The Lower Quote, As If You Didn't Know, Is By Richard Dawkins, Son.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

BodyTalk? More Like Stupid Mind Magic

I have gotten several emails about this (apparently) new form of bodywork. The creator is trying to drum up business and as such, is spamming massage therapists with her ideas. I'm going to show you what she sent me and we'll talk a quick walk-through of her claims.
Are You Getting The Most Out Of Your Treatment Sessions? Have You Thought of Working Smarter Not Harder?
This is a common first line to grab the attention of bodyworkers because we have a physical profession with lots of dropoffs due to tendonitis in the thumb/wrist, etc... and lots of minor nagging injuries because of postural irregularities while we massage. If you can "work smarter", then your career might last longer - usually, however, working "smarter" entails working with woo.

The next section of her email starts with, "Did You Know That...", which is almost always followed by some claims of such extravagance that you'd think jewels would fall out of your anus. Here are some of her "Did you knows":
The key element to maintaining health in the body is the re-establishment of communication between all systems and parts of the body
Um, last I checked, your body is in constant communication with all of its parts. If it's not, you have serious problems. This little factoid of hers makes no sense.
The body has the ability to synchronize its activities, heal, and adapt to the stresses of life. Unless it is on overwhelm
Obviously the body has the ability to heal and adapt. We'd have a pretty short and shitty life if it couldn't adapt and heal non-fatal injuries. I don't know what the hell she means when she suggests that your body can be, "on overwhelm". Maybe that's just when you hang out at Chucky Cheese on a weekend afternoon.
The most important consideration in the healing process is the sequence in which the body heals its systems
Well, sure. I mean, if the inflammation sequence isn't performed in the right order, it won't work. What she seems to be implying here is that we have some conscious control over this sequence, which is silly. Some of my critics may see it fit to ask me why it is silly, but I would suggest some reading on the topic (from a reputable scientific source) and then come back.
One of the main factors that slows down the healing process is the superimpostion of the bias and agenda of the practitioner.
Ok, this one is pure bullshit. She is saying that I have spooky powers to keep people from getting better because I can use massage-magic to interrupt my clients' bodily processes. Stupid nonsense.

She then asks, "What if you knew of an integrative healthcare system that could tell you what is wrong with the body, what needs to be treated, and in what order?" Oh whatever could that system be? Who is the genius who came up with this amazing way of treating poor clients who know not of mind-magic?

Well the system is called "BodyTalk" and the lady is offering a four-day "BodyTalk fundamentals" course that covers these topics:
•BodyTalk theory and exploration tools
•Essential General Balance Techniques including Balancing the Brain, addressing the Stress Threshold, Hydration levels, Releasing Scars and Adhesions, Interference
Balancing Communication within the Organs, Endocrines and Body Parts
•Supporting the Immune System (microbes, allergies, toxins and intolerances)
•Addressing stored active memories, Belief Systems and Fears/Phobias
•Introduction to Energy Anatomy and Balancing of the Chakras and Meridians
•Balancing Environmental Factors that affect the BodyMind Complex
Genetic Repair at the Cellular Level
•A Simple but powerful technique to stimulate the Lymphatic System
•Circulation of Blood, Nerve and Lymph
•Structural Balance and Integrity
The emphasis there is mine. I had to highlight those parts because they're so dumb that I wanted to make sure they stood out - more than the dumbness already makes them. Oh, and here's another red-flag when dealing with quack nonsense:
The BodyTalk system can be learned easily by individuals with or without a background in healthcare.
Yeah, who needs any background in healthcare when you can use magic! What do you need books and science for when you can just intuit what to do and change things (like the brain or endocrine function) that are really hard to quantify?

It's the "Make Shit Up" school of healthcare!

The lady (Tracey) says that you can, "Learn to go beyond technique alone and to think outside the box with an open mind." Yes, exhibit A is your brain on the sidewalk, all opened.

I love this one. She says:
Regular use of objective measurement before and after BodyTalk sessions (as taught in the BodyTalk Orthopedic Evaluation class) demonstrates the effectiveness of the Module 1 & 2 techniques in releasing physical, energetic, emotional, environmental, and consciousness issues held in the BodyMind.
Riiiight. She teaches you the technique, she teaches you the method to measure its efficacy, then you know it works. For some reason, the phrase "closed loop" is coming to mind.

Finally, check out how she signs her name at the end of her email: Tracey Worrall AdvCBP, ParBP, CBI, BAT, BA

Man, that's a lot of letters after her name. What do they all mean? Well, the first one is "Advanced Certified BodyTalk Practitioner"; the second is "Parama BodyTalk Practitioner", whatever the hell that is; CBI stands for "Certified BodyTalk Instructor"; BAT is "BodyTalk Access Trainer; and finally BA is the commonly know Bachelor of Arts. So out of five qualifications, she made up four of them. That's not a good average.

