The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A 7th Day Adventist Wants To Play

Back in aught six I wrote a post about the Seventh Day Adventists who left one of their stupid booklets in my door. In that piece, I wrote this paragraph:
I could never be an SDA person because of the fact(s), namely: they hate gays - well, obviously; they don't drink (strike two); and they think "creation science" solves millions of years of evolutionary evidence. Gatdamn, I'd rather punch myself in the face for a year and a half than spend a minute in the presence of SDA weirdos in my home.
The other day, one of the believers stopped in to my site, found said article and was, shall we say, offended by my accusations. "Anonymous" commented thusly:
I find it offense and clearly ignorant that you group the whole sda community in your objections

your accusations are false and unfounded to a great extent.

show me proof from the bible or egw that we believe or have the traits that you have mentioned?
I'll leave the poor grammar and punctuation alone for the time being because there are more pressing issues. I must defend my writing! Okie dokie, here we go. On the "hating gays" thing:
Seventh-day Adventists believe that sexual intimacy belongs only within the marital relationship of a man and a woman. This was the design established by God at creation. The Scriptures declare: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24, NIV). Throughout Scripture this heterosexual pattern is affirmed. The Bible makes no accommodation for homosexual activity or relationships. Sexual acts outside the circle of a heterosexual marriage are forbidden...For these reasons Adventists are opposed to homosexual practices and relationships. (from here.)
Ooo, a stinging blow from the site of the Seventh Day Adventists themselves! Sucks to be you. Alrighty then? Yes, I thought so. Moving on to the "don't drink" accusation:
The Seventh-day Adventist Church reaffirms its historic stand for the principles of temperance, upholds its policies and programs supporting Article 21 of the Fundamental Beliefs, and calls upon each member to affirm and reveal a life commitment to abstinence from any form of alcohol and tobacco and irresponsible use of drugs. (from here)
Jab and a hook! He's looking tired, Goldie. We good so far? Righty O. Lastly we have to deal with the SDA's alleged belief in "Creationism". Hmmmmm, how about a selection from the SDA's "Affirmation of Creation" page?
Reaffirmation of the church’s Fundamental Belief regarding creation is strongly supported. Seventh-day Adventist belief in a literal and historical six-day creation is theologically sound and consistent with the teaching of the whole Bible...We affirm the historic Seventh-day Adventist understanding of Genesis 1 that life on earth was created in six literal days and is of recent origin...
Any questions, Anonymous? I expect that you either have no idea what your religious organization actually believes or, perhaps, you are just as dumb as a fucking chimp clit. Either way, I expect an apology soon - I will, however, be reading a large science book whilst I wait.

Ok, and could you cretins please use fucking spell-check/grammar-check before you send your goddamn criticism? Is that really asking so much? If Jesus was on your side, HE'D check for you so you wouldn't sound like so much brainless blathering.

I'm going to bed.

11 Barbaric Yawps:

At 29/4/09 4:04 am, Blogger Fall Garlic said...

"If Jesus was on your side." now that really stings. I am pissing myself here.

At 29/4/09 7:48 am, Blogger Call me Paul said...

I get a huge kick out of these "pick and choose" religious people. This one claims to be a Seventh Day Adventist, yet also claims not to adhere to three of the basic tenets of the religion. Can you say, "cognitive dissonance?"

I had a long conversation in the comments section of my blog with a reader who claimed she'd see me in heaven, because I was a "good person." She simply chose to ignore the number one rule of Christianity: you kinda gotta believe.

At 29/4/09 11:53 am, Blogger Bruce said...

"I expect that you either have no idea what your religious organization actually believes or, perhaps, you are just as dumb as a fucking chimp clit."

So you mean like 99% of the rest of them.

At 29/4/09 12:46 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Yes. Precisely.

At 2/5/09 8:39 pm, Anonymous melior said...

