The Apocalypse is So Inconvenient
So apparently the world is ending on May 21, 2011. I guess I'll just not book my week off in August to hit the cottage for some fishing as I'll be burning in the fires of Hell.
The jerkweed who is spewing all this nonsense is named Harold Camping and...SURPRISE!...he already predicted that the world would end in 1994. Obviously this prediction didn't materialize, but hey, what's a fella to do? Well, make another prediction after "recalculating God's word".
Shouldn't "God's word" be fairly straight-forward? Just sayin'.
My idea (lawyer's note: it's not really his idea) is that if these people are so convinced that the world will end on May 21st, let's just hop on over to a lawyer's office (lawyer's note: please come to OUR office) and sign over all your worldly possessions and finances to me as of May 22nd.
If you're right, which you aren't, then it won't matter because I along with all the other heathenous non-believers will be burning in the aforementioned fires of Hell. If I'm right, then you'll lose all your shit to me, but at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you had the balls to put your money and belongings where your beliefs are sitting...out there all pink and naked.
But none of them will do that because they don't really believe, do they? No, they don't. If they really believed, they'd sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you fuckin' faggots?! ...Sorry, went into Alec Baldwin from Glengarry Glen Ross there.... Anyway, it's not going to happen because none of these people really think the world will end. It's marketing, plain and simple.
I think I'll plan for that cottage fishing trip in August after all.