Hell, I could put BMF, UCG, SoW, SHD(TK) and FC after my name, but "Bad MotherFucker", "Universally Cool Guy", "Stimulator of Women", "Stay at Home Dad (Two Kids)", and "Former Cheerleader" don't really hold much weight in the employment world. Actually, come to think of it, they hold as much weight as what Tracey Worrall puts after her name. Maybe I'll try that out on my new letterhead....

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29 Barbaric Yawps:

At 2/5/12 1:11 am, Anonymous Woody said...

Bodytalk, what a pile of shit! I bet they use words like quantum and crap.

 
At 2/5/12 8:03 am, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Oh, I'm sure "quantum" would come up somewhere in her seminar(s). It's almost worth paying to go just for blogging material. ...Almost.

 
At 8/11/13 2:43 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I might have agreed if after going to a bodytalk session they ask me to wait 1 more month to start fertility tratments ... That same month that I waited, Igot pregnant, after only 5 sessions ... Call it luck, call it magic, call it coincidence, call it mind game but bottom line is I got pregnant after 2 years f trying, with no fertility treatments. Just saying. So if you ask me, it works, I dont care if it's psychological, it worked on me and I am grateful.

 
At 8/11/13 4:38 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

I'm happy you got pregnant after trying for so long. By your logic, however, it could have been the drive to the sessions that "worked". It could have been the drive home *from* the sessions that "worked". There are lots of thing that could have been the deciding factor in your pregnancy, but I would certainly lean towards coincidence with respect to the whole "bodytalk" thing. Best of luck with the world of parenting! It's super fun!

 
At 1/3/14 10:26 am, Blogger Maisie said...

I did one becuase it was free I didnt wanna be tude but I could t help but laugh. She made me put a q tip in my mouth then put it in my belly button. Apperently it get the area around my head in touch with the area around my organs. Ha ha ha ha

 
At 27/4/14 11:56 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since the medical practitioners and their pharmaceutical drugs could not help me due to continues allergic reactions to meds. I was referred to homeopathic, massage therapies osteopathic practitioners and yes Body Talk. Had my first session. Therapist had no information from me. During my first session figured out I was in a past abusive relationship resulting in scaring in some area of body. Also tapped into kidney problems I am having and other physical problems. I must say I was very impressed. Willing to make a go at it seeing as she tapped in on several issues and the regular doctors told me to try anything seeing as modern medicine was working against me. Go figure.

 
At 27/4/14 1:47 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Go figure.

 
At 9/8/14 1:34 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just started a group on Facebook called Skeptical Massage Therapists. Not sure if you use FB or even if you'd be interested, but would love to have you along for the ride.

 
At 18/8/14 3:54 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I am responding to this a year later, lol. I am the one who got pregnant. We recently started trying again and decided to go back, I feel is not the same, for some reason I feel like the practitioned knows it's BS and she is just ripping me off (it's the same practicioner who "helped" me get pregnant) ... Bottom line is I didnt have a good feeling this time, I went 4 times and it didn't do much at all :( so sad!

 
At 29/11/14 11:50 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like your mind was made up before you even had a treatment. In life, you don't get what you want , you get what you believe- every time. Maybe try new things with an open mind.

 
At 1/12/14 3:26 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Sounds like you just want this to be true. In life, sometimes people don't know what they're talking about and are out to take advantage of others. Or, maybe they're just ignorant of how the body works - either way, if they're making a claim, maybe they could, I don't know, show that it's physiologically viable before foisting it on desperate consumers? Just a thought.

Also, you said, "In life, you don't get what you want , you get what you believe- every time." I wonder if these kids believe they're going to starve to death...or, if they spend every waking fucking second thinking of food and how amazing it would be to have a damn sandwich.

I'd rethink your worldview and the consequences of belief. But that's me.

 
At 5/4/15 2:21 pm, Anonymous anya said...

Very little knowledge about the system.... firing up a big shitstorm,
to bad
here in germany we've lots of good experience with bodytalk
looks like you never tried it out

 
At 5/4/15 9:46 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Anya,
Of course I haven't tried it - it's nonsense. I'm one of those "evidence" people, meaning, you have to show me something. Anything. This is babble intended to make it sound sciencey but containing zero plausiblilty. Come back when you have anything constructive to say.

 
At 7/4/15 9:17 pm, Anonymous harveypearlman.com said...

I completely understand disbelieving something because it is not easy to prove. I understand small minded people because at one time I was ignorant just as we all are until we open our minds to learning and experiencing the unknown. Just because something can not be easily and clearly explained does not make it false. For all the negaholics and nay sayers go ahead and Disprove that the BodyTalk System works!

