800 "Saints" All At Once!
Pope Frank made 800 new saints. That's so many at one time! How can he do that? I thought there were supposed to be miracles associated with the canonization?
Well, I'm glad you pointed that out, because what happened, see, was that 800 Christians were killed (martyred, really) by Ottoman Turks in 1480 (talk about your long time before recognition). What's supposed to happen is there should be two "miracles" attributed to the would-be-saint(s). Normal stuff: curing cancer, stopping the Sun, restoring an amputated limb...pretty standard, really.
As it turns out, all 800 of these folks were killed, "in hatred of the faith", so we can toss out one "miracle" claim, because Jesus. The second is that a nun (who has *NO REASON TO LIE OR MAKE SHIT UP*), who had cancer, according to the Church (who have *NO REASON TO LIE OR MAKE SHIT UP*), was cured after praying to a memorial to the 800 folks. So, that wraps that up, right people?