of your life by how fast the Skeptic's Circles come around, you'd be just crying at how fast time is slipping by. In any event, the 91st Skeptic's Circle is up over at Sorting Out Science with what seems like a bunch of terrific shiznit. Go forth and read read read the weekend away.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Where The Hell Is Matt? He's The Mayor Of AwesomeLand

Well, Matt of Where The Hell Is Matt? fame has done it again and this is my favorite video of the three I've seen (if you haven't seen the other two, you really should check them out - the scenery is amazing and the concept is fantastic). By incorporating so many people to take part in his dance, it really brings the world together and you see that, behind all the freaks, politics and bullshit out there supposedly to divide us, we're all one big family of humanity. I defy you to not smile while watching this.

Bravo, Matt.(Tip 'o the horn to my friend Claudia for the heads-up - if you're planning a wedding, she's the one to talk to, let me tell ya.)

Friday, July 11, 2008

Bill Donohue & the Catholic League - What Tremendous Pussies

After the whole "cracker incident" over at PZ's blog, I just had to comment once again. It seems that Bill Donohue is shaking in his little Pope-Slippers because of PZ's fanatical ranting and threats.

That's right, Donohue has a new press release where he says:
...he’d (Myers) better be careful what he says, because if I get any death threats, it won’t be hard to connect the dots.
Ummm...what's Donohue doing implying death threats when it has been Dr. Myers who has received, I believe, 23 in one day from the douchebags saying shit like, "you better lock your doors and check under your car before you turn the ignition". That's a goddamn threat, Bill - not PZ's stated intent of, you know, desecrating what amounts to a piece of shit Ritz wannabe with Jesus sprinkles.

Donohue actually expresses concern for the safety of Catholics attending this year’s Republican National Convention in Minneapolis:
...Myers’ backyard. Accordingly, Foley has asked the top GOP brass to provide additional security while in the Twin Cities so that Catholics can worship without fear of violence.
(from the aforementioned new press release)

Seriously, a guy says he's going to crumble a cracker, maybe do something objectionable (as defined by a segment of the population) to it, and that's all. Suddenly, the easily offended pussies are all afraid of the bad ol' atheists and their threatening ways that they actually need *gasp* increased security!

What a tremendous douchebag.

He adds:
It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ.
Um, how about child rape? I'd say that's about sixty-five million times more vile than doing anything to a fucking cracker. You could seriously take a Catholic Eucharist, shit on it, grind the shit-cracker up into a shitty Jesus sausage, deep fry it, feed it to a baby seal, kill the seal with a Jamie Oliver signature series 12" frying pan, then burn the seal and shit cracker with a blowtorch until it's nothing but carbon and I would STILL say that child rape is sixty-four million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred ninety eight times more vile.

Get a damn life.

Holy Shit But Denyse O'Leary is Retarded

Over at one of O'Leary's 46 blogs, she has a post about buffalo. She says that her "creationist biologist" friend, Norbert Smith, wrote a nice little article which you can partake of here, that claims the buffalo was basically made by God to be easy food for the Native Americans. Seriously.

Just a tip: if you're going to call yourself a "creationist biologist", you might want to read an actual biology textbook once in a while. Just a thought. Canadian Cynic has a great retort to the, God was taking care of the poor Indians", line:
...if God had really cared about native Americans, he might have given them immunity to smallpox.
True that.

Denyse also references a "paper" by Jane Harris-Zsovan (which, if you want your brain to go on strike for the weekend, you can read here). This shitty excuse for reporting and thought execution is completely taken to task much better than I could ever hope to do by the great Bay of Fundie blog. If you want the quick summary, it can be found in this quote:
That’s your whole thesis? I read this whole article just to find out you’re retarded?! Just to find out that you have no concept of how evolution works?
There you go. Actually, that viewpoint accurately summarizes the body of work at all of O'Leary's 46 blogs. I'm reasonably certain that a lemur could take a shit that could be taught to understand the Theory of Evolution better than Denyse O'Leary does.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Help PZ

So the press-whore that is Bill Donohue (the president of the Catholic League) has his two rubber wetsuits in a knot because PZ said he was going to desecrate a cracker. If you want your brain to crawl out of your ear and slap you in the eyeballs, go here and read the actual press release from the douche himself.

PZ has asked for some help with respect to the mails that have been directed to his university president - so please go here and write a coherent, eloquent email or letter to the University of Minnesota-Morris in support of Dr. Myers. Please take the time to sound 1000 times more lucid and intelligent than the gomers that have written on behalf of Donohue.

Seriously, how hard is it to be better than someone who, on their official website, has something as patently ridiculous as this:
Is the Catholic League Necessary?

Absolutely. Harvard professor Arthur Schlesinger, Sr. once observed that prejudice against the Catholic Church was "the deepest bias in the history of the American people." Yale professor Peter Viereck commented that "Catholic baiting is the anti-Semitism of the liberals." from here.
Yep, baiting and insulting Catholics is WAY more of a historical bias than, say, slavery. Nailed that one.

Sometimes The Truth Hurts A Bit Too Much

Here's an editorial cartoon from the Ottawa Citizen, by Cam Cardow. It's just fucking sad that we're so apathetic when there's so much we could do.
A pot-bellied, malnourished boy receives a bag of

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Wow. That's Some Cracker-Jack FuckedUpEdNess

PZ nails some dumbasses in a story you really have to read to believe. Seriously, go there and read the link. Then go to a Catholic mass, receive communion - but don't swallow the cracker, leave the church with the cracker, and then videotape yourself defiling it in various heinous ways.