 
At 7/4/15 9:52 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

So no evidence, eh?

...Well, see ya later.

 
At 18/7/15 9:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cut off my relationship with a friend after he starting practicing Body Talk. Such BS.. free treatments and then asking for testimonials. It did nothing for me at all.

 
At 10/12/15 12:04 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I explained my situation and someone said it was probably one of the only things that would work for me. After all, she knew someone who had MS for 17 years and was cured. I don't have MS??? Couldn't provide more specific details....... I hate snake oil. It tastes like crap so I refuse to buy it.

 
At 13/6/16 8:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike - you rock! I agree with everything you said. I love the titles after your name.

 
At 27/6/16 11:36 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

bodytalk responds to the emotional body so those closed to feeling their emotions will push against this form of healing as it requires us to take responsibility for how we arrived with health issues......when my blood pressure was brought down overnight I was astounded....I had a machine that could prove it....from time to time I would have some blips but the effect was held more solid as I walked through therapy facing unresolved issues....fear on any level effects our health....I had sessions done now and then on bp as well as pulse.....the mind is a very string machine.....initially my practitioner told me that he could tap into that zone to correct but that it can often be a temporary fix as our lives are a ball of twine that have to be unravelled the way they got wound up.....

 
At 27/6/16 3:01 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Anon,
Again, as above, I have to repeat that you have brought general banality, meaningless word-salad, and victim - blaming. Bring actual evidence or I have no time to give you.

 
At 12/8/16 4:06 pm, Blogger Unus Mundus said...

You swear a lot,it does not speak well of you.You seem to have a hatred and profond disregard toward non a non cartesian therapy,and visibly have a narrow mind.
Your writting is utter word-salad ,banality and narrow mindedness(you will notice that I remain polite) and last but not the least despicable repeated swearing.Have you a deep anger issue related to your childhood and the way you were parented?Or did you grow in a rat hole full of swearing?Or both may be?
I was willing to try this therapy despite my original doubts after reading a book written by John Veltheim the chiropractor who initiated the bodyTalk therapy.
With three bodyTalk sessions,my acute pain on my hill has totally gone,my excema spots have all desappeared except oneandmy sleep pattern has greatly improved:I fall asleep in 10 -15 minutes rather than the 45 60 minutes needed before the sessions,my energy level has improved.
The therapist that provided me the bodyTalk sessins share the same work place than me and my collegues whom several have had a go with bodyTalk with positive results(except one who had only one session).
From the own words of the bodyTalk therapist that I used there are some patients that do not have health improvement afterward(generaly do not come back for a second session)but the majority like my collegues and me do.
Some medicaments prescribed by cartesian medicine work for the majority but fail for some,some operation made by surgean are a disaster like with my wife.Nothing is 100 % successful.
Some advice to you,stop swearing,be open minded and ask yourself why you despise so much bodyTalk,be introspective rather than to spit your venom on your utter cheap low rank blog.

 
At 13/8/16 1:05 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Unus,
Firstly, go fuck yourself. This is my blog and if my word usage ruffles your feathers I will scarcely be able to gather enough rat's asses to make a hill of beans.
Your poor grammar and logical fallacies offend me more than my "bad" words could ever do to you. Read a book. Please. Don't ever read my site again because you're obviously too far down the rabbit - hole of quackery for me to do you any good.
Good riddance.

 
At 13/8/16 1:05 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 13/8/16 1:05 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 14/8/16 9:27 am, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 22/11/16 2:57 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Body talk is a load of crap. My massage therapist talked me into it saying that it was incredible and changed her life and she highly recommended it. I thought what the heck give it a try. I had no idea what it really was is someone waving their hands over your body and asking you too personal questions. It cost $200 extra on top of my massage fee. Fucking con artist bitch

 
At 19/12/16 2:38 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike well done on your straight talking expose of this nonsense. I was talked into a session byou a family member for a herniated disc issue. Numerous mri and cat scans clearly showed the exact cause of the issue yet the 'practitioner' stated it was a kidney and emotional issue. Honestly it was and still is completely laughable

 
At 19/12/16 2:46 pm, Blogger Heathen Mike said...

Anons,
Thanks very much - also I hope your disc issue got/gets resolved and you're better. No one wants to shovel or lift presents from under a tree with a sore back.
Have a great new year!

 
At 25/2/17 7:23 pm, Anonymous It's the internet said...

It's more bullshit. Sure the mind is powerful and if you believe it you may be helped. I don't believe it so it's worthless to me. Implying that those who don't believe are narrow minded or ignorant smells alot like the "your'e not a patriot if you question anything the government does" kind of crap. These kind of "treatments" don't do anything, your mind does. Swear on Mike

 

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