The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Merkaba Kabbala BlahBlahBlah...

I got a comment on my post about the Harold Camping's "conscience" from a fella named "Max" who said the following:
Camping’s calculations were wrong and his assumptions naive, but Rapture and Judgment Day are still relevant! Humanity needs to know the truth. Listen to this very compelling recording from a new spiritual group that is making waves and getting the word out to be spiritually prepared with more than a simple prayer and some bible verses.
"Compelling recording." I've been more compelled to shove powdered habeñero peppers up my nose by the spoonful. Listening to that guy blather on was more painful than I could bear, so I began to wander through that weird site and found another "open letter" that was amazing. It was to Stephen Hawking. A teaser quote:
...I will explain to you the missing part of M-Theory that will allow you to understand the mind of God.
It's hilarious until it gets really boring...which is about 2 minutes in.

Hawking was in the news recently because of an interview he did which wack-job Kirk Cameron commented on. I find it both funny and tragic that noodleheads the world around deem it necessary to draw attention to themselves by vomiting their ideas about what really smart people say. I doubt very seriously if Kirk Cameron could figure out what two letters are missing in the word "a_ _ hole", yet he feels qualified to point out "flaws" in the scientific thinking of a renowned theoretical physicist.

Like Sam Harris said at a TED talk, "I wouldn't want to belong to any quantum physics club that would have me as a member." That is the attitude of a person who knows their scope of practice; I'm quite certain that if a person fell down in a shopping mall and Cameron or the slow-talking fellow who records those "open messages" was there, they'd likely start improving a scene from ER they vaguely remember and asking for a scalpel.

I may take breaks from time to time, but man, there's no shortage of material to write about on the internet.

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@standupmaths on Twitter

I follow a fella named Matt Parker with the twitter-handle "@standupmaths" (it's weird that we use the term "handle" still...sounds like we're all wannabe truckers from the 70's)and he was poking notorious homeopathic apologist Dana Ullman with a pointy stick. He inquired about Ullman's support for the use of homeopathy in Africa and the ridiculous organization, "Homeopaths Without Borders". Ullman made the predictable reply that he is in favor of health care and that the people there should have the "freedom to choice (sic)" what they want. When Parker asked about Ullman's support of proselytizing homoepathy in lieu of anti-retroviral drugs for AIDS treatments, Ullman retorted with the faux wounded ego act and claimed Parker should, "take his dogmatism elsewhere". I followed with:
@standupmaths: @HomeopathicDana uses the "freedom of choice" non-argument because he knows he can fool laypeople with nonsense.
Sometimes I really wish you had more than 140 characters. We'll see if he responds, but while I wait I think I'll read everything Steven King ever wrote.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Welcome to the 19th Century, Malta!

The small Mediterranean island of Malta voted to allow divorce this past weekend. The island is "staunchly Catholic" and for obvious reasons they don't like it when couples decide amongst themselves, like adults, to separate. Always the parental figure, religion is. Always talk like Yoda, do I.
Malta, which also bans abortion, has long Catholic traditions and the church's influence on the nation's 400,000 citizens is still significant. Some 95 per cent of the population calls itself Roman Catholic. Pope Benedict XVI visited the island last year.
You know, apart from the divorce thing, which is crazy in and of itself that a country in 2011 had banned a decision between adults, the fact that a small island of 400,000 people actually call themselves Roman Catholics is staggering to me. I know it's hard to shake a person's faith, but man, what more do the Vatican Overlords have to do? Even if the Pope himself got caught with his cock soaked in peanut butter and stuffed into the mouth of an anaphylactic 9 year old, most of these people would still say, "Well, you know, homosexuality is a problem and it needs to be dealt with, but there's really no problem with the Church itself."

Blow my mind....

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Off That

Yeah, I know, it's been around, but I really dig the song. Enjoy Baba Brinkman's Off That.

Oprah Has No Regrets?

I'm at work now and Oprah is on in the clinic. She just said that she had "no regrets" about anything she's done on the show with the exception of not drawing enough attention to sexual abuse/rape. Ok, fair enough, that's a good cause for her to yell about on her considerable soapbox.

She doesn't regret her uncritical promotion of The Secret? Her giving a pedestal to moronic celebrities to hawk their harmful nonsensical "therapies"? Her lending her substantial voice to anti-vaccine lunatics with not an ounce of critical opposition, thereby misleading millions towards pseudo-science and disease?

Oprah has done some good things - her book club has gotten a lot of people to read who might not have otherwise done so. That said, she skewered James Frey and made him look like a fool for making up parts of his "memoir". She was lauded for holding him accountable and making him pay for lying, but she lets the lies and bullshit that people like Jenny McCarthy toss about so cavalierly slide past her without so much as a second glance.

Ms. Winfrey has much to be proud of in her accomplishments, her influence, and her success. She also, however, has much to regret in her lack of recognition for that same influence and what she has helped bring to prominence - anti-vaccine promotion, bogus and harmful cancer "cures", Dr. Oz's promotion of pseudo-scientific nonsense, her uncritical promotion of the fraudulent "John of God", and the audacity of a person completely unaware of her surroundings and situation - arrogance and ignorance - that inspired Salon writer Peter Birkenhead to write:
Why "venality"? Because, with survivors of Auschwitz still alive, Oprah writes this about "The Secret" on her Web site, "the energy you put into the world -- both good and bad -- is exactly what comes back to you. This means you create the circumstances of your life with the choices you make every day."

After 25 years, Oprah has left her "talk" show. It has been about 10 years too late for me, but I'm sure her influence over her flock will only grow with her OWN network, her magazine, and her offshoot shows.