Because defiling a cracker is ok. It's what we like to call a "victimless crime". Yeah yeah yeah, Catholics believe that once the priest says, "This is my body...", that the cracker actually becomes Christ - but that's fucking retarded.

Imagine if Catholics worshipped goats. Imagine if, once the priest said the magic words, they thought the cracker turned into a goat named Lenny. Well that's the same situation as what's actually happening.

Religion rots your brain and turns you into a nutcase. End of story.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Skeptic's Circle #90

That's right, people, head on over to the Millenium Project and partake of the best skeptical writing on the web.

Mmmm...delicious skeptical stew....

Friday, July 04, 2008

Dear Charles McVety...

Fuck you.

Now how did I know that "Dr." Charles McVety would open his ignorant, misogynistic mouth about Dr. (note no quotes) Henry Morgentaler's induction to the Order of Canada? See, if you don't know, McVety is the head of the asshole group, the Canada Patriarchy Action Coalition, a watchdog group of fuckholes who make it their business to mess with your business - especially if you happen to be a woman.

If I may, from Jack Holland's great book, Misogyny: The World's Oldest Prejudice:
It is not hard to imagine how much of a challenge this was to the prevailing order where subordination of women was part of the divine plan, and a model of the very structure of the cosmos. The idea that women could escape what is deemed their biological fate remains for some an affront to what they believe is God or Allah's grand design and has been fiercely opposed over the centuries. The churches would cry out against the use of chloroform to ease the pangs of childbirth in the nineteenth century...: conservative Catholics and fundamentalist Protestants would campaign sometimes with violence against contraception and abortion in the twentieth.
And here we are once again listening to the bronze-age throwbacks demanding backwards steps be taken to "restore Judeo-Christian values".

Fuck your values and fuck you with them.

We've moved past you and your ilk. In the article, the dumbasses say that:
Henry Morgentaler's conduct is unbecoming that of a member of the Order of Canada and thereby tarnishes all recipients of this tremendous award...
and all the while, McVety calls himself "Dr." - even though if you read the above link, he's lying about it. The only thing we should ever listen to McVety about is how to best be a sanctimonious little lying fucker.

Oh, and here's another brief quote from Holland's great book:
...in the Soviet Union, in 1936, just sixteen years after abortion had been legalized, it was banned under Joseph Stalin. To say Stalin like Hitler before him was pro-life is perhaps to miss the point. What is more important is what both have in common with today's so-called "pro-life" movement in the United States: they are all anti-choice, believing that a woman's right to control her own fertility must be subordinated to goals more important than any notions she may have of her autonomy. That in itself is a form of contempt.
Somehow I don't think this book was on McVety's reading list in any classes he didn't take at his non-existent college. Charles seems to have the attitude shown in Misogyny and common in religious circles that:
...when it comes to having a baby, a woman's consent is not necessary and that once made pregnant, accidentally or not, her own will is rendered irrelevant.
McVety doesn't seem to realize that abortion is just like prostitution and alcohol and drugs in at least one respect - people are always going to get them, regardless of the legality of them. If he had his wish and all abortions were made illegal, all it would do would be to force women directly into the hands of unsafe, backstreet abortionists or actual doctors who are willing to stand up for women's rights and illegally perform safe procedures.

Congratulations to Dr. Henry Morgentaler on his deserved induction to the Order of Canada.

A Response to "Kisha" - from Jesus Didn't Tap

In response to a commenter named "Kisha", who made the quoted statement below after reading my post Jesus Didn't Tap, I just couldn't resist answering. First, her piece, just as she wrote it:
I think you all need JESUS. He could have called down thousands of Angels to save himself however he did not tap out and say your not worth it to me. He went ahead and died knowing there were going to be people like you that would reject him. I actaully own the shirt and have it on today and i am proud to wear it because my jesus didn't tap and leave me for a life of hell he saved my soul.
Dear Kisha:

Ok, firstly you said:
"He could have called down thousands of Angels to save himself however he did not tap out and say your not worth it to me."

How many damn times to I have to tell you people that it's "you're"? I'd think that if English was good enough for Jesus, maybe you'd learn how to use it properly like him. (Yes, I'm being r e a l l y sarcastic)

And seriously, do you believe in "angels"? How old are you?

Secondly, the whole:
"He went ahead and died...."
No, I believe he "rose" - If I may...:
"Matt. 28:6 He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.
28:7 And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you."
See, I wouldn't make that up. So your Jesus didn't die for you at all. It's sorta like Superman saying he'll take a bullet for you. It's not that grand of a gesture if you're...you know, immortal. I guess there can be more than one Highlander.

Lastly, you said:

"...my jesus didn't tap and leave me for a life of hell he saved my soul."

I think that Matthew 27:46 makes it pretty clear how your pal Jesus felt:
"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
That sounds like a verbal tap-out to me. Especially when he is, as mentioned above, immortal. I mean, if he's the Son of God who was sent to do all that jazzy stuff, he knew he wasn't going to really die, so why be a pussy and whine about it? I think he was faking the "pain" and "suffering" to make it seem like a huge sacrifice to folks like you who don't use that thing in your head.

Oh, and could you please explain to me why no one else, anywhere, mentioned the damn zombies?
"Matt. 27:52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,
27:53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many."
You'd think someone would've mentioned zombies.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

July 1st! Enjoy Rush.

Happy Canada Day to all my fellow Canucks! A little Free Will anyone? I thought so...yes...