The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Purpose Driven Thingy - Day 8

Planned for God's pleasure.

So Warren says, "God planned your birth, was at your birth as an 'unseen witness' and he's happy you're alive." I'll ask you at this point to remember my friend Ross and how, under Warren's own ideology, God choked Ross nearly to death, but certainly enough to give him his multiple severe handicaps.
God did not need to create you, he chose to create you for his own enjoyment.
Bit of a sicko, don't you think? I mean, if you can imagine life outside of your personal comfort bubble or, perhaps, if you've traveled at all to poor areas of the globe, you can see that this particular deity's idea of "enjoyment" is rather distasteful. Plus, isn't the idea of being God's Dancing Monkey a tad on the demeaning side itself? Way to sell the idea, Rick.
Bringing pleasure to God is called 'worship'.
It's sort of like God's handjob. I'll paraphrase Warren here: We have to worship - God built it into us, so if we don't worship God, we find a substitute, even if it's ourselves. Right, except people who are irreligious don't "worship" ourselves. We don't "worship" anything. It's like people who are as into religion as Warren is just can't imagine an existence without prostrating themselves at something. Maybe it's God, maybe it's Mecca, perhaps it's a duck's feather soaked in kerosene and lit on fire while hanging over a beeswax candle shaped like W.C. Fields' nose. Odd.
Actually, worship predates music. Adam worshiped in the Garden of Eden, but music isn't mentioned until Genesis 4:4 with the birth of Jubil.
Yes, apparently the bible is a historical document going back to the Garden of Eden. I'm curious if Warren is a Young Earth Creationist (YEC)? Hmmmm....
God loves all kinds of music because He invented it all.
I'm sorry, but is Warren trying to tell me that the All-Powerful, Creator of the Universe, Lord of All Lords gets his groove on and dances in His tighty-whities to Lil' Jon's Get Low:

Ok, so that happened. You know, now that I think about it, this video just might be right in line with what Warren's God thinks of women. That said, if God existed, I'd love to see the mix on His iPod.

Oh, wait a second...I may have spoken too soon:
There is no such thing as Christian music, only Christian lyrics.
Ah, got ya. Ok, so my point stands then. It is sort of funny though to picture God up there in Heaven or wherever thinking, "You know, I don't particularly enjoy Zack de la Rocha's politically charged and somewhat offensive lyrics, but I very much like Tom Morello's heavy guitar work." Hilarious.

Warren goes on to say that we should be praising God from sun-up to sun-down. He says:
Worship isn't a part of your life, it is your life.
Man, it seems like a crap life if your entire time is symbolically fellating a made-up Sky Man. Just sayin'.

You might be asking yourself the same question Warren asks, albeit he asks rhetorically, which is: How is it possible to do everything, "for the glory of God?" Simple, my friend. "By doing everything as if you were doing it for Jesus." *sigh* Here we go with the Jesus stuff....

after explaining about how he thought about his girlfriend all the time, Warren says:
This is what real worship is all about. Falling in love with Jesus.
So gay.

Point to ponder: "I was planned for God's pleasure." Cheer up! You're God's dildo!

Verse to Remember: Psalm 149: 4. Also known as the Footloose verses.

Question: "What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?" Don't say "masturbating"...don't say "masturbating"...don't say "masturbuating"....

Day 9, comin' up!

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