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Monday, May 23, 2011

Open Letter from Harold Camping's Conscience

So apparently, Harold Camping has now said that May 21st was a "silent judgment", a "spiritual judgment" and that the apocalypse will occur on October 21st, 2011. Here is a letter from his conscience.

Hi there. I'm Harold Camping's conscience. Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen the light of day. Sort of odd and ironic that I'm getting out to breathe a bit only a couple of days after my bodily host said the whole world would change with the rapture occurring. Weird. Just you wait five more months! Ha...yeah...not that funny. Sorry.

Anyway, I wanted to apologize. The denial and obfuscation in Harold's head is deep and dark, so he can't really see the devastation he's caused. I mean, check out this news report:Yeah, I know. Slit her daughters' throats and wrists. Insanity. Harold really thought he knew the date from the numbers in the bible; I tried to get to him and pull that "nagging conscience" thing, but it didn't work. He's gone. He's what poker players call, "pot committed". Like Oprah is to medically negligent bullshit. He had to make another "prediction to cover his ass. I tried.

I have to apologize to the family of the gentleman who hanged himself in Nairobi because of the supposed end of the world. Harold knew in his heart that things like this would happen, but he was too wrapped up in his numbers, numbers, and more numbers to really think it through. There's not too much "thinking through" in any religion, actually, so Harold's version of Christianity isn't exactly original in that respect, but there was certainly more immediate responses and actions taken.

Like the couple in New Jersey who quit their jobs (and the guy's younger brother who dropped out of high school because there was "no point in graduating" - as if that was a necessary excuse) because of the "good news".This poor, silly, deluded pregnant woman is living off her husband's savings because she thinks she's going to fly into the sky to be with Jesus. I don't pray, but man, if I did it would be for her kid to find decently smart role models in school or summer camp, or a friendly homeless a-capella group.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sorry for not trying hard enough to get to Harold in the last 80 years. He's much too brain-melted now for me to do anything , but at least no one will (hopefully) listen to his crazy "predictions" again this time. Sadly, it's too late for some people. At least Harold has his ministry and his millions of dollars to soften the blow. I'll try to get him to legally sign over his stuff as of October 22nd as a sign of good faith. Probably won't happen, but you never know.

I'll also try to get him to be involved in some kinky sex scandal or something. Maybe with a gay "masseuse" and some crystal meth. What's that? ...That's already happened? Dammit, I really have to pay more attention to the news cycle.

In any event, this is Harold Camping's conscience, reporting from inside the dark, cavernous, echoing chambers between his ears saying, I'm sorry and we'll maybe see you later.

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Thursday, May 19, 2011

Stephen Hawking and Kirk Cameron

Wow. There's two names I never thought I'd type next to each other. I think when I googled those names, the Wizard behind the Google Curtain just shook his head and a single tear rolled down his lily-white cheek.

I wanted to quickly comment on a kerfuffle that has caught my eye due to an interview where Hawking says:
I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.
Fairly straightforword for a guy like Prof. Hawking; it reflects his common thinking about the nature of existance and what happens after death.

Enter Kirk Cameron. He of Way of the Master Ministries. He of Growing Pains. He of idiocy nearly unparalled. He commented on Hawking's interview with his typical non-panache:
...to say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas...Professor Hawking is heralded as ‘the genius of Britain,’ yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything and that life sprang from non-life
Seriously? It's like, "bullying a blind man"? He has an, "unfair disadvantge"? Not for nothing, but Cameron is the guy who, with his brainless cohort/mentor Ray Comfort, thinks that the "God designed perfection" of a human-genetically-engineered banana is "the atheist's nightmare".If anyone has a "disadvantage" in this discussion, it's Cameron. Prof. Hawking has been in the world of high-level science for a long, long time and has even made fundamental discoveries about the nature of the universe (see Hawking radiation), so no one who used to be on a sitcom 25 years ago is going to make him uncomfortable with a criticism, ok?

As for the "scientific impossibility" of nothing creating everything, I will once again reference Lawrence Krauss' talk from AAI 2009 where he explains, quite clearly considering the subject matter, how we know that not only can a universe come from nothing, but that it is inevitable. Yes, it's an hour long, but it's more than worth it.Prof. Hawking said in his interview, "Science predicts that many different kinds of universe will be spontaneously created out of nothing. It is a matter of chance which we are in...." I'd like it if Kirk Cameron could spontaneously create a brain out of the vacuum of space in his empty head.

Friday, May 06, 2011

The Apocalypse is So Inconvenient

So apparently the world is ending on May 21, 2011. I guess I'll just not book my week off in August to hit the cottage for some fishing as I'll be burning in the fires of Hell.

The jerkweed who is spewing all this nonsense is named Harold Camping and...SURPRISE!...he already predicted that the world would end in 1994. Obviously this prediction didn't materialize, but hey, what's a fella to do? Well, make another prediction after "recalculating God's word".

Shouldn't "God's word" be fairly straight-forward? Just sayin'.

My idea (lawyer's note: it's not really his idea) is that if these people are so convinced that the world will end on May 21st, let's just hop on over to a lawyer's office (lawyer's note: please come to OUR office) and sign over all your worldly possessions and finances to me as of May 22nd.

If you're right, which you aren't, then it won't matter because I along with all the other heathenous non-believers will be burning in the aforementioned fires of Hell. If I'm right, then you'll lose all your shit to me, but at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you had the balls to put your money and belongings where your beliefs are sitting...out there all pink and naked.

But none of them will do that because they don't really believe, do they? No, they don't. If they really believed, they'd sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you fuckin' faggots?! ...Sorry, went into Alec Baldwin from Glengarry Glen Ross there.... Anyway, it's not going to happen because none of these people really think the world will end. It's marketing, plain and simple.

I think I'll plan for that cottage fishing trip in August after all.