The history of this splinter sect is a hilariously good read. Apparently they originated as the very endmost dead-enders of several waves of "End Of The World Is Nigh" groups.

So long, long after the thousands of disillusioned gullible believers returned to the homes, farms, and possessions they'd abandoned in their frenzy to believe some charlatan telling them that "No, really, it's gonna end this year on such-and-such a date, forget all that other stuff we said last year, and the year before, and the year before that..." these chuckleheads were the ones still willing to keep chugging along towards the next receding prediction of immanent Eschaton.

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, don't it?

At 28/2/10 2:32 am, Blogger Joanne said...

Hello Mike from an SDA

While I am an Seventh Day Adventist, first I am a child of God. While we may not have the same beliefs, I believe we all have the right to believe what we do. Let me address your previous remarks concerning Adventist and our beliefs.

1) Yes we do believe we were created by God and did not evolve from monkeys or whatever. 2)Temperance is key to living a healthy life and many who aren't even religious in that sense of the word, try to attain some type of temperance whether it is food, finances or drink.We also believe the Bible speaks against strong wine.
3)While I do believe in the validity of marriage exist between man and woman, I do not hate gays. While I can not speak for every adventist in the world or even in my church, I can say the ones I know do not hate them either. My brother-in-law is gay and I accept and love him very much! We are very close and while he knows I do not agree with his lifestyle, he knows I do not judge him either. While I believe what he is doing wrong and is a sin, I am not perfect either. In God's eyes, sin is sin whether I tell a lie, say unkind words, or have sex with someone the same sex as myself. Again, that is my opinion, and I believe it is between God and each person how they live their life. No one has to answer to me on how they live their life or what they choose to do, or whom they sleep with, and vice versa.

Please Mike, do not judge a book by its cover. You can not classify a whole denomination of people based on the few people you may have met.

May God bless you, or to whatever your belief, I wish you well.


At 18/2/11 12:11 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seventh Day Adventists are demonic fools, lying cheats and I wish there was a real God so he could sent them to any kind of hell.
I was an Adventist for years, until I was cheated by a god damned church elder that stole my company and then accepted an award for “discovering” a software technology that I trained that God dammed fag whore in on. The faggot church elder has heralded as being good “because he was able to use my trust to effectively lie and cheat me out of my business”

God damn all you faggot whore christains

At 18/2/11 7:29 am, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

A little bit of a generalization there, but at least I see where your anger is coming from.

At 24/8/12 2:53 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found out that an Independent sda youth pastor from a tropical island was using me. He was fooling around behind his wife's back and shaved about 20 years off his age to impress me. I didn't even know he was married cos he denied it multiple times! Then I found a photo of them online and he's beaming like the world is there for his taking. Isn't adultery breaking the 10 commandments?

At 11/1/16 7:07 am, Blogger Emily Achieng said...

I am a Seventh Day Adventist and I understand where your anger stems from.Not everyone in the Church has a relationship with Christ.Quite often the so called'holier than thou' are the worst pretenders.Even I can tell who really loves God and who is faking.The fact even leadership posts bring about discord in the church is reason enough to tell you many christians are unscrupulous in their dealings.Personally Id advise you not to trust anyone just because they go to church.About you leaving the church because of one person, that shows you never really loved God.Sorry to say you proved to your oppressor that you are weak and gullible,incapable of fighting back by running away.Am sorry but no human being should make you desert your living God.

At 11/1/16 11:19 am, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Let's be clear: no one has a "relationship" with Christ because the word "relationship" implies that at least two beings are involved. No one has ever seen/talked to/heard from "Christ", so it isn't, by definition, a relationship. Obviously I don't trust people because they go to church. That's a crummy reason to think anyone is trustworthy. It's like trusting someone because they like fishing. The two are unrelated.
Where did I say I left the church because of one person? I never to my knowledge said that. Ever. Please show me.
"God" is not living. It's fictional. Prove to me otherwise and I'll take a look at the evidence you bring.


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